tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-47582286205964369192011-04-21T16:15:37.526-07:00notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.comBlogger1521100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-51934866260285517292007-10-16T08:32:00.001-07:002007-10-16T08:32:58.877-07:00<div class="ljcut">1. EVER BEEN GIVEN AN ENGAGEMENT RING? No<br /><br />2. LONGEST RELATIONSHIP? Um, about a year and a half now I think.<br /><br />3. LAST GIFT YOU RECEIVED? A stuffed tiger and a stuffed squirrel from Dave :D<br /><br />4. EVER DROPPED A CELL PHONE? Yeppers<br /><br />5. WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU WORKED OUT? I'm going to walk to the bus stop today. hehe.<br /><br />6. THING(S) YOU SPEND A LOT OF MONEY ON? Entertainment<br /><br />7. LAST FOOD YOU ATE? Cereal<br /><br />8. FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX? eyes<br /><br />9. ONE FAVORITE SONG? Glory of Love by Peter Cetera<br /><br />10. WHERE DO YOU LIVE? Here<br /><br />11. HIGH SCHOOL YOU ATTENDED: There <br /><br />12. CELL PHONE SERVICE PROVIDER: NA <br /><br />13. FAVORITE MALL STORE: Don't know<br /><br />14. LONGEST JOB YOU HAD: 4 years<br /><br />15. DO YOU OWN A PAIR OF DICE? I own some d10s<br /><br />16. DO YOU PRANK CALL PEOPLE?: No<br /><br />17. LAST WEDDING YOU ATTENDED: Mine<br /><br />18. FIRST FRIEND YOU'D CALL IF YOU WON THE LOTTERY: My husband<br /><br />19. LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR BEST FRIEND: Too long<br /><br />20. FAVORITE FAST FOOD RESTAURANT: McDonalds<br /><br />21. BIGGEST LIE YOU HAVE EVER HEARD: Pluto....<br /><br />23. WHERE'S YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO EAT WITH FRIENDS? Moxies<br /><br />24. CAN YOU COOK? I can read a recipe<br /><br />25. WHAT CAR DO YOU DRIVE?: I take the bus<br /><br />26. BEST KISSER: My husband<br /><br />27. LAST TIME YOU CRIED?: Who cares<br /><br />28. MOST DISLIKED FOODS: Spinach<br /><br />29. THING YOU LIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF: Easy goingness<br /><br />30. THING YOU DISLIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF: Worry wart (I'm a contradictory person)<br /><br />32. LONGEST SHIFT YOU HAVE WORKED AT A JOB?: Don't know<br /><br />33. FAVORITE MOVIE? Notting Hill<br /><br />34. CAN YOU SING? If I tried, I bet I could<br /><br />35. LAST CONCERT ATTENDED? Nickelback, and going to Velvet Revolver tonight<br /><br />36. LAST KISS? Until tonight<br /><br />37. LAST MOVIE RENTED: Not sure<br /><br />38. ONE THING YOU NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE WITHOUT: Clothes<br /><br />39. FAVORITE VACATION SPOT: Anywhere quiet<br /><br />43. LAPTOP OR DESKTOP COMPUTER?: laptop...is what I have<br /><br />44. FAVORITE COMEDIAN?: Anyone who can make me laugh<br /><br />45. DO YOU SMOKE? Nope<br /><br />46. SLEEP WITH OR WITHOUT CLOTHES? depends<br /><br />47. LIGHTS ON OR OFF? For what?<br /><br />48. DO LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS WORK?: Yes<br /><br />49. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BEEN PULLED OVER BY THE POLICE? a few<br /><br />50. PANCAKES OR FRENCH TOAST? pancakes<br /><br />51. DO YOU LIKE COFFEE?: yes...need more now<br /><br />52. HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS? with the yoke cooked<br /><br />53. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGY?: Well, it does exist. As to any credibility? Not as much as some put in it.<br /><br />54. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?: Don't remember<br /><br />55. LAST PERSON ON YOUR MISSED CALL LIST?: NA<br /><br />56. WHAT WAS THE LAST TEXT MESSAGE YOU RECIEVED?: NA<br /><br />58. NUMBER OF PILLOWS?: 2<br /><br />59. WHAT ARE YOU WEARING RIGHT NOW?: How dare you ;)<br /><br />60. PICK A LYRIC, ANY LYRIC: Um... Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way, <br /><br />61. WHAT KIND OF JELLY DO YOU LIKE ON YOUR PB &amp; J?: I like toe jam!&nbsp; JK!<br /><br />62. CAN YOU PLAY POOL?: Yea<br /><br />63. CAN YOU SWIM? yes<br /><br />64. FAVORITE ICE CREAM?: Ice cream....yuuuuum<br /><br />65. DO YOU LIKE MAPS? Yeah<br /><br />66. TELL ME A RANDOM FACT ABOUT YOURSELF: I AM random... I am the Random Queen and you know it! :D<br /><br />68. EVER ATTEND A THEME PARTY?: Don't think so, but I would.<br /><br />69. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON: Autumn<br /><br />70. LAST TIME YOU LAUGHED AT SOMETHING STUPID? Every day.<br /><br />71. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP THIS MORNING ? 7ish<br /><br />72. BEST THING ABOUT WINTER?: Snuggling<br /><br />73. LAST TIME A COP GAVE YOU A TICKET?: January...I think. For the wreck<br /><br />75. NAME OF YOUR FIRST PET?: Don't remember. Tabby is the first I remember<br /><br />76. DO YOU THINK PIRATES ARE COOL OR OVERRATED?: COOOOOL<br /><br />77. WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS WEEKEND?? Same ol' same ol'<br /><br />78. BIRTHDATE : You can find it elsewhere Sherlock ;)<br /><br />79. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE: Rich...only way to make it financially in this stupid world<br /><br />85. ARE YOU ON A LAPTOP?: Yep<br /><br />87. ARE YOU SMILING?: slightly<br /><br />89. DO YOU MISS SOMEONE RIGHT NOW: My hubby whose at work<br /><br />90. IF YOU COULD GO ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD WHERE WOULD YOU GO? Mountains I think<br /><br />92. ARE YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL?: What do you think?<br /><br />93. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH?: I have a Pepsi<br /><br />94. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NAME? Um...wha?<br /><br />95. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR BATHING SUIT?: Multi color...unless I have to get a new one next time I have occasion to wear one<br /><br />96. DOES YOUR SCHOOL START IN AUGUST?: Does yours?<br /><br />97. DID YOU GO ON VACATION LAST MONTH?: Nopers<br /><br />98. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A CRUISE?: No, but I'd love to<br /><br />99. DO YOU HAVE A SISTER: 2 half sisters<br /><br />100. ARE YOU UPSTAIRS?: There's a basement, so technically, yes<br /><br />101. ARE YOU IN LOVE?: Oooh yea<br /><br />102. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN THE HOSPITAL? Yes<br /><br />103. DO YOU WISH YOU COULD SEE ANYONE PARTICULAR RIGHT NOW? Yes... My Husband<br /><br />104. WHAT JEWELRY ARE YOU WEARING? Wedding ring<br /><br />105. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO AFTER THIS SURVEY? Get cleaned up and dressed and call to make sure I go to the right place. </div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-5193486626028551729?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-75446050611669170422007-10-16T08:22:00.001-07:002007-10-16T08:22:33.365-07:00Auugh my muscles are killing me thanks to yesterday's gym class. I leaned backwards to stretch my back and my abs were like, yeah that's not really gonna work for us, so now I'm sitting here trying to move as little as possible. I have a midterm in my Southern history class today and I really have no idea how it's gonna go. It's open-note and open-book but it's also an essay exam, and I hate a) writing essays without a computer and b) planning and writing essays in a set amount of time. I dunno, I think I'm too worried over my senior project to stress about anything else. Speaking of my senior project, I told my adviser I'd have some pages for him to look at today buuuut... that didn't really happen. I have like, a paragraph of gibberish. Luckily he's really understanding and I don't have to meet him until 2:00, so I can work on it a little more before then. I'm also meeting Negrelli-sensei today since the applications for JET are up and I want to talk to her about All Things Japan. I think I'll be asking for my references from her and Dr. Cozzens, although I won't officially ask them to do anything until I've got my statement of purpose written so I can give them a copy of that and talk to them about it a little. Over the weekend I went to Uncle Shuck's Corn Maze with AtlantaHP and had a blast--last year we went into the maze in teams trying to find the triwizard cup, but this year we just went in and raced to find all the checkpoints so it was fun to just sort of enjoy the maze for itself. They also had a haunted maze set up, and I was <i>terrified</i>. I held onto Traci and Veronica for dear life and screamed my head off. I have bruises on my arm that I think I must have got in the haunted maze--either from someone grabbing onto me for a change or from when we were being chased by one of the chainsaw guys in an area where they had smoke machines going and we ended up shoved up against the corn because we couldn't see where to go (although, in our defense, there was a green arrow pointing to a dead end and red lights where we should have gone. The chainsaw guy had to break character to point us in the right direction, which was pretty hilarious). Man, I love stuff like that. Halloween is the best. I should probably get back to studying and writing now. I'm looking forward to Fall Break even though I'm not going anywhere because it'll give me a chance to finally catch up with everything. And maybe I'll actually get a good night's sleep for the first time all month!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-7544605061166917042?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-28156562355614103392007-10-16T08:20:00.003-07:002007-10-16T08:20:37.154-07:00Heh. Sometimes the universe/Divine/God/dess speaks to me in very plain language. This morning's meditation yielded:<br /><br />"Don't wallow in self pity."<br /><br /><br />Plus, a lovely card explaining how I'm getting behind on some stuff and need to get it done or else.<br /><br />Heh.&nbsp; See? Universe takes pity on simple minds. :)<br /><br /><br />In other news, be vewy quiet, I am hunting dulcimers.&nbsp; I like a couple of different company's models.&nbsp; <br /><br />http://www.mcspaddendulcimers.com/index.cfm/fuseaction/displayleaf/sid/1695662092171235661268/numlis/12/lh/h-0,c-8/sqst/9.htm&nbsp; (Specifically the standard hour-glass walnut or cherry)<br /><br />http://www.folkwood.com/page237.htm<br /><br />I'm finding that getting used ones on ebay is more challenging than I thought.&nbsp; I really want an hourglass one, and they don't seem to be much cheaper there than buying a new one from a company.&nbsp; We'll see. If it's supposed to happen, it will.&nbsp; Perhaps I'm only kidding myself that I have time or inclination to learn to play another instrument.&nbsp; Still, the idea of having something new to learn this winter that <b>doesn't</b> involve computers sounds attractive.&nbsp; <br /><br />Since taking a couple of knitting classes this spring, I've knitted a scarf, two pairs of socks, mittens, a hat and just finished the pieces for a sweater.&nbsp; I'm starting another hat for myself with the yarn I have left over from the previous projects.&nbsp; However, I'm finding that I'm getting a bit bored with it and am not sure what project to do next to challenge myself.&nbsp; I'm using two colors on the current hat (striping teal and black).&nbsp;&nbsp; Any suggestions from the knitters out there on new projects that would involve learning new techniques?&nbsp; I was so impressed with <div class="ljuser"><a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://kightp.livejournal.com/profile"><img width="17" height="17" src="http://stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif" alt="[info]" style="border:0pt none;vertical-align:bottom;padding-right:1px;"/></a><a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://kightp.livejournal.com/"><b>kightp</b></a></div>'s lace shawl that I considered going that direction. But, I'm not really into lace. In our household, lace wouldn't last ten minutes. I just can't find anything that really grabs my interest.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-2815656235561410339?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-64212978427543332212007-10-16T08:20:00.001-07:002007-10-16T08:20:16.500-07:00Auugh my muscles are killing me thanks to yesterday's gym class. I leaned backwards to stretch my back and my abs were like, yeah that's not really gonna work for us, so now I'm sitting here trying to move as little as possible. I have a midterm in my Southern history class today and I really have no idea how it's gonna go. It's open-note and open-book but it's also an essay exam, and I hate a) writing essays without a computer and b) planning and writing essays in a set amount of time. I dunno, I think I'm too worried over my senior project to stress about anything else. Speaking of my senior project, I told my adviser I'd have some pages for him to look at today buuuut... that didn't really happen. I have like, a paragraph of gibberish. Luckily he's really understanding and I don't have to meet him until 2:00, so I can work on it a little more before then. I'm also meeting Negrelli-sensei today since the applications for JET are up and I want to talk to her about All Things Japan. I think I'll be asking for my references from her and Dr. Cozzens, although I won't officially ask them to do anything until I've got my statement of purpose written so I can give them a copy of that and talk to them about it a little. Over the weekend I went to Uncle Shuck's Corn Maze with AtlantaHP and had a blast--last year we went into the maze in teams trying to find the triwizard cup, but this year we just went in and raced to find all the checkpoints so it was fun to just sort of enjoy the maze for itself. They also had a haunted maze set up, and I was <i>terrified</i>. I held onto Traci and Veronica for dear life and screamed my head off. I have bruises on my arm that I think I must have got in the haunted maze--either from someone grabbing onto me for a change or from when we were being chased by one of the chainsaw guys in an area where they had smoke machines going and we ended up shoved up against the corn because we couldn't see where to go (although, in our defense, there was a green arrow pointing to a dead end and red lights where we should have gone. The chainsaw guy had to break character to point us in the right direction, which was pretty hilarious). Man, I love stuff like that. Halloween is the best. I should probably get back to studying and writing now. I'm looking forward to Fall Break even though I'm not going anywhere because it'll give me a chance to finally catch up with everything. And maybe I'll actually get a good night's sleep for the first time all month!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-6421297842754333221?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-67791173630893178862007-10-16T08:19:00.001-07:002007-10-16T08:19:52.722-07:00Heh. Sometimes the universe/Divine/God/dess speaks to me in very plain language. This morning's meditation yielded:<br /><br />"Don't wallow in self pity."<br /><br /><br />Plus, a lovely card explaining how I'm getting behind on some stuff and need to get it done or else.<br /><br />Heh.&nbsp; See? Universe takes pity on simple minds. :)<br /><br /><br />In other news, be vewy quiet, I am hunting dulcimers.&nbsp; I like a couple of different company's models.&nbsp; <br /><br />http://www.mcspaddendulcimers.com/index.cfm/fuseaction/displayleaf/sid/1695662092171235661268/numlis/12/lh/h-0,c-8/sqst/9.htm&nbsp; (Specifically the standard hour-glass walnut or cherry)<br /><br />http://www.folkwood.com/page237.htm<br /><br />I'm finding that getting used ones on ebay is more challenging than I thought.&nbsp; I really want an hourglass one, and they don't seem to be much cheaper there than buying a new one from a company.&nbsp; We'll see. If it's supposed to happen, it will.&nbsp; Perhaps I'm only kidding myself that I have time or inclination to learn to play another instrument.&nbsp; Still, the idea of having something new to learn this winter that <b>doesn't</b> involve computers sounds attractive.&nbsp; <br /><br />Since taking a couple of knitting classes this spring, I've knitted a scarf, two pairs of socks, mittens, a hat and just finished the pieces for a sweater.&nbsp; I'm starting another hat for myself with the yarn I have left over from the previous projects.&nbsp; However, I'm finding that I'm getting a bit bored with it and am not sure what project to do next to challenge myself.&nbsp; I'm using two colors on the current hat (striping teal and black).&nbsp;&nbsp; Any suggestions from the knitters out there on new projects that would involve learning new techniques?&nbsp; I was so impressed with <div class="ljuser"><a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://kightp.livejournal.com/profile"><img width="17" height="17" src="http://stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif" alt="[info]" style="border:0pt none;vertical-align:bottom;padding-right:1px;"/></a><a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://kightp.livejournal.com/"><b>kightp</b></a></div>'s lace shawl that I considered going that direction. But, I'm not really into lace. In our household, lace wouldn't last ten minutes. I just can't find anything that really grabs my interest.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-6779117363089317886?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-66214990747487603392007-10-16T08:18:00.001-07:002007-10-16T08:18:53.852-07:00Auugh my muscles are killing me thanks to yesterday's gym class. I leaned backwards to stretch my back and my abs were like, yeah that's not really gonna work for us, so now I'm sitting here trying to move as little as possible. I have a midterm in my Southern history class today and I really have no idea how it's gonna go. It's open-note and open-book but it's also an essay exam, and I hate a) writing essays without a computer and b) planning and writing essays in a set amount of time. I dunno, I think I'm too worried over my senior project to stress about anything else. Speaking of my senior project, I told my adviser I'd have some pages for him to look at today buuuut... that didn't really happen. I have like, a paragraph of gibberish. Luckily he's really understanding and I don't have to meet him until 2:00, so I can work on it a little more before then. I'm also meeting Negrelli-sensei today since the applications for JET are up and I want to talk to her about All Things Japan. I think I'll be asking for my references from her and Dr. Cozzens, although I won't officially ask them to do anything until I've got my statement of purpose written so I can give them a copy of that and talk to them about it a little. Over the weekend I went to Uncle Shuck's Corn Maze with AtlantaHP and had a blast--last year we went into the maze in teams trying to find the triwizard cup, but this year we just went in and raced to find all the checkpoints so it was fun to just sort of enjoy the maze for itself. They also had a haunted maze set up, and I was <i>terrified</i>. I held onto Traci and Veronica for dear life and screamed my head off. I have bruises on my arm that I think I must have got in the haunted maze--either from someone grabbing onto me for a change or from when we were being chased by one of the chainsaw guys in an area where they had smoke machines going and we ended up shoved up against the corn because we couldn't see where to go (although, in our defense, there was a green arrow pointing to a dead end and red lights where we should have gone. The chainsaw guy had to break character to point us in the right direction, which was pretty hilarious). Man, I love stuff like that. Halloween is the best. I should probably get back to studying and writing now. I'm looking forward to Fall Break even though I'm not going anywhere because it'll give me a chance to finally catch up with everything. And maybe I'll actually get a good night's sleep for the first time all month!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-6621499074748760339?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-52455008025443046322007-10-16T08:17:00.001-07:002007-10-16T08:17:00.325-07:00Heh. Sometimes the universe/Divine/God/dess speaks to me in very plain language. This morning's meditation yielded:<br /><br />"Don't wallow in self pity."<br /><br /><br />Plus, a lovely card explaining how I'm getting behind on some stuff and need to get it done or else.<br /><br />Heh.&nbsp; See? Universe takes pity on simple minds. :)<br /><br /><br />In other news, be vewy quiet, I am hunting dulcimers.&nbsp; I like a couple of different company's models.&nbsp; <br /><br />http://www.mcspaddendulcimers.com/index.cfm/fuseaction/displayleaf/sid/1695662092171235661268/numlis/12/lh/h-0,c-8/sqst/9.htm&nbsp; (Specifically the standard hour-glass walnut or cherry)<br /><br />http://www.folkwood.com/page237.htm<br /><br />I'm finding that getting used ones on ebay is more challenging than I thought.&nbsp; I really want an hourglass one, and they don't seem to be much cheaper there than buying a new one from a company.&nbsp; We'll see. If it's supposed to happen, it will.&nbsp; Perhaps I'm only kidding myself that I have time or inclination to learn to play another instrument.&nbsp; Still, the idea of having something new to learn this winter that <b>doesn't</b> involve computers sounds attractive.&nbsp; <br /><br />Since taking a couple of knitting classes this spring, I've knitted a scarf, two pairs of socks, mittens, a hat and just finished the pieces for a sweater.&nbsp; I'm starting another hat for myself with the yarn I have left over from the previous projects.&nbsp; However, I'm finding that I'm getting a bit bored with it and am not sure what project to do next to challenge myself.&nbsp; I'm using two colors on the current hat (striping teal and black).&nbsp;&nbsp; Any suggestions from the knitters out there on new projects that would involve learning new techniques?&nbsp; I was so impressed with <div class="ljuser"><a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://kightp.livejournal.com/profile"><img width="17" height="17" src="http://stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif" alt="[info]" style="border:0pt none;vertical-align:bottom;padding-right:1px;"/></a><a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://kightp.livejournal.com/"><b>kightp</b></a></div>'s lace shawl that I considered going that direction. But, I'm not really into lace. In our household, lace wouldn't last ten minutes. I just can't find anything that really grabs my interest.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-5245500802544304632?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-6465383898232041672007-10-16T08:15:00.005-07:002007-10-16T08:15:57.213-07:00Auugh my muscles are killing me thanks to yesterday's gym class. I leaned backwards to stretch my back and my abs were like, yeah that's not really gonna work for us, so now I'm sitting here trying to move as little as possible. I have a midterm in my Southern history class today and I really have no idea how it's gonna go. It's open-note and open-book but it's also an essay exam, and I hate a) writing essays without a computer and b) planning and writing essays in a set amount of time. I dunno, I think I'm too worried over my senior project to stress about anything else. Speaking of my senior project, I told my adviser I'd have some pages for him to look at today buuuut... that didn't really happen. I have like, a paragraph of gibberish. Luckily he's really understanding and I don't have to meet him until 2:00, so I can work on it a little more before then. I'm also meeting Negrelli-sensei today since the applications for JET are up and I want to talk to her about All Things Japan. I think I'll be asking for my references from her and Dr. Cozzens, although I won't officially ask them to do anything until I've got my statement of purpose written so I can give them a copy of that and talk to them about it a little. Over the weekend I went to Uncle Shuck's Corn Maze with AtlantaHP and had a blast--last year we went into the maze in teams trying to find the triwizard cup, but this year we just went in and raced to find all the checkpoints so it was fun to just sort of enjoy the maze for itself. They also had a haunted maze set up, and I was <i>terrified</i>. I held onto Traci and Veronica for dear life and screamed my head off. I have bruises on my arm that I think I must have got in the haunted maze--either from someone grabbing onto me for a change or from when we were being chased by one of the chainsaw guys in an area where they had smoke machines going and we ended up shoved up against the corn because we couldn't see where to go (although, in our defense, there was a green arrow pointing to a dead end and red lights where we should have gone. The chainsaw guy had to break character to point us in the right direction, which was pretty hilarious). Man, I love stuff like that. Halloween is the best. I should probably get back to studying and writing now. I'm looking forward to Fall Break even though I'm not going anywhere because it'll give me a chance to finally catch up with everything. And maybe I'll actually get a good night's sleep for the first time all month!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-646538389823204167?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-71086539700107563662007-10-16T08:15:00.003-07:002007-10-16T08:15:31.742-07:00Heh. Sometimes the universe/Divine/God/dess speaks to me in very plain language. This morning's meditation yielded:<br /><br />"Don't wallow in self pity."<br /><br /><br />Plus, a lovely card explaining how I'm getting behind on some stuff and need to get it done or else.<br /><br />Heh.&nbsp; See? Universe takes pity on simple minds. :)<br /><br /><br />In other news, be vewy quiet, I am hunting dulcimers.&nbsp; I like a couple of different company's models.&nbsp; <br /><br />http://www.mcspaddendulcimers.com/index.cfm/fuseaction/displayleaf/sid/1695662092171235661268/numlis/12/lh/h-0,c-8/sqst/9.htm&nbsp; (Specifically the standard hour-glass walnut or cherry)<br /><br />http://www.folkwood.com/page237.htm<br /><br />I'm finding that getting used ones on ebay is more challenging than I thought.&nbsp; I really want an hourglass one, and they don't seem to be much cheaper there than buying a new one from a company.&nbsp; We'll see. If it's supposed to happen, it will.&nbsp; Perhaps I'm only kidding myself that I have time or inclination to learn to play another instrument.&nbsp; Still, the idea of having something new to learn this winter that <b>doesn't</b> involve computers sounds attractive.&nbsp; <br /><br />Since taking a couple of knitting classes this spring, I've knitted a scarf, two pairs of socks, mittens, a hat and just finished the pieces for a sweater.&nbsp; I'm starting another hat for myself with the yarn I have left over from the previous projects.&nbsp; However, I'm finding that I'm getting a bit bored with it and am not sure what project to do next to challenge myself.&nbsp; I'm using two colors on the current hat (striping teal and black).&nbsp;&nbsp; Any suggestions from the knitters out there on new projects that would involve learning new techniques?&nbsp; I was so impressed with <div class="ljuser"><a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://kightp.livejournal.com/profile"><img width="17" height="17" src="http://stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif" alt="[info]" style="border:0pt none;vertical-align:bottom;padding-right:1px;"/></a><a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://kightp.livejournal.com/"><b>kightp</b></a></div>'s lace shawl that I considered going that direction. But, I'm not really into lace. In our household, lace wouldn't last ten minutes. I just can't find anything that really grabs my interest.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-7108653970010756366?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-89608066769911111872007-10-16T08:15:00.001-07:002007-10-16T08:15:01.270-07:00Auugh my muscles are killing me thanks to yesterday's gym class. I leaned backwards to stretch my back and my abs were like, yeah that's not really gonna work for us, so now I'm sitting here trying to move as little as possible. I have a midterm in my Southern history class today and I really have no idea how it's gonna go. It's open-note and open-book but it's also an essay exam, and I hate a) writing essays without a computer and b) planning and writing essays in a set amount of time. I dunno, I think I'm too worried over my senior project to stress about anything else. Speaking of my senior project, I told my adviser I'd have some pages for him to look at today buuuut... that didn't really happen. I have like, a paragraph of gibberish. Luckily he's really understanding and I don't have to meet him until 2:00, so I can work on it a little more before then. I'm also meeting Negrelli-sensei today since the applications for JET are up and I want to talk to her about All Things Japan. I think I'll be asking for my references from her and Dr. Cozzens, although I won't officially ask them to do anything until I've got my statement of purpose written so I can give them a copy of that and talk to them about it a little. Over the weekend I went to Uncle Shuck's Corn Maze with AtlantaHP and had a blast--last year we went into the maze in teams trying to find the triwizard cup, but this year we just went in and raced to find all the checkpoints so it was fun to just sort of enjoy the maze for itself. They also had a haunted maze set up, and I was <i>terrified</i>. I held onto Traci and Veronica for dear life and screamed my head off. I have bruises on my arm that I think I must have got in the haunted maze--either from someone grabbing onto me for a change or from when we were being chased by one of the chainsaw guys in an area where they had smoke machines going and we ended up shoved up against the corn because we couldn't see where to go (although, in our defense, there was a green arrow pointing to a dead end and red lights where we should have gone. The chainsaw guy had to break character to point us in the right direction, which was pretty hilarious). Man, I love stuff like that. Halloween is the best. I should probably get back to studying and writing now. I'm looking forward to Fall Break even though I'm not going anywhere because it'll give me a chance to finally catch up with everything. And maybe I'll actually get a good night's sleep for the first time all month!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-8960806676991111187?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-63987455695626114222007-10-16T08:13:00.001-07:002007-10-16T08:13:55.015-07:00Heh. Sometimes the universe/Divine/God/dess speaks to me in very plain language. This morning's meditation yielded:<br /><br />"Don't wallow in self pity."<br /><br /><br />Plus, a lovely card explaining how I'm getting behind on some stuff and need to get it done or else.<br /><br />Heh.&nbsp; See? Universe takes pity on simple minds. :)<br /><br /><br />In other news, be vewy quiet, I am hunting dulcimers.&nbsp; I like a couple of different company's models.&nbsp; <br /><br />http://www.mcspaddendulcimers.com/index.cfm/fuseaction/displayleaf/sid/1695662092171235661268/numlis/12/lh/h-0,c-8/sqst/9.htm&nbsp; (Specifically the standard hour-glass walnut or cherry)<br /><br />http://www.folkwood.com/page237.htm<br /><br />I'm finding that getting used ones on ebay is more challenging than I thought.&nbsp; I really want an hourglass one, and they don't seem to be much cheaper there than buying a new one from a company.&nbsp; We'll see. If it's supposed to happen, it will.&nbsp; Perhaps I'm only kidding myself that I have time or inclination to learn to play another instrument.&nbsp; Still, the idea of having something new to learn this winter that <b>doesn't</b> involve computers sounds attractive.&nbsp; <br /><br />Since taking a couple of knitting classes this spring, I've knitted a scarf, two pairs of socks, mittens, a hat and just finished the pieces for a sweater.&nbsp; I'm starting another hat for myself with the yarn I have left over from the previous projects.&nbsp; However, I'm finding that I'm getting a bit bored with it and am not sure what project to do next to challenge myself.&nbsp; I'm using two colors on the current hat (striping teal and black).&nbsp;&nbsp; Any suggestions from the knitters out there on new projects that would involve learning new techniques?&nbsp; I was so impressed with <div class="ljuser"><a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://kightp.livejournal.com/profile"><img width="17" height="17" src="http://stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif" alt="[info]" style="border:0pt none;vertical-align:bottom;padding-right:1px;"/></a><a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://kightp.livejournal.com/"><b>kightp</b></a></div>'s lace shawl that I considered going that direction. But, I'm not really into lace. In our household, lace wouldn't last ten minutes. I just can't find anything that really grabs my interest.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-6398745569562611422?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-45205206113333341582007-10-16T08:03:00.001-07:002007-10-16T08:03:48.210-07:00<h2>Stick RPG, Strategy RPG Games - Presented by AddictingGames</h2><p>A perfect blend of 1st person shooter, adventure, <a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href='http://cell-phone-free.org'>free cell phone</a> and role <big>play</big>ing - Deus Ex is a ground breaking achievement never matched. Beat the hell out of Binlarden in the ring! <b>RPG </b>Gateway by Effie Rover Abandon the Search for Truth. The <font color="red">RPG</font>Meme WebRing is meant for any website (forum community, personal journal, <a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href='http://home-odessa.com'>home Odessa</a> <i>rpg </i>website etc) that desires to promote active communication between <small>play</small>ers about role-playing <strong>games</strong>. Deus Ex is one of those <big>games </big>that is so good and so unique it is no wonder it is on almost every all-time greatist game lists in existence. Maple Story - Papulatus Difficult action <u>RPG </u>battle game. AUDIO VIDEO LATEST <u>GAMES </u>NEWS 02. If you are already a registered member just click on the RP List. This is a fantastic flash <b>RPG </b>game.</p> <h3>Sryth: The Age of Igtheon (TM) - Fantasy RPG</h3> <p> If you haven't a lot of time to devote, but can manage to put a block of time together each day or each week, try PbEM. 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This ring links Harry Potter role <i>play games </i>and general Harry Potter sites with role <font color="red">play</font>ing content. .the best browser <b>RPG </b>I have <font color="green">play</font>ed to date. 4 of 7 people found this review helpful Deus Ex Is defiinitley in my top ten <i>games </i>of all time it rocks. Browser Based (77) Usually (but not always) first-person shooters, these web-based <i>games </i>allow you to roleplay in a graphical environment. Massively Multiplayer Online (60)From WarCraft to Everquest to the Sims, buy the software at your local computer store and game online with others across the Internet. A unique feature of MUDs is the ability for users to create things which can be left in the game, even after the <font color="green">play</font>er is long gone. Browser Based (76)Usually (but not always) first-person shooters, these web-based <strong>games </strong>allow you to roleplay in a graphical environment. Help the King save the town and his life in this humorous <font color="red">RPG</font>. If you <i>play </i>your cards right, they might talk to you, give you their number, if you are lucky ma. </p><br/><a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://www.ugoplayer.com/games/tacticscore.html">Tactics Core | <b>Play</b> Tactics Core <b>Game</b> Free Online | UGOPlayer.com</a> <br/><br />An amazing <b>RPG</b> style <b>game</b> done all in flash Horror Trivia <b>Game</b>. Wanna <b>Play</b> More <b>Games</b>? Esquire's Sexiest Woman. Hot Girls<br/><a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://games.kiwibox.com/kiwigames.asp">Kiwibox <b>Games</b> - KiwiGames</a> <br/><br />Read news and reviews about <b>games</b>, as well as <b>play</b> online <b>games</b> at Kiwibox. <b>Play</b> KiwiGames. <b>Games</b> Poll. Whats your favorite <b>RPG</b> <b>game</b>/series? Final Fantasy<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-4520520611333334158?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-14805568175340314422007-10-10T04:03:00.001-07:002007-10-10T04:03:36.406-07:00Dragonfly or Insect Spy? Scientists at Work on Robobugs. By Rick Weiss<br />Washington Post Staff Writer<br />Tuesday, October 9, 2007; Page A03 Vanessa Alarcon saw them while working at an antiwar rally in Lafayette Square last month. "I heard someone say, 'Oh my god, look at those,' " the college senior from New York recalled. "I look up and I'm like, 'What the hell is that?' They looked kind of like dragonflies or little helicopters. But I mean, those are not insects." Robotic fliers have been used by the military since World War II, but in the past decade their numbers and level of sophistication have increased enormously.<br />Out in the crowd, Bernard Crane saw them, too. "I'd never seen anything like it in my life," the Washington lawyer said. "They were large for dragonflies. I thought, 'Is that mechanical, or is that alive?' " That is just one of the questions hovering over a handful of similar sightings at political events in Washington and New York. Some suspect the insectlike drones are high-tech surveillance tools, perhaps deployed by the Department of Homeland Security. Others think they are, well, dragonflies -- an ancient order of insects that even biologists concede look about as robotic as a living creature can look. No agency admits to having deployed insect-size spy drones. But a number of U.S. government and private entities acknowledge they are trying. Some federally funded teams are even growing live insects with computer chips in them, with the goal of mounting spyware on their bodies and controlling their flight muscles remotely. The robobugs could follow suspects, guide missiles to targets or navigate the crannies of collapsed buildings to find survivors.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-1480556817534031442?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-10692829984217020492007-10-10T03:36:00.001-07:002007-10-10T03:36:11.090-07:00Here lies an attempt to summarize and explain my terribly convoluted feelings for Liliana. Hopefully it will aid my attempts to re-establish the brief period of happiness we had together, and if not, at least allow me to avoid bringing further unhappiness into her life. It begins near the beginning of Semester 2 last year, in August. I had first properly Liliana in the MUMS room playing Sudoku, and found her manner peculiar but otherwise thought little of it at the time and simply classified her as another of QC's extended friend network. However, she soon began to tag along with QC to various outings involving myself, and eventually began showing up at my house by herself to wake me up and drag me out and acquire lunch. I was slightly confused by this, but being used to the quirkiness of humans, assumed she just did this sort of thing to all her friends. Liliana struck me at first as an archetype I was well acquainted with, the ditzy girls with sufficient local intelligence and wit to attach themselves to intellectual crowds without actually practicing any of the disciplines on which they are based. Soon enough she started regularly talking to me online, and bringing me back to her boyfriend's apartment for brief periods to play games and engage in conversation. This was all very pleasant and not terribly scary beyond my ordinary social anxiety. I do, however, recall one particular instance of her wearing a bikini. I had not noticed her to be particularly attractive until this point, but was in little position to appreciate when I did. What I now assume to be her 'seductive' behaviour was most distressing to me at the time- at that stage I barely knew her and could only guess at what its purpose was, most of my guesses leading to some kind of hostile manipulation. The fact that Daniel was in fact present at the time further complicated the situation, and I simply ignored her oddness for the time being. I am uncertain about the order in which the following events (park &amp; kidnapping) occurred, but I will begin with the park. One night I mentioned my tendency to feed local possums to Liliana, and she suggested we do so together, to which I agreed. Unfortunately, we had come too late, and few possums were present. My memory of the exact proceeds is fuzzy, but I believe Liliana noticed my disappointment at this and attempted to hug me. This was most startling to me as I had still only met her a month or so previously, and combined with previous encounters and the fact that she was already in an apparently loving relationship, I was most suspicious of her intentions. Liliana was understandably most upset by my reluctance to return her affections, and we left each other feeling substantially confused and depressed. Reference is &lt;a href="http://sharnofshade.livejournal.com/2006/09/05/"&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;. After sharing this emotional experience, unpleasant or not, our relationship picked up. We began seeing each other much more frequently, and eventually I ended up staying at Daniel's apartment for two weeks while he was away. This time was one of the happiest periods of my life; after so long without people whom I cared about and who cared about me, Liliana was wonderful. We spent almost every moment together, either going out to feed seagulls and pigeons or staying in to watch Red Dwarf or play Gamecube. Reference &lt;a href="http://terraluming.livejournal.com/2006/09/20/"&gt;here&lt;/a&gt; and&lt;a href="http://terraluming.livejournal.com/2006/09/27/"&gt;here&lt;/a&gt;. At this point I was slightly aware of her crush, but although I liked her a great deal and we often slept in the same bed, sexual interest had not entered my mind at all. I was simply happy to have a real friend again. Shortly after this period of time however, my relationship with my father deteriorated, which is a whole other story which I have little desire to expand on here. Ultimately it resulted in my staying at the apartment on a more or less permanent basis and greatly reinforcing my growing attachment to Liliana, thanks to her wonderful support and comforting abilities. However, Daniel was growing understandably displeased by the amount of time we spent together. I felt horribly guilty for this, having no desire to break up their relationship. But there was little I could do at the time, as I was on bad terms with all of my family and literally had nowhere else to go. At some point, Liliana began attempting to kiss me. While quite attracted to her by this stage, my desire not to hurt her relationship with Daniel was stronger. Nonetheless, it did not last, and we eventually did have sex. I was at that point a virgin, and found it frightening, but the sensation of reciprocated &lt;i&gt;closeness&lt;/i&gt; to another individual was extremely pleasant and not what I had previously imagined sex to be like at all. We began to engage in sex fairly regularly from this point, although exam stress dulled my desire for it considerably, much to Liliana's irritation. Eventually, at the beginning of 2007, Daniel left for America, leaving us alone with the apartment and a large amount of free time. The following month or so was almost as pleasant as the two weeks I had stayed with her previously. I loved her dearly by this stage, and my affections appeared to be reciprocated. We ate, played and slept together, had marvelous discussions regarding scientific wonders and snerked at the ignorant, and were generally about as close as any two people could be. Sex was occasional, and though quite enjoyable, far from a major factor in our friendship. Life was fairly awesome. However, as with all good things, it did not last. At some point I made the mistake of introducing her to Arlen. My past relationship with Arlen was far more convoluted and twisted than I feel comfortable espousing about at present, but the upshot of it all was that he acted as an emotional wildcard on me. His presence tended to induce a state of emotional hyperalgesia in me, increasing my sensitivity even to the most neutral stimuli. Liliana had known of my attraction to Arlen for some time, and somehow got it in to her head that it would make me happy to get us back together. I knew that would never happen, but Liliana's adorable naivete was difficult to resist and I did still have lingering attraction to the boy. Unfortunately, Arlen played along- any residual interest he may have had in me had long since faded, but he too took a great liking to Liliana. This culminated in one of the most unpleasant nights of my life, and one of the few times I have seriously considered committing suicide. The two of them had sex. I believe Liliana had originally intended it to be a threesome, but knowing what I did of Arlen's intentions (and being terribly sleepy), I had no interest in participating and instead attempted to fall asleep.<br />A fatal mistake, as this resulted in my having to endure four hours (and three orgasms) of the only two people in the world I had ever truely cared about completely ignoring me in favor of each other. The pain was unendurable, and had I not been under the effects of emotional paralysis I most likely would have screamed. After they were asleep, I left the room, curled up in the computer room and cried for several more hours before Liliana awoke and found me. The rest of the day was spent in and out of tears, but I eventually recovered enough to feel something approximating normal. Just as this occurred, however, I found the two of them in the bedroom making out- and it all returned quite suddenly. I amalgamated my belongings and fled from the apartment. To my great relief, Liliana followed me, and we spent a time lying in the park crying into each others' arms. The next couple of months I was greatly depressed for much of the time, though I managed to suppress it in Liliana's company. Exams came and went. Daniel returned from America, and I saw less of her. The times when I did were relatively happy, although notably we never had sex. I began to notice subtle things about Liliana; the way she talked to Daniel was the most significant, as every second statement about herself appeared to be some kind of lie or misleading halftruth. Combined with previous occasions where she had been less than honest with me, I began to become somewhat wary of the girl's integrity. Still, I loved her greatly, and things were relatively peaceful between us. Time passed, and Daniel soon left for America again, but not before introducing Liliana to an individual known as Mark. Mark was an analyical philosopher- an important point, because if there is one discipline I despise the most, it is the art of making yourself look intelligent in order to gain power over other peoples' perceptions. She soon developed a crush on this Mark, which troubled me, but I didn't think much of it of the time as he was already engaged. I should have known better by this stage. Liliana and Mark became more closely acquainted, and it was eventually revealed that the crush was reciprocated. I have little desire or time to recount the recent events which followed from this, but I shall summarize the dilemma they pose for me as follows. 1. Liliana has stated that she likes Mark more than just physically.<br />2. She spends long periods of time engaged in online conversation with him.<br />3. For the last month or so we have barely had a real conversation, nor done anything significant together.<br />4. Liliana has not had sex with me nor displayed attraction to me at all, despite my clear interest in her.<br />5. She has stated that this is because she simply has no interest in sex at the moment, and does not masturbate or have interest in other men. This would be understandable.<br />6. Were it true. She has kissed Mark and made her sexual attraction to him very clear. Additionally, she has also masturbated on several occasions.<br />7. She lost interest in Daniel exceptionally quickly despite claiming to love him greatly, and virtually all her interactions with him recently have consisted of lies and deceit because it is 'too much effort to break up with him'.<br />8. Liliana has stated that she 'likes similar things about Mark that she likes about me', which is ironically supposed to comfort me.<br />9. I am therefore forced to conclude, roughly in order of the amount of supporting evidence:<br />&nbsp; 9a. Liliana is much more attracted to Mark than she is to me.<br />&nbsp; 9b. She has been lying to me about her sex drive in a similar way she did to Daniel, in order to prevent me from being upset and causing trouble.<br />&nbsp; 9c. Liliana is no longer attracted to me at all.<br />&nbsp; 9d. She also no longer loves me, and is likely keeping me around simply out of convenience and habit. I hope these conclusions are false, and that the whole thing is simply a result of my abandonment issues and paranoia. I will continue to gather evidence until I am certain of my conclusions. But for the moment, the situation does not look particularly good.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-1069282998421702049?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-12389357339584456932007-10-10T03:21:00.001-07:002007-10-10T03:21:21.917-07:00&nbsp;fuck, i'm so sleepy. i don't know how can i survive the looooooonnnggg way home without falling flat on my face. one great thing though - one more day and i'm gonna be free for three fucking days!! wuhoo!! i can't wait for thursday to be over, i might do cartwheels tomorrow!!! haha, now i'm being ridiculous. hey, i ahve to entertain myself.... i've been drinking coffee the whole day and i know i'll probably die from it and judging the amount of caffeine i've had today, it's probably enough to make a full-grown man stay awake for week! too bad my system's fucked up.. it's like i never had coffee. i should pack up now... ...maybe another cup would do the job. i'm gonna throw my co-worker's computer out of the window, her music is pissing me off.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-1238935733958445693?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-7384472577464193132007-10-10T02:56:00.001-07:002007-10-10T02:56:24.063-07:00<p>it's been awhile.<br />been sick, very very sick this month (think&nbsp;2 weeks of mc &amp; flu)&nbsp;and in the midst of preparing for Czech! apparently everyone's really excited about it too. =) oh, 2 weeks of porridge is no joke either. bahhh. =|<br /><br />there are many things on my mind lately. too many to pen down. or rather, gucci (my laptop has a posh name) has been living in my office for the past few weeks and thus the unavailability in updating more often. but you know i'm not that apologetic, more internet time means more depressing entries (maybe).<br /><br />2&nbsp;things to give thanks for:<br />..my dearest boss is finally married. i'm really happy for her...many thoughts ran through my mind as i witnessed her exchanging vows, giving thank-you speech to parents, and so so blissful. i'll elaborate more when i get our photos!&nbsp;<br /><br />..czech is becoming a reality. i didn't dare to believe that i will have enough to eat (but now i do. you will see it later) nor do i have enough to buy stuff for myself. aiya, let's face it. who doesn't like to buy get a piece of the country you're travelling in for yourself? up to last night, i couldn't believe that i can survive. i mean, i'm only bringing $550 (inclusive of transport and&nbsp;stay)&nbsp;over! how to survive....but&nbsp;really, thank&nbsp;God. &nbsp;i decided to surrender to God and i told Him that i'll trust He will provide and i'll not worry. i will not starve because God won't allow that.&nbsp;praise Him! today, when i met my aunt, she gave me money. on top of that, she's paying for my travel insurance! another friend decided to donate money to me too. =...) i'm really, really thankful because God really answers prayers.&nbsp;</p><p>there are many reasons to why going on this trip means so much to me. i need a break, i need to take my mind away from him, maybe a transition from creature&nbsp;to <a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://www.uglydolls.com/">babo</a> (i'm so torn over this, though much silly as it sounds), resting my soul, a time of bonding with my 2 gfs, attending the film fest and more importantly, knowing God more. i have so many plans, so little time. everyone's asking me to go on a 2-week stay, I WISH!&nbsp;<br /><br />heh, this is the reason why i will not go hungry in czech:<br /><br /><img height="300" alt="" width="400" src="http://i87.photobucket.com/albums/k146/jelliee/czech%20republic%202007/DSC00235.jpg"/><br />many, many food. all bought with love. =..)<br /><br />---<br />here's a sneak preview to the many beautiful pictures we took during the wedding!<br /><br /><img height="300" alt="" width="400" src="http://i87.photobucket.com/albums/k146/jelliee/nettes%20wedding/DSC00222-1.jpg"/><br />last minute decor stress was spent like this!<br /><br /><img height="400" alt="" width="300" src="http://i87.photobucket.com/albums/k146/jelliee/nettes%20wedding/DSC00220.jpg"/><br />on closer look, my face looks&nbsp;F A T. <br /><br /><img height="400" alt="" width="300" src="http://i87.photobucket.com/albums/k146/jelliee/nettes%20wedding/DSC00228.jpg"/><br />i don't do such photos most of&nbsp;the time, so i decided to try it out. haha!<br /><br />---<br />i was on my way to esplanade on sunday to attend Kumar the Queen, which was not very fantastic by the way...and you know the underground pass always have those exhibitions? you should check out the latest one, it's all by kids! as young as 4 years old... and look what i found!<br /><br /><img height="400" alt="" width="373" src="http://i87.photobucket.com/albums/k146/jelliee/cutecool/DSC00230.jpg"/><br />patrick!&nbsp;<br /><br />---<br />and during the early days of squirming, i ate 3 mooncakes in less than a week.<br /><br /><img height="300" alt="mooooooncake" width="400" src="http://i87.photobucket.com/albums/k146/jelliee/cutecool/DSC00217.jpg"/><br />this was my third. and now i wonder why i didn't finish off the fourth. hmm.<br /><br />---<br />when i'm back, i will flood the pages with photos and more photos! am not very keen on the trips to internet cafes just to transfer photo data. bahhh.<br /><br /><em>ta!<br /></em></p><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-738447257746419313?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-44080180728543462332007-10-10T02:36:00.001-07:002007-10-10T02:36:11.420-07:00goddammit. my CD-ROM died. I guess I should be happy it lasted as long as it did. Now I either have to find another crappy one from a dead computer laying around somewhere, or buy a new one. Getting a new one would mean I could get one that has a burner on it, tho. Actually, dad had better buy it for me. I'm not usually ungrateful about having to get my own things, but when Brittany got a new computer for no reason at all, and Nicole got a new laptop for "school", I kind of was upset about it. So I think he owes me. I guess its a weird form of sibling rivalry. If they get a huge expensive present just because, I should get something too goddammit. I think it also has something to do with being the oldest. You know how it is. You get none of the attention, none of the cool toys, all the responsibility/chores/homework, etc etc etc. It sucks. But you do get to be cooler and more mature for basically your entire life, so that's kind of a payoff. Still. I kind of need my computer for watching DVD's, since no one likes it when I use the TV's. Like, ever. Mom got pissed at me last Thursday for wanting to watch the Office, and she wouldn't even sit in the room with me while it was on. She went in the kitchen and started throwing a fit by cleaning dishes loudly, which I ignored, cause, um, encouraging childish shit by reacting to it is not what I do. That's Nicole's deal. I refer everyone to <a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://rokukitty.livejournal.com/587669.html">Hallie's entry</a> about her getting caught on camera. I keep looking at that second picture, and trying to see if the person in the way back with their arm in the air is me. the darkness makes it hard to tell if her shirt/jacket/etc is purple or just black x_x but the wristSTRONG bracelet is on the correct arm, AND that was about when I went out to find Hallie again. sooooo... I dunno. I can't remember if I raised my arm or not x_x stupid bad memory. I wish I'd kept my hat on after we started drinking. That would've been the end of guessing. let's just say its me for the sake of it being awesome :P<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-4408018072854346233?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-9847122778082641682007-10-10T02:18:00.001-07:002007-10-10T02:18:52.594-07:00<p>So tonight was fun.&nbsp; After getting kicked out of my room so my roomie could have some torrid affair with someone who never ended up appearing, I spent some quality time practicing my instruments and eventually going over to the PUB to play WoW on the shiny computers.&nbsp; And then my "chaperon" found out that I went over there by myself, and decided that he needed to show up.&nbsp; So he mosied on over, talked to me for a little bit and then went downstairs to play CounterStrike Source.&nbsp;&nbsp; After finally deciding that I should get off the computers, I went down to join Zach only to get coerced into playing the game too.&nbsp; And DAMN! it was fun.&nbsp; xD<br /><br />So after getting kicked out of the computer lab, because apparently we were supposed to be out of there at midnight instead of one (go figure), the chaperon fulfilled his duty by making sure I didn't walk in the dark all by myself.&nbsp; I probably should be flattered and all, but the stubborn, self-sufficient part of me just wanted to kick his ass.&nbsp; But he was entertaining on the walk home, so I guess he made up for it.&nbsp; Oh well, can't be helped.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<br /><br />Today was also the first day of playing bari for Jazz Band.&nbsp; I squeaked so much, it was ridiculous.&nbsp; So tomorrow after Marching Band, I'm going to spend a good hour or so in the practice rooms trying to make it sound good.&nbsp; I just need some time to honk out the notes.&nbsp; Hopefully, whoever is in Jazz 1 plays on the Mach, so I can snag the Yanagi for myself.&nbsp;&nbsp; Just sequester myself in a practice room, get the feel of the instrument, and hopefully I'll be good to go.&nbsp;&nbsp;A part of me really wants to be a music major, but whatev.<br /><br />Oh, on a different note:&nbsp; <em>Broken Home </em>is now undergoing its revamp.&nbsp; I'll post all the revised chapters as well as a new one (hopefully) by the end of the month.&nbsp; And the second chapter of <em>Moral Fight </em>is getting started on after that.&nbsp;&nbsp; I'm going to be slightly insane and try to do two continuous fics at one time.&nbsp; And be in two bands as well as take 18 credits.&nbsp; I'll be dead around finals, I'm calling it.&nbsp; Although I suppose the only way to avoid that is to take rather immaculate notes in class.&nbsp; And study every waking moment.&nbsp;&nbsp; xD&nbsp; Not happening.</p><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-984712277808264168?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-37389725678031719542007-10-10T01:51:00.001-07:002007-10-10T01:51:27.115-07:00<p>I should probably ought to get a computer with a proper keyboard to write this, instead of pecking it out on my iPhone, but I already bring the iPhone to bed with me, and I'm already in bed... So that's that, I suppose. Anyway, so:</p> <p>Updates.</p> <p>My life doesn't suck. I have a stable job that doesn't stress me out most of the time, my boss recently commended me on <i>not working too fast</i>, because literally every other person in the department has cost the company money while trying to exceed production goals. I decided a couple/few months ago that to avoid stress I'm better off just trying to do my best on every booking and maintain a steady pace of work; like driving, you don't really get that much ahead by driving agressively and ignoring the rules.</p> <p>I got another book edited, laid out, and set up with my new printer. I know Dragons' Truth is a few years old and has been available through Cafepress, but it's good to be doing it "right" now. You can order it through any book store, and it's listed at most online retailers along with my other three books. I've been working on getting Worth 1k --- Volume 2 together and online this month (maybe this week; I just need to finish tweeking the cover and the end matter), and then I'm going to do a big order of books to take around to all the independent booksellers in town and see about getting on store shelves. If I can get myself to actually do that, it'll be as big a step as anything else I've done re: books. For some reason, it's harder for me than writing them.</p> <p>My grandfather is sick and only getting worse. This week my younger brother, Heath, has driven him to California to see the ocean for the last time. As fast as I'm told his skeleton is being eaten by the cancer, there won't be much left of him for very long. Doesn't mean he won't just keep on keepin' on, of course. It's difficult for me, emotionally, to be aware of it all- as is to be expected, I suppose. Death and pain and loss are life, too. I expressed some of this better in W1k-v2, I think.</p> <p>I'm a terrible friend. This isn't news to my friends, but it's fairly accurate. I feel useless. Inept. Flabbergasted, at times. Friends in hospitals, friends getting surgeries, friends facing depression, friends going through life changes, trying to turn their lives around, and me? Where am I? Not there, often silent or worse: self-centered and needy. And when I think about this very deficit, my reaction tends to be to distance myself further, to move to silence, and that is a very difficult force to work against.</p> <p>Financially, I am either digging myself into a hole or investing in the future of my publishing company. Sometimes it's hard to tell whether I've simply got an expensive hobby or I'm terrible at business. Could be both, I suppose. In roughly 7 months of business so far, on $1.99 in revenue, Modern Evil Press has had a net loss of nearly $2k so far. On wait, that's just the books. With art sold and art supplies in the same period, the revenue goes up to about $186 and the loss stays about the same. The trick, I suppose, is in finding an audience for my books of at least 1,000 folks, eh? On well. Or switch to art and give up on writing.</p> <p>Giving up: now there's something I can get behind.</p><br /><br>[<a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://www.lessthanthis.com/">less than this</a>] <br /><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-3738972567803171954?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-35021670711323860992007-10-09T21:36:00.001-07:002007-10-09T21:36:17.086-07:00<p>Well here I am - &nbsp;finally. Always wanted to do this, but being home computer free - it's not easy. But I need to post, so here it is.&nbsp;At work I am dealing with a number of "interesting" issues which I won't bore people with only to say....it's 'not easy being green in a drought'.&nbsp;I can see that I am going to have to improve my on-line looks - and think of some stuff to write about.&nbsp;Perhaps I will start with how much I love rural life, as compared to the city. Anywhere I can walk to work and the gym, smell real roses, hear real bird calls (even if they are a tad noisy - especially the Corellas) and get a pizza, decent red and run a medieval event for mid-winter next year is the place for me. Come visit!!!&nbsp;Pics and prettying up soon, when I have worked it all out!!!&nbsp;<br /><br /><br /></p><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-3502167071132386099?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-21151122414275684412007-10-09T21:10:00.001-07:002007-10-09T21:10:46.543-07:00Today, I finally felt like I wasn't an idiot. I have a piece of code that has taken me a long time to get right. Actually, it still isn't right. Basically, my boss insinuated that there must be a problem with the code since the results were wrong (seems like a good idea, eh?). BUT I had tested everything I could think of. In the end, I ended up running it with smaller numbers, and it worked fine. I think I overloaded the computer's capability to store numbers accurately (and I'm using FORTRAN77). Granted, if you take 1700, square it, then multiply it by one million, it gets really large. It should still be a little better than this... but round off errors kill you with these sorts of things. In other news... House is still a great show. My friends are fun, and I'm hoping for a decent turnout tomorrow at Andy's and my discussion group tomorrow (we're reading Weight of Glory... pretty amazing 25 pages...) Oh, and I've started running. I'm taking glucosamine for my joints, and we'll see if it keeps them from being on fire. I only do like 10 minutes or so with Melissa. Don't get me wrong... I still hate running, but I'm too busy to do much else and get a decent workout.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-2115112241427568441?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-90616563730267896522007-10-09T20:57:00.001-07:002007-10-09T20:57:06.611-07:00My work computer is at it again. It refused to allow me to log on to my Yahoo account, no matter the tears or the threats of defenestration. Nothing. I mean, I could access pretty much anything else--just not my bloody email. And mysteriously, around 1.30, it had upgraded to letting me log in, but not being able to actually read my email--just the titles. It finally clared up by 3.55, as I was preparing to head home for the day. It's not the browser that's the issue--it was the same using both IE and Firefox, which means it's probably some kind of server issue. But what I'm not sure. Regardless, it's terribly inconvenient, and incompehensible.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-9061656373026789652?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-82073297905173639182007-10-09T20:28:00.001-07:002007-10-09T20:28:16.710-07:00&nbsp;Today was insane. I had a lame day of work then I was on my way home. I was at the stop signs for Minerva and Grove when this car went when I started to go. The stupid Jeep got in front of me and I beeped. Then they decided to be dicks and started spinning the tires and making all this smoke then started going in reverse trying to hit me and moving forward really quick and stopping. I just dealt with it figuring they are just idiots with too much time on their hands, until they did that all the way down Minerva, Main St, and my street. It literally took me ten minutes to get to my house when from that point it would take me 20 seconds. I got annoyed and pulled in my driveway and they drove a little down the street turned around and started racing back. I got scared so I pulled back out and drove away. Yet they caught up with me down Fletcher and started racing forward towards straight ahead missing my car by a foot barely... I started getting nervous they were chasing me and swerving and trying to hit me while opening their car doors and shouting things I couldn't hear and being complete assholes. So I got so scared I raced home and ran in my house. I was the only one home, and then they kept driving by making rounds of my block every minute. I got so scared I tried to call the police but the regluar number was so confusing. Then I called TK trying to find Craig and since TK lives right by me I figured maybe he could help. He was just like HANG UP and call 911. I was so nervous because they kept stopping in front of my house and getting out and getting in a driving away and since I was the only one home, I did. I was like hysterical for some reason, because I'm just a nervous wreck like that. The police came and sent out search cars and I haven't seen that Jeep since. But it just made me so nervous since I had NO clue who they were and they knew where I lived. I just feel so paranoid being home now and worrying they are going to get into my house or just completely ruin my car. It makes me angry that there was no motive behind this, and this all had to happen just because some idiots got a rise out of my frustration. If I ever see that car again, I will be tempted to do something to it, I'm not even joking. I hope someone slashes their tires. TK and his Mom are so awesome though they came over and helped and then my Mom came home. I am very grateful, because I don't know what would have happened if those people in the Jeep would have broken into my house. Oh and my computer has a disgusting virus so I am getting it completely wiped out tomorrow night.... yay... ... .<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-8207329790517363918?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-74522367644978777722007-10-09T20:10:00.001-07:002007-10-09T20:10:39.476-07:00Well, I seem to be abusing my mom's new digital camera... but I don't care! *insert evil laugh here*. - Here we have Jorgito with one of his <strike>girl</strike>friends dressed with a typical chilean costume from the chilean island of Chiloé. He had lost already the typical hat and socks, made with a thick, scratchy whool (in a sunny day)... and the school act hadn't even began. He was so distracted, looking for my sister and me while dancing "El pavo". <a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://pics.livejournal.com/wizli/pic/00007h9d/"><img src="http://pics.livejournal.com/wizli/pic/00007h9d/s320x240" width="320" height="240" border='0'/></a> Hahaha! *snorts*, I just thought he looked like Han Solo, with his white shirt and sleveless jacket... <strike>and cocky attitude.</strike> - This is an old picture but he looks cuuute!. <a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://pics.livejournal.com/wizli/pic/00003csk/"><img src="http://pics.livejournal.com/wizli/pic/00003csk/s320x240" width="320" height="240" border='0'/></a> - Jorgito eating cotton-candy while enjoying our national festivities at the "fondas", during september. And where was his mother, you may ask?. Well, I was in sick bed, suffering a terrible stomach ache with a 38,5°C fever... So unfair, I wanted to go too!. <a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://pics.livejournal.com/wizli/pic/00006ydz/"><img src="http://pics.livejournal.com/wizli/pic/00006ydz/s320x240" width="320" height="240" border='0'/></a> - This one I took it last sunday, eating in our backyard. I hadn't discovered how to use the camera yet, it looks so dark... <a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://pics.livejournal.com/wizli/pic/0000gf7t/"><img src="http://pics.livejournal.com/wizli/pic/0000gf7t/s320x240" width="320" height="240" border='0'/></a> I have two notebooks and a folder in my computer full of drabbles, ficlets and crazy ideas for fics in several fandoms. What do I do with them?. Maybe I'll start a little fic journal, if nothing else it can be useful to improve my english writing <i>skillz</i>... Ideas for a name?.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-7452236764497877772?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-61127432356838870882007-10-09T19:51:00.001-07:002007-10-09T19:51:00.216-07:00<div class="enclosure enclosure-center enclosure-auto embed-enclosure" style="text-align:center;"><br /><div class="enclosure-inner" style="width:420px;"> <div class="enclosure-list"> <div class="enclosure-item embed-asset last"> <div class="enclosure-embed"> </div> <div class="enclosure-meta"> <div class="enclosure-asset-name"></div> </div> </div> </div><br /></div><br /></div> <div><br /></div><br /><p>Originally posted on <a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://patty.vox.com/library/post/computer-corner-from-comedycom.html">patty.vox.com</a></p><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-6112743235683887088?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-82116537387517636022007-10-09T19:28:00.001-07:002007-10-09T19:28:26.633-07:00Wow, I seriously thought today was the eight of <span style="font-weight:bold;">October</span>. T^T. How the days go by without one noticing it.<br /> <br /> I had loads of fun today. Until 3:30-ish pm... lemmie tell you, lets start. <br /> <br /> I didn't go to <span style="font-weight:bold;">school</span> today because the brakes on the car were pretty bad. So I woke up at around 11am, because Amber told me last night that we couldn't meet up at 12pm as we originally planned because her mom had to go somewhere and she was going with her. We said, okay then 1:30pm it is. So I woke up at 11am, getting ready and stuff. Then my dad tells me that I bought him the WRONG brakes yesterday (when he told me the ones to get.) so I had to get him the other ones since he <span style="font-weight:bold;">lost</span> the receipt. sigh. When I got to the auto place, I noticed that I was still in my <b>pjs</b>. *what an embarrassment* <br /> <br /> When I got back home, I got ready as quickly as I could. Then I got distracted because I was talking to Heather <span style="font-weight:bold;">online</span>, and I like talking to her and stuffs. but uhm, yeah, I left like around 12-something-ish. ehehe. and I met up with her at the corner of her street. Yesterday I bought her a <b style="color:rgb(102, 51, 0);">Hershy's Chocolate Bar</b>. and I gave that to her. She was happy! We went inside, I said hello to her mom, and we went in her room to talk for a bit and stuffs. We kissed a few. Then we went in her living room and we were watching many videos on her computer. ehehe <b>KAT-TUN</b>. lolol. We watched tons of videos trying to pass the time. Because we were suppose to meet up with Amber. I called her twice to make sure everything was in order, and she wasn't home. We thought that she already took the bus and came here but forgot where Heather or I lived, so we walked to <span style="font-weight:bold;">Valley farms</span> to check and she wasnt there, then the <b>THIRD</b> time I tried calling her, Amber says that she was trying to call me, and if I called her like 5 minutes before, she could have caught the bus and came to see us! This was around 3 o' clock. Heather and I sighed a lot. Now we have to think of a time and place for all three of us to hang out next. Though we decided on a date, we don't know if we can do it on that date, because someone is getting a new job, and another person is trying to figure out if she can skip school, ehehe&nbsp; guess who. lolol. <br /> <br /> Anyway, after that was said and done, we walked back to Heather's house and the sky was looking pretty bad, and I thought I heard thunder, but it was a motorcycle. I almost had a <span style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(255, 0, 0);">heart attack</span>. I don't like thunder. When we got back to her house, I was having a paranoid attack! I was so worried for the thunder that I kind of wanted to go home. I know, I'm a big baby. SO WHAT! I am <span style="color:rgb(255, 255, 102);">terrified</span> of <span style="color:rgb(255, 153, 102);">thunder</span>, everyone is scared of something you know. Well I was shaking pretty bad so I left. not before giving her a kiss. ^<span style="color:rgb(255, 204, 204);">////</span>^. I think I made her a bit sad that I was leaving, but thunder... T^T. *cry cry* I will make it up to you! &lt;333.<br /> <br /> When I was walking back home, it started to rain REALLY HARD! I got stuck under a tree! and I was stranded there for a long while, before and old lady was yelling at me and kicked me out of her property. I called my dad to pick me up. the worst experience of my life. I dont ever want to leave the house when someone tells me its going to thunder (even though it doesnt look it) ever again. (thanks for the heads up Amber.) And because of the thunder storm, I didnt have Internet till like 9 o' clock pm. and I'm trying to post this as fast as I can before it goes out again. <br /> <br /> Plus I'm downloading this kdrama (<span style="font-weight:bold;">K</span>orean <span style="font-weight:bold;">Drama</span>) called "<span style="font-weight:bold;">18 vs. 29</span>." From what I read it sounds really good, and anyone who knows me knows that I love dramas. ehehe, especially kdramas, (but I am starting to love the jdramas too!) lmao, here is the synopsis of "<span style="font-weight:bold;">18 vs. 29</span>":<br /> <br /> <div style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-weight:bold;">*~18 vs. 29~*</span><br /> </div> <br /> <div style="text-align:center;"><img alt="" style="font-weight:bold;" src="http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c6/tsubasa_pc/18vs29.jpg"/><br /> </div> <br /> "<span style="font-style:italic;">Yoo Hye-chan, 29, reverts mentally to an 18-year-old girl after having a car accident. As she recovers her memory and the relationship with her husband, Kang Sang-yeong, she goes through many hilarious and heart-moving moments. </span><br style="font-style:italic;"/> <br style="font-style:italic;"/> <span style="font-style:italic;">Hye-chan, who was a beauty queen in high school, marries her former classmate Kang Bong-man. In 2005, she turns 29. But after a fierce fight with her husband, she heads to court to file for divorce, unable to control her rage anymore. On her way to court, her car clashes with a truck, and as a result she develops amnesia. She only remembers herself as a senior high schooler, when she was sassy and outgoing, and popular with her peers. As her memory reverts to her adolescent years, she suddenly becomes crazy about the dance group "Seo Tae Ji and Kids," which was popular with teenagers back in the ‘90s. While looking strong on the surface, deep inside she is soft-hearted and feeble. She likes Jane Campion's movie "Piano" a lot. Although Kang Bong-man, nicknamed "Ice Prince," is the ideal of every girl in Hye-chan's school, she regards him as shallow. The guy she really likes is her senior, Jeong Shi-woo. </span><br style="font-style:italic;"/> <br style="font-style:italic;"/> <span style="font-style:italic;">But in reality, Hye-chan's husband is Kang Bong-man, whom she despised so much in high school. He changes his name to Kang Sang-yeong when he becomes an actor. In the latter part of the drama, Hye-chan recovers her memory and pursues her dream of becoming a film director. When Hye-chan loses her memory, Sang-yeong becomes preoccupied with mending their shattered relationship. He collects all the messages they had exchanged in the past to help her remember who he is.</span> (<span style="font-weight:bold;">http://wiki.d-addicts.com</span>)"<br /> <br /> I think it sounds pretty cool! I cant wait till it finishes downloading, I'm downloading three episodes already. When the whole thing is finished, I'll start to watch it.<br /> <br /> I fell in love with the Jrock band, "<span style="font-weight:bold;">Rentrer en soi</span>." omfg, I love them so much! They're top three now in my top five! And I just started listening to them on Saturday! ehehehe, (Thanks Heather) lolol. I love their song "<span style="font-weight:bold;">JUST MAD PAIN</span>" I was listening to it non stop, on repeat, for three hours! &lt;333.<br /> <br /> And now I'm talking to <span style="font-weight:bold;color:rgb(51, 255, 51);">Tetsuya</span>, my soul mate! &lt;33333<br /> <br /> Okies, before my internet goes out again. I'm going to post this. Because I have a feeling it will go out. <br /> <br /> I <span style="color:rgb(255, 102, 102);">&lt;3</span> you and <span style="font-weight:bold;">ONLY</span> you!!! ehehe lol ^<span style="color:rgb(255, 204, 204);">////////</span>^<br /> <br /> Ja ne.<br /> <br /> ~Reita-kun, Reitafangirl, Rei-chan <div style="text-align:left;"> </div> <br /> [Edit]<br /> <br /> omg omg omg! I was watching the news, and I saw a Japanese guy talking! They said his name! "Ryuichi Kaneko" omfg omfg omfg he was amazingly hott!!! &lt;33 okay that is all, I'm happy now. I'm not a stalker, I'm not crazy! What are you talking about?! *cough cough cough* ehehe lolol ^^;;<br /> <br /> [/Edit]<br /> <br /> Ja ne.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-8211653738751763602?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-36625624374096168782007-10-09T19:14:00.001-07:002007-10-09T19:14:57.441-07:00The past two days have been surprisingly less stressful than the past few weeks. I have 9 official days of school left, roughly 3 of which I will just be observing and not teaching, and things have already started winding down with planning, grading, etc. Next week is shortened because it is CNHS's fall break, so I only have to survive three days and then I'm driving up to Chicago on Thursday to visit Chris! I'm so, so, so pumped about that. We kept going back and forth on whether he would come here or I would go there but I thought it'd be nice to get a change of scenery; not to mention that I can get up there sooner than he'd get here, so we can see each other on Thursday and Friday, even if it's just in the evenings after he gets off work. And since I'd just be sitting around my apartment here reading, watching tv, and messing around on the computer, why not do it there instead? So killing time during the day won't be too bad, and we'll still have the whole rest of the weekend to go into the city and what not. We're going to try to switch things up this time and do some different things - maybe go to a museum or the aquarium, see a movie, have Thai or pizza - instead of our usual shopping trip on Michigan and dinner at the Grand Lux. OOH! I just had a brilliant idea! Chris and I are going to the zoo. It's free, it's within walking distance from his place, and there's penguins. It's settled. :)<br />Anyway, as you can see, I'm clearly in a fantastic mood, and my only hope is that I can maintain this for the next couple of weeks until student teaching is over. In the meantime, the plan for the week is as follows... I desparately need to do laundry - everything from clothes to towels to bedding, so I have two fat rolls of quarters here at my disposal, and all I need is the motivation to start it. I would have started tonight if my doctor's appointment hadn't run so late, but that was also something that really needed to be done, so I'm glad it's out of the way. Right now, I'm thinking I'd just like to stay home on Friday and rest since I'm working all day Saturday at Old Navy, but if plans materialize I'm open to suggestions. Saturday night I am sure I will want to just chill and catch up on tv, maybe do some work if I have to, and presumably I have Sunday off so that will be my grading/planning day if needed. I'm getting very anxious to start some "fun" reading, but I don't want to get ahead of myself, so I think it'll be another week or so before I do any. But I'd really like to squeeze in a book or even two before NaNo starts, if nothing else to jumpstart my brain with ideas. Right now I'm still pretty clueless about what I want to write, but leaning towards something of the chick-lit variety. We'll see. I'm hoping once my brain isn't otherwise consumed by teaching related stuff, something will come to me. On that note, I should probably get to bed shortly so I can be somewhat rested and ready to go for tomorrow. Only three more days until the weekend! Power through, everyone. :)<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-3662562437409616878?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-3217281673761804872007-10-09T18:52:00.001-07:002007-10-09T18:52:19.699-07:00I spent way, waay too much time on the cell phone today with tech support. We were trying to set up the wireless router (which, by the way, was working fine before we called). I spent so much time that the cell phone ran out of juice. Not going to go into details - it was a comedy of errors - but eventually things got resolved. If only I'd had ' work number... Things now work. The proof? I'm typing this on our network, in the kitchen.<br /><i>On the brand new laptop!</i> <b>What I'm reading:</b> Paul Kearney, <cite>Hawkwood's Voyage</cite><p><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-321728167376180487?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-87093303673793987022007-10-09T18:40:00.001-07:002007-10-09T18:40:42.870-07:00Please, I implore you with all my heart and soul. CTS, please stay away from me. My hands and arms are killing me. Picking up and playing my DS kills me. If I had a regular desktop keyboard, it would kill me too. Thank God I have a laptop. (My hands lie relatively flat as I type with it.)<br /><br />I don't want to end up getting surgery on my hands. I don't want to be a cripple. So please... CTS, leave me, and never look back.<br /><br />Anyway, I think I need to get braces for my wrists/arms. Because I'm afraid that if I don't, they'll just end up hurting so bad I'll be screwed over. Sometimes my fingertips get a little numb for no reason, or, like last night, my (left) arm hurt so bad I couldn't sleep for more than an hour. And I was actually tired, too.<br /><br />On the plus side, I got an awesome concritical review (uh...okay, so it's not a word? Who cares!) from someone. They helped me out SO much. <br />On another plus side (well, for me, probably not for any of you, haha!), I wrote another oneshot.<br /><br /><a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3828148/1/The_Best_Kind_of_Poetry">The Best Kind of Poetry</a> - [Fire Emblem 7] Hector watches Lyndis. Serra, of course, can't stay out of it, and intervenes, hoping to convince Hector to make a move. [OneShot][Giftfic][LynHector]<br /><br />Now I've got to go to bed, even though I don't want to go to work tomorrow anyway (I have a feeling it'll be a bad, bad day). <br /><br />I'll just keep telling myself... <span style="font-style:italic;">I love my job. I love my job. I love my job.</span>&nbsp; Maybe eventually I'll believe it.<br /><br />----------<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-8709330367379398702?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-40211399055660546142007-10-09T18:30:00.001-07:002007-10-09T18:30:06.454-07:00so lately there has been this group of people who like to come to my school and set up anti-abortion protests. they have HUGE posters of aborted fetuses (feti? haha, i dunno) that are all gross and they have guys standing one little platforms yelling about how wrong abortion is and how god hates it and everyone who get an abort is a sinner. they came back today. it was like the THIRD time in a i would say 4 or 5 week period. i mean, i am allllll about free speech. yes, good. its your constituional right. go for it. but SERIOUSLY do you really need GIANT posters of gross aborted fetuses? do you need to be YELLING about how anyone is a sinner that gets an abortion? this time it was more intese tho. there were cops here and one guy was video taping it! i think he might have been from a local news station, not sure tho. it lasted 5 HOURS. yeah, it was nuts. and so i got reallllly worked up because i hate people that feel they have to PUSH their beliefs on you. yes, i know maybe you could say they were just "informing" us, but thats not how it felt. it felt forced. usually i dont get all political because usually i dont care BUT as a girl i feel like i really do care about this. its a woman's choice. not the governments. yes, i know people abuse it and they don't know how to control themselves, but why do they have to fuck it up for the people who really need one? and where they were holding the protest was literally 5 feet from the little playground outside the education building. there were little kids running around and there are HUGE posters of gross-ness. not cool, man. "are you locked and loaded, officer?" "i'm a tiger ready to pounce, taylor." and.... "i think he said, stop the noodle skews." hahahaha i wish our protest was more like that one. that way i wouldn't get so MAD about it. anyway, moving on.... so i haven't really seen season 6 because i dont own it. i mean, i saw it when it was on new on the WB and i occasionally see part of one on ABC family, but i would say im not an expert on that season. anyway, ABC family is on season 6 now (the second ep i think, "fight face") and i watched the whole thing today and i forgot how GOOD it was! luke and lorelai are so damn cute! kinda made me sad tho. i miss them :( i love the "hole" part. she can't form complete sentences. oh oh oh and i love when luke is all like gonna take TJ out to a baseball game but hang him on the car ride there. ohhh and before that when he's like "him. him. kill..." i was like YES! I SAW THAT TOO! haha&lt;3 him!! and then they're like, "we need tarp. plywood. staple gun. rope." "you're not garroting TJ." "ok, skip the rope." i have nooooo idea if that how you spell that. i just sounded it out. haha. but the part with rory is so sad. i hate that lorelai and rory had that fight. hate it hate it hate it. makes me mad anytime i see it. :( but the LL stuff made me soooo happy! "come down here so i can kiss you!" awww i love it&lt;3 ok, enough rambling for now. i guess i should....do homework? shower? stay on the computer? we have a winner ;)<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-4021139905566054614?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-8791516584520970082007-10-09T18:10:00.001-07:002007-10-09T18:10:02.828-07:00<small>22:31 09.10.2007</small><br> <b><a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://community.livejournal.com/rabota_il/3046844.html">Job Title :APPLICATION ENGINEER (1021)</a></b><br> About the Job: <br />Division: CPD – FTTH BU<br />Location: HERZELIA, ISRAEL<br />PMC-Sierra’s FTTH (Fiber-To-The-Home) division was formed through the acquisition of Israeli start-up Passave in April 2006. We are the world leader in semiconductor for FTTH, having shipped more than 3 Million devices for Customer Premise Equipment (CPE) and central Office (CO). We are developing next generation SoCs for the EPON and GPON standards in advanced process nodes, running cutting-edge embedded software, and accompanied by state-of-the-art mixed-signal technology.<br />Responsibilities:<br />• Manage Intl accounts of the BU from the technical perspective.<br />• Work closely with R&D to resolve issue coming from customer.<br />• Work closely with Product management group to define features.<br />• Support customers on-site<br />• Write technical material<br />• Perform demos <br />Qualifications: <br />Years of Experience: 2 years <br />Education: B.Sc. Electrical Engineering or B.Sc in Computer Science<br />Requirements:<br />• Experience in customer facing rules – Pre/Post Sales or MKT.<br />• Experience in communication components / protocols /equipment<br />• Fluent in Hebrew/English <br />• Willingness to travel<br />• Experience in working in an Intl company –An advantage<br />• R&D experience - An advantage<br />About PMC-Sierra: <br />PMC-SierraTM is a leading provider of broadband communications and storage semiconductors for enterprise, access, metro, storage, wireless infrastructure, laser printers and customer premises equipment. The company offers worldwide technical and sales support, including a network of offices throughout North America, Europe and Asia. The company is publicly traded on the NASDAQ Stock Market under the PMCS symbol and is included in the S&P 500 Index.<br /><br />For more information, visit www.pmc-sierra.com. <br clear="all"> <p></p><small><a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://community.livejournal.com/rabota_il/3046844.html">read more</a> at <a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://community.livejournal.com/rabota_il/">Поиск работы в Израиле</a></small><div align="right"><small><a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://hiero.ru/rss2lj/">rss2lj</a></small></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-879151658452097008?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-65230877136437030472007-10-09T17:45:00.001-07:002007-10-09T17:45:57.570-07:00I was reading some of my old entries and came across a few things: First: Someone paid for me to go to Mexico. wow. that still hasn't sunk it. i am so THANKFUL! Second: The semester that I slept in a closet without heat and had a hammock hanging from the ceiling at the international house. This past week was hard. I am starting to admit to myself that I am slightly suicidal. "Hi my name is Kat and I have problems." *I'm sure to most of you this isn't a shock I have to come to terms, i have put a ton of effort into proving my mental stability to myself, i think it is a pride thing.* For a leadership class I had to think about my 5 year plan. As usual I am flippant and relaxed about the direction of my life. It comes down to Gods desires for my life, one step at a time. Little indicators these past two weeks have been pointing out Gods desire to fulfill a purpose in each of us, including me. I had this image of me as a grandmother. I felt guilty wanting it so bad, who am I to deserve tomorrow. I had never thought of myself as growing old, ever. Maybe this is why i will act like the eternal peter pan. Ever since my childhood i have no trust in the future because tomorrow, hell the next two seconds of my life are precious and real. I realized I never settle on a plan because I never knew if i would make it past tomorrow. As most of you know I beleive in that higher being that some of us like to curse about. A girl named Crystal was put in my path, she is the one with the two children that I love to play with. She had an interesting life needless to say and is going to Africa in Dec to provide solar powered computers to the villages so they can have access to the largest library in the world as well as provide their own information. She is an Asheville hippie who never believed in God until she went to Africa and found the man God wanted her to be with and literally 'saw the light' in a dream calling her to be a missionary. *sounds crazy but honestly she is a fantastic friend and mother* I am rambling on about her because she is also bipolar and was institutionalized at the age of eleven for trying to commit suicide everyday *verbally physically abusive relationships entire younger life* I don't think it was coincidence we met. She gives me hope. just like the hope and joy i leech from every person i come in contact with, geez the beauty that i have come across. i can't romanticize all of you enough for you to understand. one of my livejournal pals actually called me 'a light of the world' I reflect what is sent to me. i receive guilty pleasure with every smile, every vulnerable laugh, dance, life that comes out of others. The hammock in a closet at International house represents a past that doesn't just consist of hopelessness but also adventures and moments of complete deep richness, reality. I'm writing this with an enormous plate of rice and salmon sitting beside me, tears running down my face, and the rumble of engines driving down Tulane Ave to Layola. Billie Holiday just came on and I have a conceptual framework to write. This calls for hot chocolate with a pinch of chili and then perhaps a little of The other Boelyn before sleep.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-6523087713643703047?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-27200905188171229222007-10-09T17:22:00.001-07:002007-10-09T17:22:26.895-07:001. What is more difficult for you, looking into someones eyes when you are telling someone how you feel, or looking into someones eyes when they are telling you how they feel? both i guess. it all depends on if the feelings are good or bad. 2. Think of the last time you were REALLY angry. Why were you angry? yesterday. i was just so stressed about everything and working out usually helps but i didn't. 3. You are on a flight from Honolulu to Chicago non-stop. There is a fire in the back of the plane. You get enough time to make ONE phone call. Who would you call? it depends who was with me on the flight, friends, family, was i by myself? if i was by myself i'd call my parents. 4. You are at the doctor's office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. (1) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? (2) What do you do with your remaining days? (3) Would you be afraid? i would tell people. i'd probably try and do as much as possible. i'd be very afraid but there wouldn't be anything i could do. 5. You can have one of the following two things- trust/love. Which do you choose? they go hand in hand. 6. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. Do you save the dog? an animal is more important 7. You are unfaithful to your boyfriend/girlfriend. i'd tell them. they'd deserve to know. 8. If you could go back and be with your first love, would you? i guess there is a reason they're not apart of my life now. 9. Think of the last person who you know that died. You have the chance to give them 1 hour of life back, but you have to give one year of your life. Do you do it? i would. 10. Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend? no. i'm a bitch. 12. Your boss tells your co-worker that they have to let them go because of work shortage, and they are the newest employee. You have been there much longer. Your co-worker has a family to support and no other means of income. Do you go to your boss and offer to leave the company? i'd have to find another job just like they would. i guess i would help them look for a job. 13. When was the last time you told someone HONESTLY how you feel? today. 14. What would be harder for you, to tell someone you love them or tell them you hate them? it depends on the context. if it's joking or serious. i told my parents i hated them once and it was one of the worst things i've ever done because they really took it to heart. but people throw the words hate love around like it's nothing 15. What do you think would be/is the hardest thing for you to give<br />up? i think the hardest thing i've ever given up was childhood, no seriously, leaving the place you spent your whole life and coming to a totally new place and having to create a new life for yourself is really hard 16. Excluding family love, when was the last time you told someone you love them? probably peter god knows when 17. If you had to go back in time and change one thing, what would it be? well recently i'd go back and change sunday 18. Imagine. It is a dark night, you are alone, it is raining outside. What are you doing? sitting on the computer, sleeping, watching tv 19. Would you give a homeless person CPR if they were dying? i don't know how to give cpr 20. If you could do anything OR wish anything, what would it be? true happiness, however it is<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-2720090518817122922?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-61013087983203671412007-10-09T16:58:00.001-07:002007-10-09T16:58:06.040-07:00<p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">Starting my first rotation I was apprehensive, but these nerves soon vanished once I met my SBTE.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>She made me realize and learn that third grade does not need to be fear because of the start of standardized test. While observing her I noticed that by making the lesson exciting and providing numerous manipulative, the students are able to grab the concepts being taught. When I had to teach my lessons I followed her footsteps. By doing so I was able to keep the students hooked, and they master my given objective. As I previously mentioned in my first reflective journal I was worried about my technology professional attribute. However, I now feel confident implementing technology in the classroom. In this rotation I let the students use my digital camera, I used a promethean board to teach a writing lesson, and I uploaded documents to the computer to be transfer to the television. I learned helpful techniques to navigate the internet when looking for educational resources. For several of my lessons I employed those sites to help teach my lessons which helped to assist the students in grasping the concepts more easily. Classroom management was a problem I faced at the beginning. The students saw me as a friend, and felt they did not have to always behave their best. To work through this situation I worked on my teacher voice, to give a firmer indication to myself. I also used some of my teacher strategies, as in the “stop and freeze” method. By using strategies my students were used to they then had an easier time following my instructions. I am going to continue to work on my classroom management skills to improve my overall teaching capabilities. A goal of mine is to have a relationship with the students where they feel that I am a friend and there for them, but that they also realize I am their teacher. Another learning goal of mine is to ask higher order thinking questions. I always make a point to make sure my lessons does not go over my students head, but sometimes I forget to challenge them more. I will continue to reflect on myself regularly to see what worked, what bombed, and what could be changed. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"> </p><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-6101308798320367141?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-30170973816760951612007-10-09T16:39:00.001-07:002007-10-09T16:39:03.791-07:00<form target="_blank" action='http://www.kwiz.biz/simplesurveys/do-survey.php' method='post'><table border=1 cellspacing=0><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Marital Status]</td><td align=left><b>In a relationship, but not married</b><input type='hidden' name='question1' value='%5BMarital+Status%5D'><input type='hidden' name='type1' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Shoe size]</td><td align=left><b>9 1/2 - 10 1/2</b><input type='hidden' name='question2' value='%5BShoe+size%5D'><input type='hidden' name='type2' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Parents still together]</td><td align=left><b>Yes</b><input type='hidden' name='question3' value='%5BParents+still+together%5D'><input type='hidden' name='type3' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Siblings]</td><td align=left><b>Two</b><input type='hidden' name='question4' value='%5BSiblings%5D'><input type='hidden' name='type4' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Pets]</td><td align=left><b>Technically three</b><input type='hidden' name='question5' value='%5BPets%5D'><input type='hidden' name='type5' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=center colspan=2><b><i>FAVORITES</i></b><input type='hidden' name='question6' value='FAVORITES'><input type='hidden' name='type6' value='2'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Color]</td><td align=left><b>Take a while guess.</b><input type='hidden' name='question7' value='%5BColor%5D'><input type='hidden' name='type7' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Number]</td><td align=left><b>80</b><input type='hidden' name='question8' value='%5BNumber%5D'><input type='hidden' name='type8' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Animal] </td><td align=left><b>Wolf</b><input type='hidden' name='question9' value='%5BAnimal%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type9' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Drinks] </td><td align=left><b>Coke, a high ball, a scotch on the rocks</b><input type='hidden' name='question10' value='%5BDrinks%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type10' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Soda] </td><td align=left><b>Coke</b><input type='hidden' name='question11' value='%5BSoda%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type11' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Book] </td><td align=left><b>Heroes Die</b><input type='hidden' name='question12' value='%5BBook%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type12' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Flower] </td><td align=left><b>Rose</b><input type='hidden' name='question13' value='%5BFlower%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type13' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=center colspan=2><b><i>DO YOU</i></b><input type='hidden' name='question14' value='DO+YOU'><input type='hidden' name='type14' value='2'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Color your hair?] </td><td align=left><b>Nope</b><input type='hidden' name='question15' value='%5BColor+your+hair%3F%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type15' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Twirl your hair?] </td><td align=left><b>I did when I had hair long enough</b><input type='hidden' name='question16' value='%5BTwirl+your+hair%3F%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type16' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Have tattoos?] </td><td align=left><b>Not yet</b><input type='hidden' name='question17' value='%5BHave+tattoos%3F%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type17' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Have Piercings?] </td><td align=left><b>Nope</b><input type='hidden' name='question18' value='%5BHave+Piercings%3F%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type18' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Cheat on tests/homework?] </td><td align=left><b>No</b><input type='hidden' name='question19' value='%5BCheat+on+tests%2Fhomework%3F%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type19' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Drink/Smoke?] </td><td align=left><b>Yes to both but only once every few months on the second</b><input type='hidden' name='question20' value='%5BDrink%2FSmoke%3F%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type20' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Like roller coasters?] </td><td align=left><b>Love 'em</b><input type='hidden' name='question21' value='%5BLike+roller+coasters%3F%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type21' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Wish you could live somewhere else?] </td><td align=left><b>No</b><input type='hidden' name='question22' value='%5BWish+you+could+live+somewhere+else%3F%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type22' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Want more piercings?] </td><td align=left><b>No</b><input type='hidden' name='question23' value='%5BWant+more+piercings%3F%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type23' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right> [Like cleaning?] </td><td align=left><b>Yes, actually</b><input type='hidden' name='question24' value='+%5BLike+cleaning%3F%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type24' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Write in cursive or print?] </td><td align=left><b>Print</b><input type='hidden' name='question25' value='%5BWrite+in+cursive+or+print%3F%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type25' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Own a web cam?] </td><td align=left><b>Yes</b><input type='hidden' name='question26' value='%5BOwn+a+web+cam%3F%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type26' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Know how to drive?] </td><td align=left><b>Yes</b><input type='hidden' name='question27' value='%5BKnow+how+to+drive%3F%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type27' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Own a cell phone?] </td><td align=left><b>Yes</b><input type='hidden' name='question28' value='%5BOwn+a+cell+phone%3F%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type28' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Ever get off the damn computer?] </td><td align=left><b>Yes</b><input type='hidden' name='question29' value='%5BEver+get+off+the+damn+computer%3F%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type29' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=center colspan=2><b><i>HAVE U EVER </i></b><input type='hidden' name='question30' value='HAVE+U+EVER+'><input type='hidden' name='type30' value='2'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Been in a fist fight?] </td><td align=left><b>Yes</b><input type='hidden' name='question31' value='%5BBeen+in+a+fist+fight%3F%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type31' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Considered a life of crime?] </td><td align=left><b>Yes, and then laughed and laughed and laughed</b><input type='hidden' name='question32' value='%5BConsidered+a+life+of+crime%3F%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type32' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Considered being a hooker?] </td><td align=left><b>Yes, and then laughed and laughed and laughed</b><input type='hidden' name='question33' value='%5BConsidered+being+a+hooker%3F%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type33' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Lied to someone?] </td><td align=left><b>Unfortunately yes</b><input type='hidden' name='question34' value='%5BLied+to+someone%3F%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type34' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Been in love?] </td><td align=left><b>I believe so</b><input type='hidden' name='question35' value='%5BBeen+in+love%3F%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type35' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Made out with JUST a friend?] </td><td align=left><b>Uh huh</b><input type='hidden' name='question36' value='%5BMade+out+with+JUST+a+friend%3F%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type36' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Been in lust?] </td><td align=left><b>Oh yeah</b><input type='hidden' name='question37' value='%5BBeen+in+lust%3F%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type37' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Used someone] </td><td align=left><b>Yes</b><input type='hidden' name='question38' value='%5BUsed+someone%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type38' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Been used?] </td><td align=left><b>Yes</b><input type='hidden' name='question39' value='%5BBeen+used%3F%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type39' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Been cheated on?] </td><td align=left><b>Not that I can prove but possibly.</b><input type='hidden' name='question40' value='%5BBeen+cheated+on%3F%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type40' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Kicked someone in the nuts?] </td><td align=left><b>Yes (with prejudice)</b><input type='hidden' name='question41' value='%5BKicked+someone+in+the+nuts%3F%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type41' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Stolen anything?] </td><td align=left><b>Yes, when I was much younger and far more stupid</b><input type='hidden' name='question42' value='%5BStolen+anything%3F%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type42' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Held a gun] </td><td align=left><b>Yes</b><input type='hidden' name='question43' value='%5BHeld+a+gun%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type43' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=center colspan=2><b><i>CURRENTS </i></b><input type='hidden' name='question44' value='CURRENTS+'><input type='hidden' name='type44' value='2'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Current clothing] </td><td align=left><b>Slack, white button up shirt, gold tie</b><input type='hidden' name='question45' value='%5BCurrent+clothing%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type45' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Current mood] </td><td align=left><b>Contemplative</b><input type='hidden' name='question46' value='%5BCurrent+mood%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type46' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Current taste] </td><td align=left><b>*licks self* Long pig?</b><input type='hidden' name='question47' value='%5BCurrent+taste%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type47' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[What you currently smell like] </td><td align=left><b>*sniffs self* Long pig?</b><input type='hidden' name='question48' value='%5BWhat+you+currently+smell+like%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type48' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Current hair] </td><td align=left><b>...short? Styled? WHAT'S THE RIGHT ANSWER?!</b><input type='hidden' name='question49' value='%5BCurrent+hair%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type49' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Current thing I ought to be doing] </td><td align=left><b>Anything else</b><input type='hidden' name='question50' value='%5BCurrent+thing+I+ought+to+be+doing%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type50' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Current cd in stereo] </td><td align=left><b>Audioslavex2, Pink Floyd, Covenant</b><input type='hidden' name='question51' value='%5BCurrent+cd+in+stereo%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type51' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Last book you read] </td><td align=left><b>The House of Chains</b><input type='hidden' name='question52' value='%5BLast+book+you+read%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type52' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Last movie you saw] </td><td align=left><b>Immortal Beloved</b><input type='hidden' name='question53' value='%5BLast+movie+you+saw%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type53' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Last thing you ate] </td><td align=left><b>Steak </b><input type='hidden' name='question54' value='%5BLast+thing+you+ate%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type54' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Last person you talked to on the phone] </td><td align=left><b>A candidate for a job interview</b><input type='hidden' name='question55' value='%5BLast+person+you+talked+to+on+the+phone%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type55' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Do drugs?] </td><td align=left><b>Fuck. No.</b><input type='hidden' name='question56' value='%5BDo+drugs%3F%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type56' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Believe there is life on other planets?] </td><td align=left><b>Sure, statstically possible.</b><input type='hidden' name='question57' value='%5BBelieve+there+is+life+on+other+planets%3F%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type57' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>Remember your first love?] </td><td align=left><b>Yes, fondly.</b><input type='hidden' name='question58' value='Remember+your+first+love%3F%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type58' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Still love him/her?] </td><td align=left><b>Yes, in a way.</b><input type='hidden' name='question59' value='%5BStill+love+him%2Fher%3F%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type59' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Read the newspaper?] </td><td align=left><b>Occassionally.</b><input type='hidden' name='question60' value='%5BRead+the+newspaper%3F%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type60' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Have any gay or lesbian friends?] </td><td align=left><b>Proud of 'em.</b><input type='hidden' name='question61' value='%5BHave+any+gay+or+lesbian+friends%3F%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type61' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Believe in miracles?] </td><td align=left><b>I'm still alive, aren't I?</b><input type='hidden' name='question62' value='%5BBelieve+in+miracles%3F%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type62' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Do well in school?] </td><td align=left><b>Moderately, 3.7 gpa in high school, 3.1 in college.</b><input type='hidden' name='question63' value='%5BDo+well+in+school%3F%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type63' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Wear hats] </td><td align=left><b>Only during Dickens Fair</b><input type='hidden' name='question64' value='%5BWear+hats%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type64' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Hate yourself?] </td><td align=left><b>Surprisingly no, not anymore</b><input type='hidden' name='question65' value='%5BHate+yourself%3F%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type65' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Have an obsession?] </td><td align=left><b>Yes</b><input type='hidden' name='question66' value='%5BHave+an+obsession%3F%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type66' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Collect anything?] </td><td align=left><b>Yes</b><input type='hidden' name='question68' value='%5BCollect+anything%3F%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type68' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Have a best friend?] </td><td align=left><b>Yes</b><input type='hidden' name='question69' value='%5BHave+a+best+friend%3F%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type69' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Close friends?] </td><td align=left><b>Yes</b><input type='hidden' name='question70' value='%5BClose+friends%3F%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type70' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Like your handwriting?] </td><td align=left><b>When it's neat and not looking like some serial killer's signature</b><input type='hidden' name='question71' value='%5BLike+your+handwriting%3F%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type71' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Care about looks] </td><td align=left><b>Yes, when I have to.</b><input type='hidden' name='question72' value='%5BCare+about+looks%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type72' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=center colspan=2><b><i>LOVE LIFE</i></b><input type='hidden' name='question73' value='LOVE+LIFE'><input type='hidden' name='type73' value='2'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[First crush] </td><td align=left><b>A girl named Erin from middle school</b><input type='hidden' name='question74' value='%5BFirst+crush%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type74' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[First kiss] </td><td align=left><b>Kelly the Psycho</b><input type='hidden' name='question75' value='%5BFirst+kiss%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type75' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Do you believe in love at first sight?] </td><td align=left><b>I used to, not sure anymore.</b><input type='hidden' name='question76' value='%5BDo+you+believe+in+love+at+first+sight%3F%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type76' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Do you believe in "the one?"] </td><td align=left><b>I believe that there are multiple "the ones" out there.</b><input type='hidden' name='question77' value='%5BDo+you+believe+in+%5C%22the+one%3F%5C%22%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type77' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Are you a tease?] </td><td align=left><b>Oh hell yes. *laugh*</b><input type='hidden' name='question78' value='%5BAre+you+a+tease%3F%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type78' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Too shy to make the first move?] </td><td align=left><b>Not anymore. *smirk*</b><input type='hidden' name='question79' value='%5BToo+shy+to+make+the+first+move%3F%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type79' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=center colspan=2><b><i>ARE U A</i></b><input type='hidden' name='question80' value='ARE+U+A'><input type='hidden' name='type80' value='2'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Daydreamer] </td><td align=left><b>On occassion</b><input type='hidden' name='question81' value='%5BDaydreamer%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type81' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right> [Bitch/Asshole] </td><td align=left><b>I have been accused of being both.</b><input type='hidden' name='question82' value='+%5BBitch%2FAsshole%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type82' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[sarcastic] </td><td align=left><b>Never. *snerk*</b><input type='hidden' name='question83' value='%5Bsarcastic%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type83' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Angel] </td><td align=left><b>*looks at the halo being held up by the horns* Sure.</b><input type='hidden' name='question84' value='%5BAngel%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type84' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Devil] </td><td align=left><b>*looks at the horns holding up the halo* Maybe.</b><input type='hidden' name='question85' value='%5BDevil%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type85' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Shy] </td><td align=left><b>At times, yes. </b><input type='hidden' name='question86' value='%5BShy%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type86' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td valign=top align=right>[Talkative] </td><td align=left><b>Depending on the company and the subject, yes.</b><input type='hidden' name='question87' value='%5BTalkative%5D+'><input type='hidden' name='type87' value='1'></td></tr><tr><td colspan=2 align=center><input type='submit' value='Take This Survey'><br><a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href='http://www.kwiz.biz/simplesurveys/create-survey.php'>CREATE YOUR OWN!</a> - or - <a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href='http://www.kwiz.biz/simplesurveys/paid-surveys.php'>GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!</a></td></tr></form></table><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-3017097381676095161?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-75086263190597517702007-10-09T16:20:00.001-07:002007-10-09T16:20:01.341-07:00Ok......so the past two days I've wanted to&nbsp;go to sleep at school like no other. Wow, holy&nbsp;random. Yeah. I'm really bored right now, so I feel&nbsp;like writing. And,&nbsp;I think&nbsp;I may FINALLY have figured out the av library thing. XD Yeah........UM...where to start. Um, well, a while back I found out that Brice has a&nbsp;Myspace, and so I sent him a friend request.&nbsp;Well, yesterday he FINALLY got on, but he didn't accept it. But it's ok, b/c my pic wasn't even me, neither was my name. But now his tagline is, "stuck in the&nbsp;middle with you".&nbsp;Talk about confusing. That song is...definitely about a girl, relationship, blah blah blah. So it's very weird. And now, apparently he has a new one. So he has two now, and he just made that one today. It's extremely........weird. &gt;_&lt;<br /><br />Anyways, off of Brice, onto others.&nbsp;The puta (whore, and do we even need to say WHO this is?) broke up with Steve today after my constant (and others) nagging to her about ditching him.&nbsp;Basicly, I just told her this:&nbsp;He's NOT good&nbsp;for you. She&nbsp;already has enough problems as it is, and she doesn't need to go hanging around a fucking sex offender. That's just going to make everything in her life even more worse, if that's even possible. I realize she's not on a good path, but she doesn't need to go and make it any worse. She needs a lot of help.<br /><br />I'm sorry that there are STILL people who actually wish to talk to this kid. Personally, if he would leave now, I would be so much better. I can't believe that even after being convicted of something like that, people are still willing to be nicey and shit and talk to him. That slays me. I can never do that. I have <font size="6">VERY </font><font size="2">harsh feelings towards people like that, and frankly, I do NOT need to explain this.&nbsp;I can't tolerate it; I cannot accept it. Period. Sorry for those who hate me or are mad at be because of my feelings, but that's just how I am.<br /><br />Now onto other things. The scrapbook (sorry, random!) is turning out really well in yearbook. Today I had to change the colors once more on our cover items because once again they were not the same as the rest of it. So Ms. Ashton let me borrow her computer so I could use her PS. We got to talking and stuff (yay =D) and I told her, I said, "We should have PS on all the computers." She says that we can't because people would just abuse the program, and would alter people's photos. Which I get and all, but, I'd still love to have PS on my computer. And she also said something about, "it'd be ok for YOU to have it.." or something like that. She even admitted that I probably (PROBABLY!? lol) know more about PS than she does. Of course, I do, but I didn't say that. XD I've been working with these programs and such for a good 4-5 years now, so I think I know a little something. =D<br /><br />My dad just measured me and I'm still 5 foot, so I really don't know why everyone keeps coming up to me and saying, "I think you're getting taller!" More randomness.<br /><br />Well, time for av library....yupp, I definitely have made more av's, and I need to post them. And let's hope I can get this fing library up! XD<br /><br /><a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d168/sarahHpics/inuyasha4.jpg"><img alt="" src="http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d168/sarahHpics/inuyasha4.jpg"/></a>&nbsp;<a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d168/sarahHpics/inuyasha5.jpg"><img alt="" src="http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d168/sarahHpics/inuyasha5.jpg"/></a>&nbsp;<img alt="" src="http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d168/sarahHpics/kirara.jpg"/><br /><br />2 of InuYasha, and one of the cat, Kirara,&nbsp;from who's also from the show. =D<br /><br /><div class="ljcut">Stuck in the middle with you...</div></font><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-7508626319059751770?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-26292789407039161462007-10-09T16:03:00.001-07:002007-10-09T16:03:30.914-07:00One, I learned a lot more about my dad. This makes me feel even more inferior compared to him, but I'm okay with it... I'm used to being overshadowed. Plus, it's pretty cool if you think about it.<br /><p><br />So apparently my dad set off to college when he was 15 years-old. 15 YEARS-OLD! That's the same age Peter O is right now. And when Dad (born and raised in the countryside/mountainy place of Hunan) beat everybody in his region, he moved on to a small city. He beat everybody there too (for a test), and moved to Beijing, capital of China. Though he didn't quite beat everyone there, he maintained an A+ average for one year. However, he soon got bored of China, and decided to move to America for a more studious enviroment... plus he needed competition.<br /><p><br />He was already a student for Ph.D by the time he left. So when he moved to the University of Kansas, he got his Ph.D after four years of studying.<br /><p><br />And did I mention that he published three books (I tried reading it, but it was so boring... one of those college books students read, mostly about computer science and engineering). He also published a detective fiction article in a magazine. I had no idea how popular my dad was!<br /><p><br />He also published many Chinese articles, but he has no idea where these are right now... oh well.<br /><p><br />So... yeah. I'm impressed already.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-2629278940703916146?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-27597980393825938992007-10-09T15:38:00.001-07:002007-10-09T15:38:41.122-07:00My computer is having some sort of power supply problem, I think. The power has suddenly turned off twice now. It had only been on for about 10 minutes when it went kerput this morning. :/ Dad helped me install a new heatsink a while ago so it shouldn't be overheating but... I forgot how to check the temperature to make sure. I'm thinking maybe the heatsink setting is up too high or something. And my parents computer has a super mysterious ailment that makes using the internet pretty impossible. Google homepage will load but anything more complicated and it sputters and generally fails. Michael's new Macbook is quite nice but no mouse and strange Mac hotkeys make typing slooow. I forgot how to right click. :( But I can work on my essay and watch cartoons at the same time! :D<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-2759798039382593899?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-29377385546087080352007-10-09T15:19:00.001-07:002007-10-09T15:19:43.298-07:00Title: Zero Effects<br />Author: danceswithgary Email: danceswithgary@yahoo.com<br />Pairing: Clark/Lex<br />Rating: R<br />Warnings: None<br />Spoilers: Through S3 Asylum<br />Word Count: 12,400<br />Archive: Fine, just let me know<br />Summary: For Lex, each day is a new beginning. He has no choice. CLFF22 Gold Medal - Fiction <a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://www.clff.onnedhiel.net/">CLFF Waves Site</a> <b>CLFF22 Gold Medal - Artwork</b><br /><a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://pics.livejournal.com/danceswithgary/pic/0004rkbb/"><img src="http://pics.livejournal.com/danceswithgary/pic/0004rkbb/s320x240" width="320" height="180" border='0'/><br><small>cover by dancewithgary<br>screencaps by acampbell and oxoniensis</small><br>Click twice for fullsize</a> <br />*** Prologue *** The voice that woke him was familiar, although the face that accompanied it had changed, grown mature, hard planes replacing the smooth cheeks of boyhood. "You need to get up. Hurry." Something wasn't right. He didn't recognize his surroundings, the blindingly white walls and ceiling a stark contrast to the dark figure bent over him, shaking him awake. "Where am I? What happened?" "There was...something was done to you. That's why you don't remember. Listen, there's no time!" The last thing he could recall flooded in, and he gasped, "Please, tell me happened to the boy I hit? Is he dead? Did I kill him? Please, I need to know!" "You didn't kill anyone. I'll explain everything later. Right now, I need to get you out of here." He felt the constriction across his chest and wrists loosen, and heard the clang of metal. Sitting up, his head spun momentarily, and the walls danced an intricate waltz before settling down to their normal state. "Okay, I'm coming, but you better have a really good explanation as to why I'm here, instead of underneath ten feet of water." "It's a long story. Let's go." Standing, he looked down and then back up at the man waiting for him. "How about some shoes?" . . . "I want to go back. I waste too much time everyday reorienting myself in an unfamiliar city, or else I spend the day prowling around this mausoleum feeling trapped." "It's too dangerous." "I've been dead for years. No one is going to remember me, and besides, you've taught me a few things about hiding in plain sight, right? New name, a wig or a hat, different clothes.... I need this." "We'll need to make sure...all right. I'll get started on your security, and find you a place to live." "I already have one. Here's the information." "Is this where...why?" "There's a delicious irony in it, don't you think? After all, I start from there every morning. I'll need a new name, too. That'll work, and a first name...it could be my second. No, wait. I'll use this one." "Why?" "It appeals to me for some reason. It certainly doesn't hint of anything in my past, so why not?" "Then, you better make a note of it. We wouldn't want to have to go through this again tomorrow. After all, you might pick something truly awful like Granger or Stewart, and then I'd have to call this friendship off." . . . <i>"It is time for you to wake up. It is time for you to wake up."</i> The voice was familiar, its calm tones soothing in his disorientation. He blinked his eyes slowly, and looked up at the ceiling above his head, noting a digital display that changed as he watched. <i>"Do not panic. You made this recording to remind you about what you've forgotten while you slept last night. Remain calm and listen."</i> It was his own voice ordering him to stay calm, at the same time that his mind was raging at him and demanding that he jump out of the bed. A bed that he didn't remember going to sleep in, a room he didn't recognize. <i>"The last thing you remember is a car accident. You crashed through a bridge railing and into a river. You think you hit a boy. You didn't. He wasn't hurt. He saved your life."</i> He remembered that, the surprise on the face of the boy as his car hurtled toward him. He couldn't believe the dark-haired boy hadn't been hurt, that he'd managed not to have that on his conscience, compounding the guilt he still felt over destroying Amanda's life. <i>"Look at the date on the ceiling. That is today's date. It is not a mistake. You have been severely injured, and you cannot remember anything that has happened after that accident. The condition you are suffering from is known as anterograde amnesia."</i> When he calculated the number of years since the date of the accident, he began to understand why the voice had insisted he remain calm. Years. It had been years, and he remembered nothing about them. <i>"You will wake up every day and listen to these instructions. You will get up, shower and get dressed and then you will go to your office down the hall to your left and read what you need to function today, and you will remember everything that happens until you sleep again."</i> It felt wrong to accept the information he'd recorded for himself as fact, without any of his normal skepticism, but until he could come up with an alternative, he'd follow the instructions, one step at a time. <i>"This is important. You must follow these instructions to stay alive. This isn't the life you would have chosen, but you are living it, one day at a time. Make today count."</i> He watched the numbers on the ceiling as they marked off another minute of the waiting day. He had no other choice. He got out of bed. *** Chapter One *** The building was hauntingly familiar, the slick facade now graffiti-spattered, cracked brick. He hadn't noticed where he was heading as he pursued the second of two gun-wielding thugs, the first already occupying a handy dumpster until the police arrived. The second was quickly dispatched to join the first, and it wasn't until he returned to retrieve the dropped weapon that he noticed where he'd been led during the aborted escape attempt. Curious, he scanned the interior, expecting to see the same empty, abandoned space he'd entered years before. Instead, despite his restricted vision, due to what looked to be heavy coats of lead-based paint on the walls and ceiling, it showed clear signs of occupation, not by squatters, but by at least one person with enough money to afford a number of computers and peripherals. Frowning, he took to the air to complete his errand, and deliver the gun to the arresting officers. Nevertheless, he made a mental note to take some time, and find out who now owned the building that had once housed the defunct Club Zero. . . . <i>The clear, cool water hides nothing as he slices through it effortlessly, the blue of the tiles beneath a counterpoint to the bright sun overhead. Reaching the end of the pool, he stands and shakes his hair back out of his face, searching for his companion. He's nowhere in sight, until a pale, lithe body crests the surface with a laugh, a joyful dolphin cast down to human. A splash entices him into play, and they dive and slide over and under each other, touch and away. Stopping for breath, he seeks once again, but this time there is no splash, no return, and no laughter. The water is murky and deep and he can't find what he's looking for, but he keeps trying. He knows he has to find it or he'll never be happy again. He keeps swimming downward, or at least he thinks it's down but can't be sure, the light is dimmer with each passing second. He sees a glimmer and it's there, his goal, and he reaches it and sees the face he's been seeking. Eyes stare blankly as the body drifts inside its metal shell. A blow and a yank, and his prize floats free and he surfaces with it held close. On the banks of the black river, he bestows the kiss of life, but it is too late and he weeps in despair. The bloated body turns its head and river-washed, blue eyes look into his as scarred lips assure him, "It doesn't matter, you know, you'd have only let them kill me later."</i> Jerking awake, he shuddered as the last vestiges of the nightmare bled away into the dark. Knowing from experience that any chance for sleep was gone, he dressed in his bright colors to patrol the night. Always alone. . . . Moving around the unfamiliar bedroom locating clothing, he listened to his recorded voice. <i>"You purchased this building so you would have somewhere familiar to start from every day. The computer on the desk in your office has a training program you will need to run through to understand how to use MIN, the memory interface network you've developed using the learning algorithms you came up with your first year at Met U. It will also fill in what memories you will need for today, as well as what identity you will be using."</i> Rolling his eyes at the voice, he headed for the open door where he could see a sink and bathroom fixtures, muttering, "I suppose I left all this on a computer with no security since I wouldn't be able to remember a password..." <i>"The password for the computer is what you saw that day."</i> He'd never told anyone about the scarecrow, not the doctors, not his father, not his mother. He was impressed with himself. . . . "Hell, Smallville, you look like something the cat dragged in." The honey-blonde whirlwind blew into the small cubicle and plopped down on the corner of desk, leaning over to steal half of the blueberry muffin he was crumbling absent-mindedly. Frowning up at the muffin thief, he carefully moved the remainder of his mutilated breakfast out of reach. "Gee thanks, Lois. I can always count on you to make me feel better. And to steal my food." "That's what partners are for, Clark. Now spill." Turning back to his laptop, he shrugged. "I just didn't sleep well, that's all." "Normal people take time out to have a life, date, go out to dinner, Smallville. You should try it sometime." Leaning over his shoulder, Lois attempted to see the screen. "So, what are you working on?" "I'm just looking up some property records. An old building I'm curious about." Stacking empty soda cans in a pyramid on his desk, Lois prodded, "Why?" Blanking his screen, he swiveled in his seat to look up at her, green eyes wide and innocent behind the thick-rimmed glasses. "No particular reason. I just happened to run across it yesterday and I started wondering." Smiling, he changed the subject. "What's on for today?" Flipping her hair back over her shoulders, Lois grimaced. "Mayor's holding a press conference on the plans for the new stadium. Guess who gets to cover it?" Getting up, she headed out of the cubicle toward her own, a few feet away. "I'd much rather get an interview with Superman, or find some juicy dirt on Luthor any day. Who cares about a bunch of jocks and a new place for them to run around in?" "Well, Lois, all I can say is that neither Superman nor Lionel Luthor is going anywhere, so they'll still be around when you've finished this assignment." Busy grabbing her purse and stuffing her notepad and recorder into it, Lois' response was only mildly sarcastic. "Gee, Smallville, I don't know how I ever got along without your down home wisdom. However do they manage without you, down on the farm?" . . . "Correlation points 27, 34, 56." Touching three points on the screen in front of him, the man seated before the bank of monitors looked up to see the results flash across the screens. Each screen was different, one with scrolling numbers, another with a series of photographs, a third containing a reference document with relevant information highlighted. He typed in a series of commands before touching the screen and speaking again. "Correlation points 7, 19, 27." A digitized voice interrupted the data flow. <i>"Incoming call. Mick Rogers. Hiring contact, information source. Confidence level 8." </i> Halting the displays, the man sighed. "Accept." "Rome, it's me, Mick." Waiting for the console in front of him to validate the voice signature, the man prompted, "Yes?" "I've got a job for you." Nodding to himself at the positive that flashed on the screen, the man asked, "What is it?" "I'm sending the details, highly confidential, needed yesterday. The guy would like to meet with you." "I don't meet with anyone. You know the rules, Mick." "Rome, this is a big one. I wouldn't have brought it to you otherwise. He wants the best." "My rules or nothing. Call me tomorrow, I'll have the information for you." After the call was disconnected, he pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing. "MIN, priority max, report to Mick Rogers on completion. Compile and rank all data on receipt, alert for analysis." . . . <i>The green baize of the table mutes the sound of the colored balls as they clack together, kissing before separation. Pointing with the cue, the pale head nods, and the strike sends the final sphere to the depths. Straightening with a laugh, the cue is handed over to be returned to the waiting rack, the smile warm as hands meet. The green poison burns through his veins as he tries to hang on. The weight on the end of his arm threatens to carry him over, the jerking struggles loosening his grip as each second passes. Straining, he heaves backwards, pulling with all of his waning strength as the weight lessens unexpectedly. A scream and a heavy thud explain the sudden ease. Metal screeches and sways before a rush of air and he is down to the concrete that runs red with spilled life. Crawling through the gore, he looks into the single, intact, blue eye that stares ahead sightlessly and the broken mouth consoles him, "It was all useless. You would have betrayed me anyway."</i> Another night, another visit by regret and he rose from his bed to roam his small apartment in the dark. Even now, years later, something would trigger memory: a blue glass bottle, a silver-grey Porsche, the scent of scotch or river water, and the horror would return. Restless, he took to the sky, knowing he would never find what he was seeking. His single hope had died years before. . . . The recorded voice floated in the air, a digital prompt for a suspended life. <i>"You are an information broker, a detective. You gather threads of data and knot them together into a solution. The only way for you to remain safe is to work in secrecy, in solitude. MIN will tell you whom you can trust. MIN contains every piece of information you have collected and collated since its inception."</i> Turning away from the monitor, the man looked out of the plate glass window over the empty expanse, a story below the office he was seated in. He rubbed the back of his neck as he tried to absorb what he'd learned so far. <i>"MIN is your memory now. Use it. Trust it."</i> *** Chapter Two *** He'd been unable to find out the name of the real owner of the building, yet. A contact at the county offices was handling a title search and cross check on the shell company that had been listed as the purchaser. No phone number had been found either, which explained why he was standing outside of the building, getting ready to knock on the door and ask his questions in person. He knew someone was inside; he could detect their heartbeat and an occasional cryptic word or sentence. Their skeleton was just visible through the walls, but he could make out no details. Sighing, he reached out and pressed the buzzer on the intercom near the heavy, metal door. There was no response until he pressed a second time. "Yes?" "Hello, I'm Clark Kent, a reporter with the Daily Planet. I was wondering if I might have a few minutes of your time?" "What's this about?" "I'm doing a features article on restorations in the city, and someone suggested that this building might be interesting, since it used to be a club, years ago. If I could ask a few questions...?" The buzz that signaled the unlocking of the door made him jump, and he had visions of the voice inside chuckling at the ungainly sight. Opening the door, he entered the building, blinking as his eyes adjusted to the dim light after the bright sunshine he'd just left behind. Walking a few steps forward, he stopped and looked around for the occupant of the building. "Hello?" . . . The buzz of the door intercom sliced through his concentration like a knife. It was unexpected, he never had anyone visit without prior notice, and the people allowed in his presence were strictly limited and monitored. He studied the security camera display, and didn't recognize the tall, dark-haired man with glasses who stood there fidgeting as he waited for a reply. When the scanner detected no weapons, he decided to respond to the second buzz. When the visitor responded with his name, he activated MIN, expecting it to compare the name with any photos on file. It came back with a startling response, since he had scanned all of the high-confidence-level photos that morning, after he'd completed the training. <i>"Clark Kent. Confidence level 10."</i> It was the highest level ever assigned. There had been only one other name set at that level since he'd awakened, and this wasn't it. There was something unexpected happening. He would have to decide if the encounter was worth the risk. He had to trust MIN, or everything he'd built up to now was meaningless. He let the man in. . . . Advancing slowly into the dim light, he looked around, trying to place the quick glimpses of the past within the context of now. The cavernous space had no echoes, the acoustical tiles applied years ago still in place and absorbing random sounds. The first floor was bare of any furniture, the exception a well-equipped personal gym in one corner, including a treadmill and weight stack. The second floor, a set of suspended balconies leading out from back rooms, circled the floor in shadow, the only bright lights from flickering monitors. Turning around, he faced the section where he almost expected to see a writhing figure, bound and dangling head down, the prey in a web of deception. Instead, a dark figure lurked in the shadows, only a glimmer of pale skin revealed. Resisting temptation, he kept his vision within the normal range. "Mr. Kent." The voice was low, smooth, and teased at the edges of his memory. Lifting his chin, he directed his response upwards. "I'm afraid you have the advantage." An almost imperceptible movement brought the dark shape closer to the light. "By my choice, as you must have discovered in your unsuccessful search for the owner of this building. Secrets are my business, Mr. Kent. My name and face are better left unknown to most." Taking another step closer, he let the light overhead fall on his own face. "I can assure you, I keep my sources confidential on request. I also have a reputation to maintain." Stepping out from the shadows, the man above walked to the railing and stood leaning forward, his pale hands gripping the metal, naked skull painted with a dull sheen above his midnight clothing. He inclined his head graciously, a sovereign in the heights. "In that case, Mr. Kent, please do come up and join me. I'm Jerome Zero. You can call me Rome." Staggered by the rush of memories and mired in place by disbelief, he could only stand with his mouth open and try to remember how to breathe. He hadn't been prepared to meet a ghost from a decade ago. A single gasp signaled an attempt to return to a coherent state. "Lex..." . . . <i>"Clark Jerome Kent. Age, twenty-seven. Adopted. Raised in Smallville, Kansas. Item: Saved Lex Luthor from drowning. Item: Saved Lex Luthor from kidnap attempt inside LuthorCorp Plant 3. Item: Saved Lex Luthor from attempted murder by first wife, marriage annulled. No contact since Lex Luthor reported dead. Graduated Metropolis University, Major: Journalism. Occupation: Reporter Daily Planet, partner Lois Lane. Author of seventeen negative articles on LuthorCorp in last six months. Personal input from..."</i> "Halt output. Monitor." The stream of data from MIN fed through his wireless ear bud ended as he greeted his guest. It was apparent from the feed that Clark Kent was one of the good guys, and that he would have to consider revealing at least part of his condition in order to share information. The face turned up to him was wide open, concealing nothing, handsome behind a singularly unattractive pair of glasses. The body, tall and broad, immersed in an ill-fitting suit, seemed to convey subdued power in its every move. Stepping out from concealment, he stood above and introduced himself, observing the other man's reactions carefully. "In that case, Mr. Kent, please do come up and join me. I'm Jerome Zero. You can call me Rome." The gasp and the blanching of the face below revealed a much closer relationship than any of his past research of newspaper articles had identified. He watched the large body sway and wondered if he was going to be required to revive his visitor from a faint, but the man recovered and headed for the stairs, almost scrambling in his haste to mount them. He hurried forward, large hands outstretched, and only a quick step backwards prevented an uninvited contact. The visitor's face fell, and his hands dropped to his sides as he apologized. "I'm sorry, Lex. It's just...you're alive!" A hand came back up as if he couldn't control the need to confirm his presence as real and solid. "I thought...we were told..." The tears that trailed down behind fogged glasses, dampening a grin that threatened to blind him in its intensity, told a tale of past grief and newfound joy. He hated knowing he would be adding another layer of pain to the face before him. Holding up his hand to forestall another attempt to gather him into a hug, he quickly explained. "I'm sorry, Clark is it? Please forgive me, Clark, but I don't remember you. I suffered brain damage and my last memory is an accident at a bridge in Smallville. I'm afraid that the Lex Luthor you may have known is gone." Seeing the devastation that crumbled the wavering smile, he offered his hand and pitched his voice low and welcoming. "My name is Jerome Zero, Rome, now. Still, I am pleased to meet someone, perhaps even a friend, from the past. Why don't you join me in my office? You look as if you could use a drink." . . . "According to my sources, I owe you my life several times over." Pouring a generous measure of scotch into a tumbler, Lex handed it to Clark, who still looked like he was in shock. Indicating a leather armchair, Lex retreated to his own chair behind his desk and took a sip from his drink. Taking the offered seat, Clark held the tumbler on his knee, neglecting to take a taste. After several false starts, he was finally able to ask a simple question. "Why, Lex?" Lex shrugged, his mouth drawing up in a crooked smile. "Why am I alive? Why use an alias? Why keep everything a secret?" "I'll take an answer to any of those." Clark frowned in irritation at Lex's flippant reply. "Simply put, a friend rescued me from a sanatorium in Europe where my father shipped me after electroshock therapy left me with anterograde amnesia. To be honest, I've had to rely on what he was able to discover, which was limited since the doctor who performed the procedure died shortly afterward, and all my treatment records were conveniently destroyed in a fire." Lex stared down into the amber liquid as if searching for clues to his missing past. "I've found that newspaper and magazine articles are limited when it comes to filling in the blanks, but safer than attempting to speak to anyone who knew me those few years I spent in Smallville." "Why safer?" "Because my friend was convinced that my father had me silenced and removed from the public eye for a reason, a reason which could have resulted in another session of electroshock if my father thought there was any chance that I could remember." Draining the last of his drink, Lex pushed the tumbler to the center of the desk. "Unfortunately, neither my friend nor I knew what it was my father was trying to hide, so faking my death was the only way to keep him from trying again and possibly destroying what was left of my brain. Asking questions when we weren't sure who may have been working for my father was too dangerous." Setting his drink on the desk, Clark leaned forward. "Why are you telling me all this, now? Why let me in and reveal your secrets?" "You mean if I could trust you, why didn't I get in touch with you sooner?" Lex raised a sardonic eyebrow. "Excellent question, Clark. You see, until you showed up today, I didn't know I could trust you." His mouth twisted, the scar on his upper lip blanching under pressure. "I didn't even know you were important enough to be assigned a confidence level." "I don't understand." "Ironically, I make my living as an information specialist. I collect data, draw conclusions based on it and send the answers to my clients. The major difficulty I've encountered in attempting to find the answers to my past, is determining which questions to ask. I obviously didn't ask the right questions about my past, so I didn't know that I should try to find you, let you know I was alive, and find out more about my life in Smallville." A look of pain flashed across Clark's face. "I'm not sure you have enough information about me now, or what happened between us. If you did, then maybe we wouldn't be having this conversation. I..." <i>"Incoming call. Mick Rogers. Hiring contact, information source. Confidence level 8."</i> Holding up his hand in a silent request to wait, Lex touched his ear to indicate he was listening. He responded, "MIN, accept incoming, speaker." At the sound of the connection being made, he began speaking first, forestalling any words from the caller. "Mick, I have the information, stand by for transmission." "The client wasn't happy about your refusal to meet." Noting how his visitor stilled at the name, Lex nodded with a frown. "I don't care. If he wants to engage my services, he'll follow my rules. If he persists, take him off the list." "You're the boss, Rome." At the sound of the disconnect, Lex raised his hand again. "MIN, speaker. Detail confidence level 10 on Clark Kent." <i>"Clark Jerome Kent. Age, twenty-seven. Adopted. Raised in Smallville, Kansas. Item: Saved Lex Luthor from drowning. Item: Saved Lex Luthor from kidnap attempt inside LuthorCorp Plant 3. Item: Saved Lex Luthor from murder attempt by first wife, marriage annulled. Item: No contact since Lex Luthor reported dead. Graduated Metropolis University, Major: Journalism. Occupation: Reporter Daily Planet, partner Lois Lane. Author of seventeen negative articles on LuthorCorp in last six months. Personal input from Bruce Wayne: Trust Clark Kent as you would me. Continue?"</i> The sound of cracking wood split the air between the two men and Clark looked down in dismay at the arm of his chair. A dry chuckle brought his head back up. "MIN, halt output. Monitor." Leaning back in his chair, Lex rubbed a finger over his scarred lip before speaking. "I have to admit I'm finding it hard to decide which piece of that information I find the most intriguing. Is it that I managed to choose your second name as my first, or that Bruce endorses you when he trusts no one?" "You know Bruce Wayne?" "Yes, he's the friend I spoke of earlier. He's the only other person that knows I'm still alive. I wonder why he's never spoken to either of us about knowing each other in Smallville. Knowing Bruce, I suspect he was trying to keep me as far away from there as possible, thinking I'd be safer not knowing." Clark's bark of laughter startled Lex. "Bruce should have known better. The Lex Luthor I knew would have never given up asking questions until he found out the truth." "That hasn't changed. I'd like to hear anything you can tell me about Smallville and us. Do you have the time?" Pulling his cell phone out, Clark hit speed dial. "Lois, this is Clark. Look, something's come up and I won't be back to the office today. I'll talk to you tomorrow." Ending the message, Clark turned off the phone and tucked it back into his pocket. He smiled tentatively across the desk at Lex. "OK, the rest of the day is yours. Where do you want to start?" "Why don't you tell me how we met?" *** Chapter Three *** "Please list all food and drink consumed." Lex laughed at Clark's startled look when the refrigerator began to speak after he opened it to get two bottles of water. "There are voice prompts on all the cupboards and refrigerator. If I use anything, I tell MIN and it places a replacement order at the end of the day. All my laundry, including sheets and towels, is sent out using the same prompt system. I pick up any deliveries at the loading dock and put them away, telling MIN. I only have the one bathroom, one bedroom, the kitchen, and my office, so I'm capable of keeping the place clean myself. That way I don't need to worry about any security issues involved in using a cleaning service." "Do you ever leave the building?" Uncapping his bottle, Lex drank deeply before wandering out to the balcony overlooking the empty floor below. "Occasionally, but only at night. It requires a disguise, and I really don't like wearing a wig unless I absolutely have to. I do enjoy eating out sometimes, though. MIN makes sure I don't frequent the same restaurants too often." Following him out, Clark leaned against the railing a few feet away. "You must get lonely." Shrugging, Lex shook his head. "Not really, I'm too busy to think about it much." Finishing the bottle, he walked over to the wall, dropped it into a slot marked 'waste disposal' and then wandered over to the bank of monitors. "I spend most of my time here, trying to make sense of the data MIN collects for me. I have a number of search algorithms in place with filters I set. I correlate the results, and MIN stores it for later retrieval as needed." Looking over Lex's shoulder, Clark watched as Lex used the touch screen to illustrate how he worked. "That's pretty impressive, Lex. How did you come up with all of this?" "I guess it all started with some techniques I used to associate and weight study topics while I was at school. It took a while to translate it into a digital format, but once I began it was almost an organic growth, took on a life of its own. Now, MIN handles the majority of the work with some input from me on topics of interest." Lex waved his hand at the system. "MIN is monitoring everything we say, and storing it for later assessment." He raised his eyebrows and grinned. "I suppose I should have warned you that I have no secrets from MIN, and as long as you're with me, neither do you." Clark ducked his head and looked down at the ground. "I..." His head came back up and his expression was earnest. "I'll answer whatever questions you ask me, Lex, and I'll always tell you the truth. If that means I'll have no secrets, then I guess I'll just have to live with that." Nodding, Lex gestured toward his office. "In that case, let's get comfortable and you can try to explain why I decided to get married a second time after the first marriage was such a spectacular mess." . . . Lex was pacing back and forth across his office, his voice edged with pain. "So my father was drugging me because I had evidence that he and Morgan Edge killed my grandparents for insurance money? That's how I ended up in Belle Reve, where I had the electroshock? What happened to the evidence?" Seated on the sofa positioned along the back wall, Clark frowned. "Lionel managed to get a hold of it, and he most likely had it destroyed. With Morgan Edge missing, Chloe and I had no way to prove anything. When Lana was injured..." "Lana, my partner in the Talon?" "Right, she was accidentally trampled by a horse when you got upset with her. It wasn't your fault, Lex, it was the drugs, and you weren't yourself then. Anyway, after that happened, it became impossible for us to convince anyone that you were being drugged causing you to act as if you were having a psychotic break. There's something else that you need to know, Lex. Something about me and what happened before they took you away..." Halting, Lex held up his hand. "I need to take a break, Clark. This is a lot to take in at once, especially hearing about what my father did to me. It's one thing to suspect it based on what Bruce was able to find out, it's another to have it confirmed by you." Rising to his feet, Clark approached Lex with his hand outstretched. He grasped Lex's shoulder and squeezed gently. "Whatever you need, Lex. I'm here for you." Glancing at his watch, Lex grimaced. "It's late, and we haven't eaten. Why don't we go out and get some fresh air, and talk about something unimportant at a restaurant of your choice?" . . . Setting his fork down, Lex grinned across the table at Clark. "Do I have sauce on my face?" Their meal had been enjoyable, Lex amusing Clark with stories of his wild days in college, while Clark shared light-hearted adventures with his intrepid partner. There had been a great deal of laughter and shared smiles. Flushing in mild embarrassment at being caught staring, Clark shook his head. "No, it's just...you look the same as you did back then, like you never got any older." He ducked his head and murmured, "You look amazing." Cocking his head as he thought about what Clark had said, Lex's expression reflected his puzzlement. "You know, I hadn't really noticed, but you're right...it's as if my aging stopped at the same time I lost my memories. I wonder...with all the odd effects you've mentioned from the meteors...maybe..." He shrugged. "Not my field, I'm afraid. Anyway, you're one to talk. You certainly don't look like you're twenty-seven. You could be a college freshman." Clark chuckled. "Not an advantage when it comes to interviews, sometimes. It's a good thing I have Lois for the hard-hitting news. I generally handle the human interest side." "Lois Lane, right? And Chloe was your partner back in Smallville. What ever happened to her? It sounded like she'd have made an amazing reporter." Noticing they were the last customers in the restaurant, Lex signaled for the check while he waited for an answer. The sadness in Clark's eyes made him sorry he'd asked. "She...was killed in a car accident one night, right before graduation. The police thought that maybe an animal ran out in front of her car. She was by herself, and they were sure she died instantly when she hit the tree." Reaching out, Lex covered Clark's hand with his. "I'm sorry, Clark." "Thanks. It was a long time ago, but I still miss her. She was my only friend after you..." Clark blinked rapidly as he valiantly tried to smile. "She would have been happy that I stayed with journalism like we'd planned." Leaving enough cash to cover the bill and tip, Lex rose from the table. "Let's go. It's a beautiful night out there. We can enjoy the stars on the way back." Grateful for the Lex's understanding, Clark nodded and followed him out. . . . The darkness held them in comfortable silence as they walked along the deserted streets, each lost in their thoughts. On reaching the building, Clark followed Lex inside and up the stairs to his office, taking a seat on the sofa again, all without a single word. Taking his baseball cap off, Lex tossed it on the desk along with the glasses he'd donned before leaving for the restaurant. He kicked off his shoes before taking a corner of the sofa, pulling one leg up so he could see Clark more easily. Smiling, Clark did the same. Lex spoke first. "I really enjoyed dinner, Clark." "I did, too. It's been years..." Clark's smile turned bittersweet. Lex shook his head in disbelief. "Come on, you must have the ladies lining up..." At Clark's raised brow, he chuckled. "All right, then the men must be." Clark shrugged. "No, when I said Chloe was my only friend after I lost you, I meant it. I just never...it never seemed right. It's not like anyone wanted to make the effort to get to know me anyway." Lex studied Clark's face and smiled gently before sliding closer. He reached out and pulled off Clark's glasses, folding them before placing them in Clark's shirt pocket. "You don't really need those, do you?" At Clark's slow headshake, he slid even closer. "I can't help wondering what you're hiding from, Clark." When Clark didn't move away, Lex raised his hand to trace the edge of Clark's jaw. "How close were we really, Clark? Were we lovers?" Clark licked his lips, closing his eyes for just a moment before he whispered, "No." Sliding his hand upwards to run his fingers through thick, dark curls, Lex brought his face closer, his voice a low caress. "Did you want us to be?" After the briefest hesitation, Clark's answer was a sigh. "Yes." "Then I think we've both waited long enough, don't you?" The kiss started out a gentle exploration, brief touches, and a glide across, the tip of a tongue asking permission and receiving it. Breath was soon stolen, and then returned with a sigh. Heat flared, hands joined the dance, and clothing became a nuisance. Breaking away, chased by a protesting groan, Lex rose to his feet. "Come to bed with me?" Standing, gaping shirt slipping from his shoulders to the floor, Clark simply nodded and followed Lex to the room next door. Slipping out of his clothes quickly, Lex scrambled up the bed, shoving the cover sheet and blanket to the foot of the bed. Rolling to his back, he propped himself up on his elbows to watch with heavy-lidded eyes as Clark fumbled himself out of his remaining clothing. Naked at last, Clark peeked up at Lex through his lashes as he stood at the foot of the bed, suddenly shy. Lex smiled gently and beckoned with his index finger. "Come here." Never looking away, Clark climbed onto the bed and crawled slowly towards Lex, straddling his hips and ending up over him, still on his hands and knees. Lex grinned up at him. "You've never done this before, have you?" At Clark's slow headshake, he reached up to pull his head down, capturing his lips gently, nipping and then soothing with his tongue. He urged Clark to lower his body on to his, accepting the weight with a pleased groan as he felt Clark hard and eager against him. Thrusting upward, he began to teach Clark the movement and the rhythm, finding him an apt pupil. Frantic, disjointed words interrupted kisses. "Lex...Lex...I've missed you...so much." "I must have been an idiot not to have you back then," Lex groaned, his hands learning the shape and strength of the man over him. Stilling, Clark held back, his voice rough and broken. "Wait, Lex. There's...there's something I need to tell you first, something you need to know about me and what happened." Impatient, Lex shook his head and tried unsuccessfully to pull Clark's head back within reach. "Do you work for my father? Did you work for my father?" Clark stiffened in outrage. "No!" Lex searched the distressed green eyes that begged for understanding. "Do you really want this...want me?" "Yes, yes. A million times, yes." "Then, please just let me have this. I've been awake since yesterday and I've dealt with nothing but bad news and trying to make sense of my life. You're the first good thing that's happened to me, Clark. Tell me later. Let me have you now." Sighing, Clark dropped his forehead to Lex's and closed his eyes in defeat. "Anything, Lex. You can have anything and everything you want from me." Both hands buried in Clark's hair, Lex brought their lips together in a crushing kiss, growling as he worried plush lips with his teeth, "Then move, Clark. Touch me, damn it. I need to feel you, feel something." The heat that had cooled as they'd spoken flared up once again and the lost rhythm found. Both hard, smooth skin slid against hair-roughened, intimate friction quickening with breathless mouths seeking. Tongues battled in a war without a winner or loser, words escaped lacking any meaning save desire. Pleasure rose until it spilled over, echoed, shared, slowed, and rested, content. Murmuring in protest as the warm weight shifted off to his side, Lex felt his world narrow and grow dim as sleep claimed him. His final thoughts scattered, a faint chiding voice ignored as it tried to remind him in vain of something important, forgotten. He never heard the soft whisper in the dark. "Please don't hate me when you find out the rest, Lex. I can't lose you again. I...I love you." . . . <i>The blue bottle is cool in his hands, the liquid a sparkling taste in his mouth as the other raises his to scarred lips and drank, long elegant throat working as he swallows. The grin, the conspiratorial blue wink leaves him tingling with want. The bottle empty, it is discarded and pale skin reflects stained glass sun as other refreshment is sought. Amber glitters as it pours out, splashes, overflows to pool on dark wood. A spark and flame rises, consumes as an open mouth screams in silence. Frozen, movement stolen from forgotten limbs, he watches helplessly until black ash crumbles to the floor. Dropping to his knees, his hands flake away char until the skull grins up and speaks without a tongue, "Too late. You're always too late. It's all gone, now."</i> Reluctant to leave the warmth he'd mourned for so many lost years, he knew he would receive no surcease until he revealed the complete truth. Listening, he detected another chance for the redemption he'd sought for years, and donned the symbol he'd worn to honor a fallen champion. He would return later with his hope for long-awaited forgiveness.<br /><br><br /><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-2937738554608708035?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-45162406710760087332007-10-09T14:57:00.001-07:002007-10-09T14:57:01.191-07:00i honestly feel like crying, now. i had written so much. i very much dislike internet explorer. i very much dislike public computers. i wish the damn thing actually copied! it CUT, but why didnt it COPY? i am very discouraged, now. well, i still need to write this damn list. which should i choose for a research paper including the authors life summery, include critical reviews by others, and a personal interpretation of the actual piece of literature? works cited is, of course, required. the tell-tale heart<br />the raven<br />the masque of the red death<br />the murders in the rue morgue<br />the fall of the house of usher<br />annabel lee<br />the black cat<br />the angel of the odd or, that one poem that spells out a name...i think is "virginia"...by corresponding the number of lines to the number of letters in the line. like, the first letter of the first line, the second letter of the second line, the third of the third and so forth. well, itd be a very interesting piece to write about for that one detail, but itd be hard to write about without remembering the name of the poem or what the poem was about. toeten sie mich bitte. ich hasse die Notwendigkeit, Entscheidungen zu machen.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-4516240671076008733?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-59032882620556139172007-10-09T14:41:00.001-07:002007-10-09T14:41:57.623-07:00Made it back upstate this afternoon after the ultimate in reaxing weekends and beautiful fall day-drives. Returned to the rental car agency. The man at the booth was really nice, but I wonder if his head was really in it. GUY: Do you know the current mileage on the vehicle?<br />ME: Yes *proud* 31,901. Exactly.<br />GUY: *looks at contract* Wow, brand new car, too. It says here you had 31 miles when you left. At this point he doesn't seem to see anything amiss with that statement. ME: Thirty-one? There's no way. I only drove to New York City and back.<br />GUY: *looks closer at contract* Right. you've only had it since Friday. That's... four days. ME: Yes, so you see it's impossible.<br />GUY: Riiight. They must have meant three <i>hundred</i> and one miles.<br />ME: *headdesk* He seems very pleased at having come to this conclusion. ME: Um, well, New York is only two-hundred-some miles away, so I doubt I drove THIRTY ONE THOUSAND SIX HUNDRED MILES to get there and back. *trying to be congenial* It probably had about 31,500 when I left.<br />GUY: Hmm... You might be right. Let me just look it up here. *types on computer* At this point I'm wondering about the quality of the math programs in the local grammar schools. GUY: Oh, yes. It says 31,450. That's more like it. ME: Thank you. Can I go now? So then I went to the auto repair place and got my car back. I asked the girl how it was. she said "great". I turned it on. Flashing orange light. "Time for Service" I refuse to take it in quite yet. Especially as my checking account is down to $50 and it looks like I won't be *eating* next month, much less servicing my car. New student loans don't come through until January, either, so I might have to rack up some credit card debt. *hides* I also saw Catch and Release last night, the movie with Jennifer Garner and Kevin Smith. Odd to hear him *talk* in a movie, but it was really pretty cute overall, and left me with that warm, fuzzy, feeling. now must watch Heroes and count down the minutes until Thursday night. But the best thing about long weekends? is that they're followed by SHORT weeks. Woo hoo!!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-5903288262055613917?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-1200912403214644952007-10-09T14:21:00.001-07:002007-10-09T14:21:34.664-07:00ah this computer is warming this lap of mine. soon i will have to go-go, but i'm still sitting here drinking seltzer with my robe and fliporz on. "the temperature has dropped," said my knees to the floor in cracking exclamation! i bought a book at bluestockings on sunday. <u>writers under siege</u>. i can not really get into it. today i better bring a pencil if im going to underline.<br />i can't drink coffee anymore.<br />last night i had some cauliflower soup and it was really fantastic. today i had a bit of stirfry and other bits a pieces polished by bits brits, who is reviewing his latest selection of music right now. gordy is not here right now! a cabinet fell off the wall and for her safety she is eating dog food in the country. maybe going to npz this weekend. its gonna be cold. we'll see.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-120091240321464495?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-43971572512153839772007-10-09T14:00:00.001-07:002007-10-09T14:00:31.142-07:00I am totally convinced that I will get no where as a writer. Death by writer's block. What the hell am I doing? What was I thinking?!?! Ahhhh!!! But Fall Break is really soon and I'm so glad. I'm going to see lots of people. Like Sean! I'm gonna visit Big Eddie at Tabor too and whoever else happens to be around then (after school). I had a really weird dream about Kneisel last night. He was a combination of himself and my one of my workstudy professors, and I guess I was visiting, but he like grabbed my arm and looked at me really intently and I think he asked me if I was busy? And I said no, and he invited me to come to <i>stitch and bitch</i> with him and his wife. Which is something the Chaplain has at her house, a little knitting/needlework/chat cirlce. But he was going. So I went to his house with him and his wife and we got in the car and suddenly I was REALLY uncomfortable with the idea of being in his car and going to this thing with him, so I told him I didn't feel well and was goin to go home. And home was the house I used to live in before the one I live in now, as it often is in my dreams. And things were going wrong. I also remembered today that the night before last, I dreamed I was on the Titanic. Fun fun. I finished reading the short stories for english. Raphael (teacher) was not lying when he warned of the dark subject matter. Like whoa. I'm also beginning to wonder if sex is a requirement for valid fiction. Not necessarily detailed descriptino of the act, but just the idea of it and various things surrounding that idea. So am I gonna have to mention sex in every story I write, just to have my bases covered? The next generation will be defining fiction as everything we already know, plus sex. So. Buttons. Stupid computer. grr.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-4397157251215383977?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-85065376067466458562007-10-09T13:35:00.001-07:002007-10-09T13:35:38.431-07:00Estratto dal diario di una tecnica informatica inconsapevole. Ieri giornata campale al lavoro. È iniziata la stagione dei cali di corrente, di solito in questo periodo il quadro elettrico decide che al lunedì mattina non ci ha tanta voglia di lavorare e non c'è verso di far stare l'interruttore in posizione "on". Scatta sempre.<br />Purtroppo, questa volta, è scattato ben due volte mentre i server si stavano riavviando; il che ha mandato in pappa windows. Anche se avevo tutte le copie dei dati aggiornatissime (^____^ ghe!) non è bello quando il server dove ci sono tutti i programmi e gli archivi va in schermo blu ancora prima di accedere al sistema operativo.<br />Fortunatamente l'ex-tecnico informatico ci è venuto in aiuto e (quasi) tutto si è risolto. Il problema della schermata blu è sparito misteriosamente da solo quando sono riuscita ad entrare utilizzando la "modalità provvisoria" ma nel frattempo Zeus ed Hera si erano scambiati fra loro, non so come, gli indirizzi IP e per quello non sapevo dove mettere le mani.<br />Ora i server sono in linea e, escludendo il piccolo dettaglio che il programma principale utilizzato dall'Ufficio della Gestione è andato completamente in pappa, si riesce più o meno a lavorare.<br />Però ho perso un'intera mattinata nel gabinetto del server a tentare di capirci qualcosa, e quando dico gabinetto non è una metafora:<br /><div ALIGN="CENTER"><br /><img src="http://digilander.libero.it/spostatiscienza/Appoggio/servercesso.jpg"/><br /></div><br />Ecco qui (a destra) Hera e (a sinistra) Zeus. Quelli al centro sono i nostri due poveri gruppi di continuità sfiatati che, in mancanza di corrente, riescono a tener botta per ben dieci minuti. Forse dovrei dare un nome anche a loro: pensavo qualcosa tipo Tantalo e Prometeo, per via del supplizio, visto che devono dare energia a quattro server contemporaneamente.<br />Nello stanzino ci sono in tutto cinque server: Zeus, Hera, Athena, collegati in rete fra loro (il nome della rete è ovviamente Olimpo); Marte, tutto solo soletto e a parte ma che gestisce i computer di ben due aule; e un altro server non nostro ma di un altro ente, in quanto abbiamo il gabinetto in comproprietà, che si chiama... Zeus, di nuovo (il nostro ex-tecnico informatico ammette di non avere molta fantasia.)<br />Potrei aggiungere che lo stanzino ha il condizionatore che non funziona, il vetro della finestra rotto e la lampadina della luce fulminata, ma visto che una serie di sfighe del genere, pur essendo vere, non sono credibili, ho deciso di non aggiungerlo.<br />:-:<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-8506537606746645856?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-62262106421623261032007-10-09T13:13:00.001-07:002007-10-09T13:13:21.337-07:00How well are the guys in my house trained? This well: I came home from a friend's birthday party on Sunday night, and two of the roommates were in the kitchen. First roommate: "You look nice."<br />Second roommate: *Peers around* "Hey, you look nice."<br />Third roommate: *From upstairs, where he can see nothing* "You look nice!"<br />First roommate: "I said it first." I'll be on Galiano Island and <i>sans</i> computer from tomorrow morning to Friday morning. Clearly spending forty-eight hours in close quarters with a dozen other people was the perfect time to contract a head cold, and so I have. All in all, though, it was a wonderfully quiet Thanksgiving weekend. Two-thirds of my roommates scattered to go celebrate it and so the remaining housemate and I had a placid time of things. We did indulge in such fun as contra dancing on Saturday night and experiments with home-roasted coffee beans. (Delicious results.) So who can complain? Certainly not us.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-6226210642162326103?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-26417940234381311132007-10-09T12:59:00.001-07:002007-10-09T12:59:25.276-07:00I worry about the dumbest things. My life's not going to end if some guy doesn't like me. I need to concentrate on important things, like my grades and how they suck and how if I don't improve them I will lose my tuition waiver.&nbsp; That's fairly worrisome, I think. However, I have no motivation. All I want to do is sit on my ass and fool around with my computer and sleep.&nbsp; I get tongue-tied. Did I mention that I'm awkward? I am. I'm very awkward. And crazy. Literally.&nbsp; There's no point in worrying about this. I should do my philosophy homework or at least read for sociology. I should, I really should. I should do lots of things. I should go for a walk.&nbsp; I should stop sleeping so much. I should eat more. I should stop skipping chapel. I should clean my dorm room. I should leave my dorm room once in a while. I should stop being so dramatic.&nbsp; I hate the word 'should.'&nbsp; I'm obsessed with "Soul Meets Body" by Death Cab for Cutie. I listen to the same songs over and over again. I need to expand my horizons. Should! Stupid word!&nbsp; I hate how my school looks like an industrial park. Maybe if my college looked properly collegiate I'd feel like doing homework. Probably not.&nbsp; I slept wrong and now my side hurts. Serves me right.&nbsp; I fell asleep in my clothes last night.&nbsp;I hate it when that happens; I always feel gross when I wake up and I'm still in my day clothes and I haven't brushed my teeth or taken my medication or anything. Disrupt my schedule and I become very unhappy. I'm like a toddler, really.&nbsp; Why is it that I feel more like myself when I'm online than when I'm actually physically interacting with someone? Pointless.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-2641794023438131113?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-44078271360499329552007-10-09T12:42:00.001-07:002007-10-09T12:42:05.981-07:00At present, I should be working.&nbsp; Politics, I suspect.&nbsp; An essay of some description, I know.&nbsp; Boring as hell, I also know.<br /><br />As it is, I have decided to write an anonymous letter to an anonymous person in as anonymous a fashion as possible, the latter simply because I wanted to complete the power of three.&nbsp; Could it be for you, this letter?&nbsp; Read into it what you will.&nbsp; Or, alternatively, read it on the surface.<br /><br />Or, even better, stop reading now and save five minutes of your life, silly person.<br /><br /><i>Dear sir/madame/etc,<br /><br />I do not know you, nor you me, I suspect.&nbsp; This in and of itself does not matter.&nbsp; While non-acquaintance may seem at first an insurmountable barrier to our no doubt fruitful future friendship, I assure you it is not.&nbsp; In this truly anonymous day and age, it is possible for two beings, stripped of all thought, feeling or self-aware individuality to meet by the most unusual means, and still be acknowledged as vaguely valid.&nbsp; I am sure, quite sure that meeting someone through an anonymous letter on an almost entirely anonymous blog from an anonymous nobody wallowing in their own undeserving self-pity on the edge of London will not be considered unusual - save, perhaps, that it was still written as a letter. (Maybe I should phrase this in txt.&nbsp; Would that be more usual, do you think?).&nbsp; Acceptable, maybe not, as to be properly accepted by society would be to compromise what society views as individuality.&nbsp; And, individuality - sorry, that should really be individualism, but -isms have been banned outside of Iran and the Mid-West since 1990 - is sacred, isn't it?&nbsp; We couldn't possibly compromise that, no.<br /><br />We are making progress, I think.&nbsp; Good!&nbsp; I have been neglecting my good manners, such as they are, for entirely too long now.&nbsp; Allow me to introduce myself properly.&nbsp; I am me.&nbsp; Ego, self, I.&nbsp; Actually, I suppose that's not strictly true.&nbsp; If ego is taken to be the purely selfish part of the mind, that identifies only with itself and none other, than it cannot just be me writing this.&nbsp; By necessity, it must also the society that has acted upon and made me, the environment that is acting upon me now, and probably a thousand other factors I haven't studied enough years to fathom, or even name.&nbsp; Thus, I am not really me, I am me.<br /><br />I hope that made sense for you.&nbsp; I would like it explained if you did.<br /><br />And you?&nbsp; For me, this is ultimately the greatest mystery of the letter.&nbsp; Who are you?&nbsp; A human being of some form, I would hope.&nbsp; I quiver with barely suppressed disappointment at the idea that this, scant fifteen minutes work though it is, is actually addressed to a computer.&nbsp; Now, if you are a computer, or indeed any other form of mechanical appliance, I mean no offence by this.&nbsp; However, I would ideally hope that this is meant for someone not only sentient, amiable and perhaps even intelligent - but also of holding a conversation with me, full stop.<br /><br />If, however, you are a human being, I fear the onus is now on you.&nbsp; Short of telling you who, what and why you are myself, an action possibly regarded as impolitic at the very least, I can provide no more information on who you are.&nbsp; Thus, you must tell me.&nbsp; RSVP, as they say.<br /><br />Yours faithfully,<br /><br />Nobody,&nbsp; Anybody and Everybody.<br /><br /></i>Hmm.&nbsp; Not quite what I envisioned when I strted; I'm not sure I'm happy with it.&nbsp; This said, I am tempted to send it from a postbox somewhere in the middle of the City, with the return address as, "c/o [The local post office]", to a completely random address, and see what happens.<br /><br />Knowing people, nothing....<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-4407827136049932955?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-61611255906015147692007-10-09T03:11:00.001-07:002007-10-09T03:11:19.058-07:00Just listened to a presentation by <a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://www.cs.cmu.edu/~alf/">Allan Fishe</a>r from <a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://www.cmu.edu/index.shtml">Carnegie Mellon</a> who managed to increase the number of women on their computer science courses from 7% to 40% (although it's dropped back now).<br /><br />The thing is it didn't seem that they did anything radical, although they've managed to publish a <a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/Unlocking-Clubhouse-Computing-Jane-Margolis/dp/product-description/0262133989">book </a>on it.<br /><br />I wonder what the external factors where at the time? One of the problems is that we operate in the real world and there are so many variables that finding the real cause for things is virtually impossible.<br /><br />A few years back, archeology courses had a dramatic increase in applicants. Whilst I'm sure that many departments patted themselves on the back that their recruitment activities were bearing fruit, there was also the programme "<a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://www.channel4.com/history/microsites/T/timeteam/">Time Team</a>" riding high in the viewing charts. When this slipped back, archeology also slipped from the consciousness of potential students and applications fell back too.<br /><br />I'm not sure what point I'm trying to make here. Certainly not that we should sit back and say "what's the point", but we have to be very aware of external influences beyond our control.<br /><br />Maybe what we need is a character in the next series of "<a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://www.nbc.com/Heroes/">Heroes</a>" that is female and has the ability to write bug-free code when on smack.<br /><br />Of course by then Heroes will be old hat...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-6161125590601514769?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-14355973639675637642007-10-09T02:47:00.001-07:002007-10-09T02:47:57.855-07:00Okay, so lets first start off with my job. First day was Sunday night. I started at 11. Met some pretty cool folks. The truck didn't come in that night so there weren't any knew products to stock. We spent the entire night zoning the store. It was really easy. I know it'll be harder next time, but it was a nice first day. I still need to get certified on the Wave Lift and the compactor in the back room. I start work at 11 pm. A break is usually at midnight, cause some people will have been there since 9pm. 30 minute meal break is at 3 am. Then another 15 minute break somewhere down the line. Then I go home at 7:30 to sleep. First pay is on the 12, where i'll be payed for my time at the orientation. Kinda funny, cause I get payed 9.50/hr while others might get more or less. Does that mean we all get payed differently for the same orientation? LMTO :D So, I dropped outta German. Not cause I didn't like it. Not cause it was overly difficult. But because it would have made my days very difficult with the way my sleeping pattern will end up being soon. Unfortunatly I don't get a refund, so I still owe the school $300, but not going to class will sure make my days easier. At least on Mondays and Wednesdays. I'm still going to finish my AAA class since Wednesday is my last day. On more day. I owe the teacher that much at least :) At first I felt bad about dropping out of German. I thought my teacher, Udo, would be angry. I felt bad so I wrote him an email explaining why I dropped out. I praised that man. Quite a bit actually if you go back and read a few of my journals when I first started that class. I thought he was so cool. I feel no regret for dropping that class anymore. After talking to Erin, it turns out that he's trying to force the rest of the students to drop out. He's had half the class drop on him so far. That's what he wanted. That's what he's told us. He wants everyone to drop out that doesn't want to take German so he's only left with those that are willing to learn it completely. But now he's emo and is being a complete bitch to those that are left in his class whether they have a desire to learn or not, in hopes that they will all drop out so he doesn't have to teach a German 101 class anymore. How...unprofessional...<br />Honestly, what an immature bastard. My computer's alive. Turns out one of my RAM sticks was dying. That's probably what was causing all the restarts and lack of performance. I know this cause it blew up the other day. S'why the new version of Windows that we installed wasn't booting. Badger gave me two new sticks to replace the 2 old ones, and it works now. =^..^= I kinda wish i'd known it was this simple before paw...but at least I didn't go out and buy a new motherboard/processor. This took a long time, but was free :) So as we speak, all my pr0nz are passing through the air between 's computer and my own. Hopefully i'll have it back and outta Kamo's fur by tomorrow evening. I owe him and Sean big for putting up with me :/ Badger's car won't be outta the shop till Thursday, so I gotta take him to work tomorrow. Need at least a few hours of sleep tonight for that. :P<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-1435597363967563764?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-85963811487365638152007-10-09T02:12:00.001-07:002007-10-09T02:12:59.797-07:00camille vergara<br />here here<br />sorry<br />we have questions na diba?<br />zet sobejana<br />haha<br />uh.. yeah<br />but it's not complete<br />camille vergara<br />what do we have so far<br />zet sobejana<br />hmmm... number of kids, job (both parents), income? how they budget their income, what they spend on, enough income?<br />that's it<br />we have to consider these: sources of income, consumption patterns, livelihood skills, living conditions<br />we're doing low income households and NGO's, right?<br />camille vergara<br />yeah<br />zet sobejana<br />okay<br />camille vergara<br />ok another question should be<br />where do you live? how much do you pay for your home?<br />(do they pay ba in the place we went to?)<br />zet sobejana<br />don't know eh<br />i dont think so?<br />camille vergara<br />ok, well it can be a question anyway<br />zet sobejana<br />okay okay<br />how about llivelihood skills?<br />camille vergara<br />whats that?<br />job?<br />zet sobejana<br />dunno camille vergara<br />umm<br />?<br />zet sobejana<br />errr<br />haha<br />wait..<br />i think we have enough questions for HH's<br />for NGO's?<br />we're doing kanlungan, right?<br />camille vergara<br />yeah ok our questions are complete na for households. im just confused about livelihood skills haha zet sobejana<br />programs for poverty alleviation?<br />camille vergara<br />is that...how we live?<br />zet sobejana<br />haha<br />camille vergara<br />yeah<br />zet sobejana<br />no! hahah<br />bahala na nga<br />camille vergara<br />fine fine those questions are ok na for HH<br />zet sobejana<br />we dont have to consider all naman eh<br />camille vergara<br />ok ok<br />zet sobejana<br />anyway..<br />for NGO's?<br />camille vergara<br />yeah, thats a good ques for NGo<br />zet sobejana<br />okay..<br />camille vergara<br />are we doing kanlungan ba talaga?<br />zet sobejana<br />yuuuup!<br />camille vergara<br />ok<br />so...<br />programs for poverty alleviation?<br />zet sobejana<br />programs? what does each prog do?<br />camille vergara<br />yup<br />how do they ensure that their programs are upheld long term?<br />zet sobejana<br />uhuh.. and if they have budget<br />camille vergara<br />and how much the budget it<br />is*<br />zet sobejana<br />and where they get the budget haha<br />hmmm.... so far, how many have they helped?<br />camille vergara<br />what areas do they focus on?<br />zet sobejana<br />were their progs successful?<br />yup!<br />camille vergara<br />hahaha good good<br />umm<br />zet sobejana hmmm// how about providing jobs?<br />or providing houses for the poor?<br />camille vergara<br />yeah yeah<br />but that can be part of their answers na eh<br />for what are their projects??<br />gets<br />?<br />zet sobejana<br />aahhhhh<br />haha<br />okaaay<br />are those okay na?<br />we'll have 3 major points 1- low income households 2-NGO's 3- recommendations<br />??<br />camille vergara<br />yea ok<br />but wait im confused<br />whats the whole point of the paper ba?<br />hahahaha zet sobejana<br />hahahah to know more about low income HH<br />i'll tell you the objectives to learn more about how lgu's and ngo's help them overcome poverty<br />AND to relate economic theories or concepts to real life situations camille vergara<br />hmmm<br />oko<br />haha<br />zet sobejana<br />haha<br />camille vergara<br />are our questions ok na?<br />for the NGO?<br />zet sobejana<br />hmm. wait..<br />guess so!<br />hahaha<br />Miss said the appendix should be in tagalog, right?<br />I can fix it<br />wait lang..<br />how do we start the outline?<br />camille vergara<br />yup tagalog<br />can you translate nalang ummm<br />I HAVE NO IDEA<br />hahaha<br />i think its just step by step<br />so it can be 1.2.3.4.5.<br />zet sobejana<br />huh?<br />haha<br />camille vergara<br />i mean. numbered<br />hahahaha<br />zet sobejana<br />I know<br />but how do we start it?<br />it's a sentence outline daw<br />OH!<br />livelihood skills = LABOR skills!<br />camille vergara<br />yeah thats what i thought<br />isnt that like their job<br />?<br />oh. you mean the first step?<br />zet sobejana<br />yup, job<br />yeaaap<br />camille vergara<br />1. We will prepare a set of questions to ask the members of the various households to be interviewed.<br />????<br />!<br />its so sabaw<br />zet sobejana<br />hahah idunno err..<br />and then?<br />interview at least 15 househods?<br />camille vergara<br />hahaha yeah<br />or...<br />Find an appropriate barangay with the right number of households that's also safe, etc ?<br />zet sobejana yeah!<br />and then when we have a barangay na, let's intervie at least 15 households<br />camille vergara<br />yup<br />and then<br />zet sobejana<br />haha<br />camille vergara<br />find an ngo that has poverty alleviation programs that involve our barangay?<br />(so thats kanlungan)<br />and then<br />zet sobejana<br />waiiiiit!<br />camille vergara<br />interview them<br />zet sobejana<br />so just 3 bullets under HH??<br />camille vergara<br />i guess...<br />what else can we do? sorry dc<br />anyway<br />yeah just that...what else can we do? zet sobejana<br />haha<br />okaayy!<br />you can do the outline na!!<br />it;<br />camille vergara<br />wait! is there anything else pa ba?<br />noooo<br />you naaaa<br />zet sobejana<br />NO<br />haha<br />im doing the appendixxxxxxxxxxx wait.. let's just finish the outline now<br />but you type it. please?<br />camille vergara<br />how do i type ittttttttt PLEASEEEE<br />you naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa<br />zet sobejana<br />UNFAIRRRRR<br />camille vergara<br />plus im on a different computer. this one has no word!<br />how should i format it though?<br />zet sobejana<br />hmmm<br />wait lang..<br />Povery Alleviation: Case Study ---title<br />there use the format for normal outlines<br />sentence outline camille vergara<br />A ;LASJD;LKSJDLKJFSDF<br />unfairrrr<br />i'll make the appendix! zet sobejana<br />Im helping you with the outline na!<br />hahaha<br />camille vergara<br />actually no. kidding. thats tagalog pala<br />i helped with the questions! zet sobejana<br />let'sfinish it now<br />just edit it later<br />camille vergara zet sobejana<br />AY!<br />camille vergara<br />hahaha<br />zet sobejana<br />camiiillleeee<br />DEMON!!!<br />hahahahah<br />camille vergara<br />HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA<br />i super laughed talaga<br />ANYWAY<br />zet sobejana<br />hahahah camille vergara<br />FINEEEE<br />zet sobejana<br />yeaaaaaaaaahhh anywaaay<br />P<br />camille vergara<br />but i'll show it to you first before printing<br />zet sobejana<br />haha<br />okay<br />camille vergara<br />ok ok<br />soooo<br />zet sobejana<br />so ngo's?<br />camille vergara<br />soooo the HH thing is that one na? kanina?<br />sure?<br />hahaha i hope te other groups do something like that zet sobejana<br />haha<br />yup<br />that's okay na<br />so for NGO's?<br />look for the NGO that helps the barangay we chose?<br />Interview<br />ask for recommendations<br />...<br />??<br />camille vergara<br />recommendations for what?<br />zet sobejana<br />practical recommendations on poverty alleviation?<br />camille vergara<br />arent we supposed to make the recommendations?<br />i think we are<br />like based on their projects<br />we're supposed to recommend how to improve<br />so it can be<br />look for an NGO<br />then interview<br />zet sobejana<br />yup.. but miss said that we should base the recommendations on the recommendations of the NGO's<br />camille vergara<br />then based on their answers, recommend stuff<br />HA?/ labo<br />zet sobejana<br />hahah<br />base our recommendations on their answers nga camille vergara<br />but i mean answers to the interview<br />but nevermind<br />ill make it like yours nalang<br />so<br />look for the NGO<br />interview<br />ask them how they think they can better their programs? like ideally (thats their recommendations na)<br />and then for us naman, based on their answers, recommend stuff<br />yeah?<br />zet sobejana<br />yup! okay, under recommendations<br />1) ideal recommendations of NGO's<br />2) our recommendations<br />?<br />camille vergara<br />sooo<br />1. look for ngo<br />2. interview<br />3. formulate recommendations<br />3.a.from NGO<br />3.b.from us? zet sobejana<br />haha<br />so just 2 major points?<br />HH and NGO?<br />camille vergara<br />i dont get it<br />how do i write the outline? zet sobejana<br />put 2 major points: HH and NGO<br />then put the the stuff we discussed<br />camille vergara<br />okay<br />so<br />title<br />then<br />I. Household<br />1. 2. 3.?<br />like that??<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-8596381148736563815?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-32043342028351761212007-10-09T01:45:00.001-07:002007-10-09T01:45:11.224-07:00I just spent <i><b>two and a half fucking hours</b></i> moving Vysaka (my old computer) from my room to upstairs because dad bought her off me, so that I could buy Tenrai (curent laptop). So I get her all disconnected and dismantled (there-by also disconnecting our internet which is hard lined though her) and carried her piece-by-heavy-piece upstairs into their bedroom. I got her all hooked up and all put back together...only to find out the internet <i>won't work upstairs</i>. So after finaly giving up, I take the router and try hooking it up down here though Tenrai...only to find the <i>only</i> phone jack the 'net'll work on is the one by my computer desk <i>on the other side of my room</i>. Which sort of defeats my bying a wireless laptop in the first place. <b>::headesk::</b> We finaly gave up, and I brought Vysaka back downstairs and hooked up the net again, which took another 45 min just to get it all back to where I was <i>two and a half hours before</i>. <b>::banging head repeatedly::</b> We had Quest out here <i>three times</i> to fix this very problem and they <i>swore</i> that they'd fixed the problem. <b>::wimpering::</b> So to console myself, I signed up with ...which now I'm freeking out on because that's <i>huge</i>, so to console myself with <i>that</i>, I'm gunna do a meme I gacked from : <i>Name your top six TV shows right now, before reading the questions.</i> (I'm going with a random collection of curent and past favs) 1. Stargate Atlantis<br />2. dueSouth<br />3. X-Files<br />4. Star Trek: Voyager<br />5. Doctor Who<br />6. Red Dwarf <br /><b>01. Who is your favourite character from #2? </b><br />Ray Kowalski. CKR will always be my favorate on <i>any</i> show. <b>::G::</b> <b>02. Who is your least favourite character from #4? </b><br />Neelix. I meen...my god, you have to <i>ask</i>? Anyone who says they <i>liked</i> him is either very very stoned, or thinking of someone else. Or lieing. <b>03. What would a crossover between #1 and #5 include? </b><br /><b>::snort::</b> Actualy, there's a whole LiveJournal comunity <i>based on this</i>, , though it's acutaly called "Ancients And Time Lords! <b>::LOL::</b> But mostly I'd just love to see Rodney getting all upset at seeing Rose flirt with John, and the Doctor getting a little upset by it to, but John reasures them all that he's not intrested by makeing out with Rodney. <b>04. Who is your favourite ship from #6? </b><br />Dang, the one show on this list that I actulay <i>don't</i> ship at all. Honestly? Anyone you <i>could</i> ship on this show I'd find very squickey. <b>05. If you were to set one person from #3 and one person from #6 on a blind date, who would they be? </b><br /><b>::snort::</b> Oh, I just got the image of Krychek out on a blind date with Rimmer. Oh GOD, now I wanna see that!! <b>::ROTFL::</b> Or Lister trying to get Scully to like him, and Scully just keeps giving Mulder these "Oh GOD get me out of here!!" looks. <b>06. If you could meet one person from #4 and spend the day with them, who would it be, and what would you do? </b><br />Tom Paris, probably. I think he'd be the coolest one to just hang out and do random, cool stuff with. I'd start by mocking Neelix's atempts at brakefast, and then retiring to his quorters for Peanut Butter Toast instead. Then I'd let him try to teach me Pool at Sandrines, and then maybe some Holoboarding. Then maybe let Harry sarinade us while we Park in the old Ford...where I tease him about not really wanting to be there with me, and then help him set up a way to impress B'Lanna. Then I work with Harry to get those to together. <b>::big grin:: ::winks::</b> <b>07. If you could change one thing about #2's plot line, what would you change? </b><br />I'd let RayK and Fraser actualy <i>kiss</i> on the show, not just in the bloopers. The actors were so openly okay with everyone thinking their chractors were gay together, and <i>they</i> had so much fun with that, even writing stuff into the show like them rideing off into the sunset together in the last ep, that it really wouldn't take much to let them be openly together on the show. I meen, it <i>was</i> a <i>Canadian</i> show, after all... <b>08. Explain a relationship between two people (not necessarily romantic) from show #5, and why you like the relationship between them. </b><br />I'll admit it, I'm a big Rose/Doctor shipper. I never really saw him in love with one of his companions before, though I missed a bunch of Ramana eps, but I don't really count her since she was actualy another Time Lord. But Rose could really hold her own with him, even in the non-romantic sence. She trusted him <i>and</i> had faith in him, which is something a lot of people can't do both of. She saw him at his worst and trusted that he'd return to his best eventuly, and stood by him no matter what. I love that about them. They trusted <i>eachother</i>, even when they didn't particularly like eachother in the moment. <b>09. If the lead title characters (first name in the credits) from #1 and #3 were both drowning, and you could only save one, who would it be? </b><br />John Sheppard, because Mulder could come back from the dead pretty much anytime he wanted, where as John can only come back from the <i>mostly</i> dead... <b>10. If you could change the title characters' order in the credits for #4, what order would you choose? </b><br />Tom, B'Lanna, Harry, Doctor, Janeway, Tuvoc, Seven, Chakotay, Kes, Nelex. From order of "best" to "one I want to shoot the most". <b>11. If you were able to add a new character, any kind of character you wanted, to the storyline for #6, what would the character be like, and what would their role be? </b><br />Oh, though one...I think I'd like to bring in an actual love intrest for Kochanski, just so that we could see Lister <i>actualy</i> trying to win her, not just trying to get her. And watch him sabotage the compition, too, of course, with mixed results. And quietly being sweet to her when she dosn't realise some great thing he's actualy done for her. And watch everyone else either help or hinder him. And watch Kryten trying to do anything to keep Lister away from her, while having to help him at the same time because he's under orders. Oh, that'd actualy be quite fun. I really don't <i>care</i> if Kochanski ends up with anyone, and I don't particularly want Lister to win her, either, just the situation would be fun. <b>12. What happens in your favourite episode of show #2? </b><br />Mounty On The Bounty: RayK and Fraser finaly come to blows when they just can't understand eachother, but even as they deside to go their seprate ways, they end up working "one last case" involving a ghost ship, and the song "32 Down On The Robert McKenzie". And though they're still mad at eachother, and they still don't <i>undersatnd</i> eachother, they do remember why they <i>trust</i> eachother, and learn that they don't <i>need</i> to <i>understand</i> to <i>trust</i>, and with Trust they can do anything. Can <i>solve</i> anything. And in the end, be happy. <b>13. If you could kill off one of the characters in #1, who would it be and how would you do it? </b><br />Amaizingly, SGA is one of the few shows I've ever been a fan of where I <i>don't</i> have that one main chractor (::cough::Buffy::cough::cough::) that I absolutly can't stand. The ones I do hate, I'm <i>suposed</i> to hate, like Kavanagh and Koyla. I do, however, think that bringing Sam onto the show is a <i>huge, <b>huge</b></i> mistake, so for now, I'll say her, and hope that she dies in some way that makes Rodney incredibly guilt ridden for not being able to save her, like he has to chose between saving the city and her, or to save John or her, and he chooses to save the others/to save John. But then she gets to Ascend, and comes back to tell him that he did the right thing, and let himself be happy and to take a chance at happyness with John. Then she gets to De-Asend go back to re-join SG1 on her own damned show. <b>14. If you got the chance to visit the set for either show #3 or show #5, which would you choose? </b><br />Oh, that's a hard one...3 has Dean Haglund and Nick Lea, but 5 has David Tennant...hum... Man, that's <i>really</i> hard... Doctor Who is filmed in Cardif, so I'd get a free trip to Whales, which would rock, and I'd probably get to skip over to see Torchwood, too, where as The X-Files was oringaly filmed up here in Vancouver, so no cool trip over the pond...but Vancouver is home to a <i>lot</i> of my favorate shows, so I could maybe hit a bunch. But then they ended the seires filming in California, which sucks...but that's where lives, so I could go see her! Oh, that just makes it harder! Oh, I honestly don't know! Ow, brain hurt! Fangirl Pain! Okay, flipping a coin: Heads, I go to DW, Tails, XF...I did two outta three, and it was heads all three times, so I guess I'd be going to Whales! Woot! (Sorry, Sel!) <b>15. If you could date anyone from any of these shows, which show and which person? </b><br />Hum...Another hard one. The problem is, the ones I'd date are all my OTPs, so I <i>couldn't</i> sleep with them because they're in love with the other person! I can't be an OTP-Wrecker! <b>::LOL::</b> Uhmm....in that case, I think I'll chose Doctor Who so I can sleep with Captain Jack, because he's not OTP with anyone, though he is possibly in love with Rose and the Doctor, and he's someone I can happily have a threesom (or more some) <i>with</i> their OTP and keep everyone happy and in love. OH! Langly! I can date Langly because he's not an OTP either! Yay! Okay, yah, I'd <i>sleep</i> with Cap'm Jack, but I'd <i>date</i> Langly. Yay! (Oh, does that make me sound kinda slut-ish? <b>::winces::</b>)<br /> <b>::lets out a deep breath:: ::streches:: ::happy grin::</b> Okay, I feel much, much better now. I tag...someone else who wants to Meme on their LJ. <b>::G::</b><br><p><br><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-3204334202835176121?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-75379652317692630912007-10-09T01:20:00.001-07:002007-10-09T01:20:58.815-07:00This is my Computer Ethics homework: "Case 1: trapped in an Underwater Sea-Cave<br />In an effort to alleviate end-of-the-term stress related to exams and term<br />papers you professor has invited you to join her on a trip to an underwater<br />sea-cave. You, along with your classmates (31 in all), agree to go and are<br />happy to be told that no scuba gear will be necessary--the sea-cave is only<br />underwater at high tide which won't occur for several hours. Afte exploring<br />the sea-cave for over an hour you notice a slight tremor and that the only<br />opening to the cave has become narrower. With hogh tide approaching you and<br />your classmates decide to exit the cave and one of them--through no fault of<br />her own--Ginger, gets stuck. In fact, so stuck that she cannot be pulled<br />back or pushed out. Moreover, it just so happens that her head is above high<br />tide. It looks pretty bad for you and the rest of your classmates who are<br />stuck down in the cave with the water rising. Except, one of you has brought<br />a stick of dynamite and a match--and there is only one place that it can be<br />used. You could, shove the dynamite next to Ginger, blow her up, and at the<br />same time widen the opening so that no one gets stuck. What, morally, should<br />you do?" God I hope I don't meet Ginger, she'd be fucked for the greater good.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-7537965231769263091?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-51806527713656872852007-10-09T00:54:00.001-07:002007-10-09T00:54:46.717-07:00&nbsp; <ul style="MARGIN-TOP:0in;MARGIN-BOTTOM:0in;MARGIN-LEFT:0.02in;DIRECTION:ltr;unicode-bidi:embed;"> <p lang="en-US" style="FONT-SIZE:12pt;MARGIN:0in;FONT-FAMILY:Calibri;">HI TETSKI!</p> <p lang="en-US" style="FONT-SIZE:12pt;MARGIN:0in;FONT-FAMILY:Calibri;">&nbsp;</p> <p lang="en-US" style="FONT-SIZE:12pt;MARGIN:0in;FONT-FAMILY:Calibri;">Hope your weekend was as great as ever!</p> <p lang="en-US" style="FONT-SIZE:12pt;MARGIN:0in;FONT-FAMILY:Calibri;">&nbsp;</p> <p lang="en-US" style="FONT-SIZE:12pt;MARGIN:0in;FONT-FAMILY:Calibri;">Me?<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Hmmm…. The remainder of the week was dry yet gloomy; conducive to slumber.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>My aunt is here for a visit and we've been kind of busy cooking.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>LOL!<span style="">&nbsp; </span>But not anything extraordinary.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Mga kung ano-ano lang na maisipan. </p> <p lang="en-US" style="FONT-SIZE:12pt;MARGIN:0in;FONT-FAMILY:Calibri;">&nbsp;</p> <p lang="en-US" style="FONT-SIZE:12pt;MARGIN:0in;FONT-FAMILY:Calibri;">When I was in Dubai, our diet just went around on beef and chicken.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>But I have had issues with beef, since I discovered that the beef shawarma they sell on the streets are mutton beef and not cow's.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>It wasn't as bad as you think it is but still, I can't handle the taste, but far more important for me is the aftertaste, ang pangit talaga sa panlasa ko.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>So, it was just chicken most of the time.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Pork was definitely out of our diet.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>First, only 2 supermarkets sell pork and second, boss doesn't allow pork in the house.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>It worked for me, though.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Pabor kung baga since iwas high blood.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Pero syempre since it's part of our diet, miss din natin kahit paano.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>So one time, si Kuya Isma (asawa ni Mimi), nagdala ng baboy na pangsigang.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Grabe, we were all so excited.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Pag dating pa lang ni Kuya Isma, we were looking forward to dinner.<span style="">&nbsp; </span></p> <p lang="en-US" style="FONT-SIZE:12pt;MARGIN:0in;FONT-FAMILY:Calibri;">&nbsp;</p> <p lang="en-US" style="FONT-SIZE:12pt;MARGIN:0in;FONT-FAMILY:Calibri;">(Kuya Isma stays in his separate accommodation, about an hour away from where we are.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>It could have been only 20 minutes via private transport.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>He goes there at our place once a week which was during his days-off; sleeps there for 2 nights and back to work after.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Mimi couldn't stay with him at his accommodation since it's not allowed.)</p> <p lang="en-US" style="FONT-SIZE:12pt;MARGIN:0in;FONT-FAMILY:Calibri;">&nbsp;</p> <p lang="en-US" style="FONT-SIZE:12pt;MARGIN:0in;FONT-FAMILY:Calibri;">All set.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>The table is ready and we were all starving!<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Nagsandok na si Kuya Isma and we were all at the table.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Umuusok pa ang sabaw!<span style="">&nbsp; </span>I was actually disappointed at my first sip of the broth.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Me lasa kasi!<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Sa Filipino term, they call it maanggo; siguro another term for malansa, in a different category, hehehehehe….<span style="">&nbsp; </span>After that day, I didn't want to try pork again, at least not in Dubai.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>I asked Cristy about that and she said it's probably the supplier.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Kasi nga since Dubai naman is an Islamic country, they don't really sell meat and it probably came from some pig farm with low standards.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>But before that, I was asking myself, is it me, or the pork that has problem?<span style="">&nbsp; </span>But I never found out until I got here.</p> <p lang="en-US" style="FONT-SIZE:12pt;MARGIN:0in;FONT-FAMILY:Calibri;">&nbsp;</p> <p lang="en-US" style="FONT-SIZE:12pt;MARGIN:0in;FONT-FAMILY:Calibri;">I remember when I called to say I was coming home, Pinx asked me kung anong gusto ko and I immediately told her, "baboy!"<span style="">&nbsp; </span>hehehehehe….<span style="">&nbsp; </span>I had issues with pork pagdating ko dito.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Natatakot kasi akong kumain because baka nga tama yong hinala ko na yong taste buds ko ang nagbago.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Pero still, that's the first thing I asked for.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>During the first days I was home, iba nga.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>But there's really nothing wrong with my taste buds nor the pork, it was actually the fact na nanibago ako with the diet.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Right now, I am still not very much into pork.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Pero ngayon, it's two things:<span style="">&nbsp; </span>first the taste and second, it's health. </p> <p lang="en-US" style="FONT-SIZE:12pt;MARGIN:0in;FONT-FAMILY:Calibri;">&nbsp;</p> <p lang="en-US" style="FONT-SIZE:12pt;MARGIN:0in;FONT-FAMILY:Calibri;">Anywayyy….</p> <p lang="en-US" style="FONT-SIZE:12pt;MARGIN:0in;FONT-FAMILY:Calibri;">&nbsp;</p> <p lang="en-US" style="FONT-SIZE:12pt;MARGIN:0in;FONT-FAMILY:Calibri;"><span style="COLOR:blue;">FRIENDSTER</span>.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Yeah, baduy!<span style="">&nbsp; </span>But not in the true sense of the word.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Actually, it's not that it's baduy nowadays.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Kasi it has always been baduy to me.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Forgive the term, pero that's how I really see it kahit noon pa.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>I am actually looking for a term other than baduy but I couldn't find one.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>The way I see it, you really should have an account because that's where a lot of people go to get in touch with a lot of people.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>It's the place to be (remember… Cindy's?<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Lalalalalala… Cindy's is the place to be…. ) if you want to look for friends (I guess you'd say… it's living true to its word… heheheheh).<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Had it been first to offer blog, baka nawili na rin ako doon.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>I remember kasi, when I found out about it, I was already with live journal, although I don't really know who came first.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Then, at first you can't do anything with friendster but add friends and you can only upload like 5 photos.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>And I wanted a site where I can write more and can do more.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Pero, still, diyan maraming mga tao.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>That's where I found some of our common friends who I haven't seen for years.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Tell me right away pag me account ka na.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>And I really suggest you update it frequently kasi yong iba, they go there to know more about you and to look at your pictures as well as your kids'.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Cool din naman pero I still prefer weblogs.</p> <p lang="en-US" style="FONT-SIZE:12pt;MARGIN:0in;FONT-FAMILY:Calibri;">&nbsp;</p> <p lang="en-US" style="FONT-SIZE:12pt;MARGIN:0in;FONT-FAMILY:Calibri;">Busy-person friendly <a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://www.soujourner.multiply.com/"><u><font color="#0000ff">MULITPLY</font></u></a>.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>I really think you should update your multiply.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>I share Bebot's wanting for you to update it.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>I was actually going to tell you that you would see more of what I did with my last e-mail to you.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>You might probably have observed that I just linked you to two of my posts.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>I did it since it goes well, too, for my other friends who visit the site every now and then.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>That's the good thing about it.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>What I like is the fact that you don't have to write multiple letters especially for simple events that could be shared with anyone.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Personal e-mails still work for me since it still imposes the depth of the friendship/relationship that one has with another.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Although in multiply, you can also choose who can read/view your posts.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Also, in weblogs (see, not necessarily in multiply alone), I find it easier to communicate with friends.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>As you know, you only have to upload photos once and the viewer doesn't have to wait to download the photos which comes as an attachment.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Also, the cool thing about it is the fact that one couldn't send an MP3 file (at least not that I know of) via e-mail.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>That was why I linked you to my blog to listen to <span style="COLOR:blue;">Jim Chappell</span>.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Also, now, I am into one of our local bands called <span style="COLOR:blue;">Pinikpikan</span>, and you can listen to them on my weblog.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>So, kumbinsido ka na ba namin ni Bebot?<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Hehehehehe….<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Update mo na ha… LOL!<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Oh yeah, and one more thing, you can set your posts only to be seen by you.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>"for you" is the setting, tapos, you can specify the people you want to see your posts.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Tapos, kung ayaw mo pa nito, puwede mo lang i-share yong entry mo, just by clicking share underneath every entry that you make.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>It will lead you to a page where you can either embed or e-mail the post.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Siguro alam mo na to, but then, I just want to convince you.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Later on, you might also want to share it with your friendster high school friend.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>And still later on, we might refer to each other's entries.</p> <p lang="en-US" style="FONT-SIZE:12pt;MARGIN:0in;FONT-FAMILY:Calibri;">&nbsp;</p> <p lang="en-US" style="FONT-SIZE:12pt;MARGIN:0in;FONT-FAMILY:Calibri;">You might be surprised if I tell you that so far, you've been the longest correspondent I have had whether by e-mail or post; two straight months!<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Hehehehehe…<span style="">&nbsp; </span>I have friends who write me every now and then.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>I have friends who were there especially when I was about to get out of my comfort zone, and when I was already out there, and still now that I am here.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>I have been trying to reach out time and again to old friends, but none of them seem to be interested.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>I have just settled to the fact that people really come and go; some stays and some doesn't at all.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>But it still gives me content that at least I tried.</p> <p lang="en-US" style="FONT-SIZE:12pt;MARGIN:0in;FONT-FAMILY:Calibri;">&nbsp;</p> <p lang="en-US" style="FONT-SIZE:12pt;MARGIN:0in;FONT-FAMILY:Calibri;">MUSIC.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Sa ngayon, I'm not really into buying albums.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>It was one of my projects nong nasa call center pa ako and regular na ako, I said I was going to buy 2 CDs every month; one local and one foreign, to keep me updated, pero ang hirap ding pakawalan kasi mahal din, Php 250-300 for an album.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Tas nong nagpunta ako sa Dubai, it was one of my projects.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>But I've been wanting to own a PSP so nauna yon over the iPOD.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Pero now, as soon as I get back, first project would be the iPOD.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Primarily because you can put a chip that is in sync with a pair of Nike AirMax Plus, which I don't have yet…. Hehehehehe….<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Grabe naman kasi… before I left for Dubai, tumingin na ako non kaso ang mahal naman!!!<span style="">&nbsp; </span>So sabi ko, saka na lang.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Kaya medyo naudlot yang project na yan.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>I think it was because kakalabas lang niyan noon kaya ang mahal pa.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Pero I'm still a little bit aprehensive kasi I have no idea how can you buy songs sa iPOD.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Oh well, anyway, matagal pa yan, baka after Christmas na….<span style="">&nbsp;&nbsp; </span>Right now, I make do with the MP3 player Cristy sent me.<span style="">&nbsp; </span></p> <p lang="en-US" style="FONT-SIZE:12pt;MARGIN:0in;FONT-FAMILY:Calibri;"><span class="insertedphoto"><a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://soujourner.multiply.com/photos/hi-res/upload/RwsxvwoKCqkAAHQyK141"><img class="alignright" src="http://images.soujourner.multiply.com/image/1/photos/upload/300x300/RwsxvwoKCqkAAHQyK141/P9130011.JPG?et=V0xH25Dxd%2CrL%2CUZhjcwbHg" border="0"></a></span></p> <p lang="en-US" style="FONT-SIZE:12pt;MARGIN:0in;FONT-FAMILY:Calibri;">&nbsp;</p> <p lang="en-US" style="FONT-SIZE:12pt;MARGIN:0in;FONT-FAMILY:Calibri;">Pinx is still teaching aerobics.&nbsp; I think that's the only thing she wants to do.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>She's fine though.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>She looks good also and a lot of people admire her figure.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>There was a time na talaga namang namayat siya and she looked like she was sick.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>That was during the time na she offered classes everyday and it wasn't really a good idea kaya I told her to just do it thrice a week to let her body recover.<span style="">&nbsp; </span></p> <p lang="en-US" style="FONT-SIZE:12pt;MARGIN:0in;FONT-FAMILY:Calibri;"><span style=""><span class="insertedphoto"><a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://soujourner.multiply.com/photos/hi-res/upload/RwsylQoKCqkAAAIzyds1"><img class="alignleft" src="http://images.soujourner.multiply.com/image/1/photos/upload/300x300/RwsylQoKCqkAAAIzyds1/P1190027.JPG?et=e2rm8%2BxFFgjnlsD2GcPDBA" border="0"></a></span></span></p> <p lang="en-US" style="FONT-SIZE:12pt;MARGIN:0in;FONT-FAMILY:Calibri;">&nbsp;</p> <p style="MARGIN:0in;">&nbsp;</p> <p lang="en-US" style="FONT-SIZE:12pt;MARGIN:0in;FONT-FAMILY:Calibri;">&nbsp;</p> <p lang="en-US" style="FONT-SIZE:9pt;MARGIN:0in;FONT-FAMILY:Calibri;"><u><font color="#0000ff"></font></u>&nbsp;</p> <p lang="en-US" style="FONT-SIZE:9pt;MARGIN:0in;FONT-FAMILY:Calibri;"><u><font color="#0000ff"></font></u>&nbsp;</p> <p lang="en-US" style="FONT-SIZE:9pt;MARGIN:0in;FONT-FAMILY:Calibri;"><u><font color="#0000ff"></font></u>&nbsp;</p> <p lang="en-US" style="FONT-SIZE:9pt;MARGIN:0in;FONT-FAMILY:Calibri;"><u><font color="#0000ff"></font></u>&nbsp;</p> <p lang="en-US" style="FONT-SIZE:9pt;MARGIN:0in;FONT-FAMILY:Calibri;"><u><font color="#0000ff"></font></u>&nbsp;</p> <p lang="en-US" style="FONT-SIZE:9pt;MARGIN:0in;FONT-FAMILY:Calibri;"><u><font color="#0000ff"></font></u>&nbsp;</p> <p lang="en-US" style="FONT-SIZE:9pt;MARGIN:0in;FONT-FAMILY:Calibri;"><u><font color="#0000ff"></font></u>&nbsp;</p> <p lang="en-US" style="FONT-SIZE:12pt;MARGIN:0in;FONT-FAMILY:Calibri;">&nbsp;</p> <p lang="en-US" style="FONT-SIZE:12pt;MARGIN:0in;FONT-FAMILY:Calibri;">&nbsp;</p> <p lang="en-US" style="FONT-SIZE:12pt;MARGIN:0in;FONT-FAMILY:Calibri;">&nbsp;</p> <p lang="en-US" style="FONT-SIZE:9pt;MARGIN:0in;FONT-FAMILY:Calibri;">&nbsp;</p> <p lang="en-US" style="FONT-SIZE:9pt;MARGIN:0in;FONT-FAMILY:Calibri;">&nbsp;</p> <p lang="en-US" style="FONT-SIZE:9pt;MARGIN:0in;FONT-FAMILY:Calibri;"><a rel="nofollow"><u><font color="#0000ff">This was taken sometime last year during one of my walks.</font></u></a><a rel="nofollow"><u><font color="#0000ff"></font></u></a></p> <p lang="en-US" style="FONT-SIZE:12pt;MARGIN:0in;FONT-FAMILY:Calibri;">Dad had a check-up last Saturday and it was very comforting to know that all his counts are normal, especially the blood pressure and his sugar.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>He used to swim a lot but since the swimming pool (photo above) he frequents was not maintained anymore (for political and corrupted reasons),<span style="">&nbsp; </span>wala na siyang magpag-swimmingan.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>The alternative was like a town away and it's private and not Olympic size, in short, resort… hehehehe….<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Right now, he continued his early morning walks instead.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Dati na niya kasing ginagawa yon, in fact he met a lot of friends his age during that time.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Ang dami pati nilang gimmiks.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>We used to joke him na mas marami pa silang gimik na mga senior citizens kesa sa amin.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>But in time, some of his friends got sick, got tired and a few already died kaya medyo nabawasan na ang mga pumpunta doon sa complex.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Recently, he started to wander along the rice fields.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>This is something new since dati, he just uses the oval.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Good for him because I think it's his time.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Una nga, I was planning to walk with him, pero I thought maybe it's his own space kaya I never went with him.<span style="">&nbsp; </span></p> <p lang="en-US" style="FONT-SIZE:12pt;MARGIN:0in;FONT-FAMILY:Calibri;">&nbsp;</p> <p lang="en-US" style="FONT-SIZE:12pt;MARGIN:0in;FONT-FAMILY:Calibri;">TV SHOWS. I am curious about "The L World"<span style="">&nbsp; </span>but never got to watch any.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>We have Grey's Anatomy, Desperate Housewives, Heroes, Lost and a lot more.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>I used to follow LOST but never got into it when I was in Dubai.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>I was lucky to have seen the last six episodes when I got here.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>In Dubai, the room the I landed into only had TFC and two movie channels which mostly shows B-movie actions films and the rest being UAE channels.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>We have to pay additional for every channel to subscribe.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Then, when I transferred to the home-office, we don't even have t.v. there…. LOL….<span style="">&nbsp; </span>So, it's kinda I don't miss any at all.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>We used to follow 'Sex and the City' years ago.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Then, we found "LOST" and got very much into it.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>I was planning to buy a whole season DVD (hoping I could watch in on my laptop) in Dubai but never got to.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>I miss "Six Feet Under" though.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Nowadays, I've settled to the fact that as long as I have my laptop and a book, that'll do.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Sa music naman, I make do with what I have on my file.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>There were a lot of MP3s that I had to erase though to maximize the speed.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>I think I'll get hold of Grey's Anatomy in DVD later on.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>I am quite intrigued that some of my friends send me quotes from this series.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>They say you can get a bootleg copy of it from somebody in Dubai.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>But I don't trust bootlegs anymore.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Kasi naman after a few plays, ayaw nang mag-play, nags-skip, etc.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>It's one of the reasons why I bought PSP, only to discover later that it only supports and exclusively supports UMD (Universal Media Disc format) for movies and it's quite hard to find movies in this format.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Siguro lalo na yang mga series.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Downloading things is really an option for me;<span style="">&nbsp; </span>movies, songs, games, etc, pero I have no idea how to do it.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Kasi I have this thinking that to be able to do that, you MUST first have a credit card, which I don't have right now.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>It would be easy when I get back to Dubai and get a job.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Kasi doon it's very easy to get a credit card once you have a job and an employment visa.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>But then siyempre, mahirap din me credit card.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>One thing that works for me is the EPS, which works the same as the debit card there.<span style="">&nbsp; </span></p> <p lang="en-US" style="FONT-SIZE:12pt;MARGIN:0in;FONT-FAMILY:Calibri;">&nbsp;</p> <p lang="en-US" style="FONT-SIZE:12pt;MARGIN:0in;FONT-FAMILY:Calibri;">Ayan, para na namang pancit ang sulat ko… LOL!<span style="">&nbsp; </span>I was wanting to be as brief and concise as possible….<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Pero I find it hard to convey it that way.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Kasi naman, there's always a story behind a story behind a story.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>And besides, I still find it quite comfortable writing to you the story behind the story.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>See, that's one difference between email and blogs.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>It could be the same anytime we want to lalo na pag busy na.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>Pero I stil hold that there is something unique and personal about e-mails.</p> <p lang="en-US" style="FONT-SIZE:12pt;MARGIN:0in;FONT-FAMILY:Calibri;">&nbsp;</p> <p lang="en-US" style="FONT-SIZE:12pt;MARGIN:0in;FONT-FAMILY:Calibri;">Meanwhile, check out my blog for other things….</p> <p lang="en-US" style="FONT-SIZE:12pt;MARGIN:0in;FONT-FAMILY:Calibri;">&nbsp;</p> <p lang="en-US" style="FONT-SIZE:12pt;MARGIN:0in;FONT-FAMILY:Calibri;">Take care and enjoy the rest of the week!</p> <p lang="en-US" style="FONT-SIZE:12pt;MARGIN:0in;FONT-FAMILY:Calibri;">&nbsp;</p> <p lang="en-US" style="FONT-SIZE:12pt;MARGIN:0in;FONT-FAMILY:Calibri;">P.S.</p> <p lang="en-US" style="FONT-SIZE:12pt;MARGIN:0in;FONT-FAMILY:Calibri;">Send my birthday greetings to Mitzi on the 16th.<span style="">&nbsp; </span>I wonder if she's also into e-mail correspondence?</p> <p lang="en-US" style="FONT-SIZE:12pt;MARGIN:0in;FONT-FAMILY:Calibri;">&nbsp;</p> <p lang="en-US" style="FONT-SIZE:12pt;MARGIN:0in;FONT-FAMILY:Calibri;">&nbsp;</p> <p lang="en-US" style="FONT-SIZE:12pt;MARGIN:0in;FONT-FAMILY:Calibri;">&nbsp;</p> <p lang="en-US" style="FONT-SIZE:12pt;MARGIN:0in;FONT-FAMILY:Calibri;">&nbsp;</p> <p lang="en-US" style="FONT-SIZE:12pt;MARGIN:0in;FONT-FAMILY:Calibri;">&nbsp;</p> <p lang="en-US" style="FONT-SIZE:12pt;MARGIN:0in;FONT-FAMILY:Calibri;"><span style=""></span>&nbsp;</p> <p lang="en-US" style="FONT-SIZE:12pt;MARGIN:0in;FONT-FAMILY:Calibri;">&nbsp;</p> <p lang="en-US" style="FONT-SIZE:12pt;MARGIN:0in;FONT-FAMILY:Calibri;">&nbsp;</p></ul><p class="multiply:no_crosspost"></p><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-5180652771365687285?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-25708661256776476942007-10-09T00:31:00.001-07:002007-10-09T00:31:31.427-07:00Okay, so... Rachael ( ) and I went out to dinner. Mostly because I'd had a SERIOUSLY foul day that had included telling off a senior partner at the firm and um, ended when my computer went on the futz. That meant drinks and fries at Red Robin! Now, we invade Red Robin oh, fairly often. Often enough that we can find out who's workin' and ask for the guys we want. Robi, Stephen, Trevor... ya know, the ones WE know are going to take GOOD care of us. Like, the other day? Robi went and made our fries special because the kitchen people were slackin'. THAT is good service and we love our guys. Tonight, however, Rachael says to me, "Hey, you know who Trevor would be good as?" I take a look and say, "Hermes!" Because Trevor has this HAIR that sticks up like... yeah. :D Gotta love it. Total Hermes hair. But see, Trevor likes to light shieze on fire whereas Stephen (our server for the evening) is studying finance (We'd decided that Stephen actually looked good as Loki, see). So, we switched. Trevor became the Almighty God of Blowing Shit Up and Stephen became Hermes, Ye Olde God o'Finance. And Quickness, because MAN was he on them fries. And alcohol. LOKI:<br /><img src="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y129/myiconstorage/loki1.jpg"> HERMES:<br /><img src="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y129/myiconstorage/hermes1.jpg"> ... once we explained the entire concept? They were <b>SO INTO IT!</b> They started POSING (as evidenced by Hermes, there) and yeah... here: <img src="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y129/myiconstorage/hermesloki2.jpg"> <img src="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y129/myiconstorage/hermesloki1.jpg"> ... Gotta love our boys! :D *HEE* Turns out Loki there? A huge Peter Petrelli fan.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-2570866125677647694?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-10104439783265604902007-10-09T00:16:00.001-07:002007-10-09T00:16:14.097-07:00At the dump, my parents were told to hand their old computers to a guy named Ernie.&nbsp; They did not trust the guy named Ernie with their hard drives or any of the data on them.&nbsp; So they asked me how to definitively get all the data off the drives.&nbsp; After I tried suggesting to take the drive to a tech who could wipe it, with them insisting it wasn't thorough enough, I moved to what I call the "Eddie Izzard solution." 1. You carefully locate, unscrew, and remove hard drive, full of sensitive data.<br />2. Then you smash it with a hammer.<br />3. Take everything to the dump. Beatles music optional. So...yeah.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-1010443978326560490?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-2282293675957215662007-10-09T00:00:00.001-07:002007-10-09T00:00:31.647-07:00&nbsp;So. I am busy procrastinating on doing my piece for workshop. Which is due tomorrow, incidentally. So, I was planning to finish off that one thing I started last year, got two parts into, and was afraid to touch the third for fear of murdering it. So, I'm rereading parts one and two, so I could remember WTF I had actually written. And. Um.&nbsp; God it is painful for me to read it now. I OFFICIALLY SUCK AT EVERYTHING EXCEPT DIALOGUE AND CHARACTER MOVEMENTS INDICATING EMOTIONS OF SOME SORT. Seriously. It PAINS me. Fuck.&nbsp;I fucking miss dialogue. Dialogue is so simple. That and first person monologue/rambly thingies. Apparently, all this blogging is doing me awesome for first person.&nbsp; ... I MISS DIALOGUE FUCK. Dude. Like, even if I get part three done now... argh. It'll either suck, in that I STILL can't do descriptions worth crap, or, on the flip side, it WON'T suck, and completely stand out from parts one and two and look really really weird and ARGH. EITHER WAY INVOLVES ME BANGING MY HEAD REPEATEDLY AGAINST THE NEAREST AVAILABLE HARD SURFACE. Of course, I SUPPOSE I could just avoid That Thing entirely by doing another scene from that one universe-which-I-will-so-fucking-turn-into-a-book-one-day-just-fucking-WATCH like I did for the reading last year... hrmm... *reads that one* Well. I hate my own writing less. So that wasn't a complete waste of time. Still. The whole doing a scene from that 'verse would require me to actually know what fucking scene to do. Seeing as how I've only got like... *mentally adds up*... five... six? Wow, you'd think I'd actually be able to do something with that. Ha. 'Sjust my luck they're all the hardest scenes to make actually LOOK GOOD ON PAPER without MURDERING THEM.&nbsp; I'd do something with the other&nbsp;main characters, but I haven't even figured out this one guy's fucking motivation yet. It's quite a predicament, SINCE HE IS TECHNICALLY THE INSTIGATOR OF THE ENTIRE PLOT. Fucker. He's too evil to be a goody-two-shoes/justwantstosavehisfriendsfamilyetc, and he's two much of a goody-two-shoes to be evil enough to wreck something ginormous just for the big 'splosion at the end. Plus, that is such an easy way out. YEAH HE'S EVIL/INSANE THAT'S WHY HE DUN IT. Anyways. Still no real, fucking clue over what I'm doing here. I am tempted to just go to bed and sleep on it, figure out exactly what the fuck I'm doing then, wake up, write like mad on the bus, write lack mad through Computer Programming, write like mad for half an hour after, edit,&nbsp;then email assignment an hour before class starts so photocopies can be made and I can do the reading for class in the remaining hour. Yet, I just KNOW I'll hate myself on the bus ride in the morning. On the one hand, I REALLY WANNA FUCKING FINISH THAT STUPID THING. On the other hand, I AM STARTING TO HATE IT A LITTLE and I kinda really like playing with the other characters. Also, it has come to my attention that when I strive to come across as "semi-serious" I just end up coming across as "yayz light-hearted fun liek woah :D!" Maybe it would've helped if they knew the characters like I do. But then I reread it again, and go "... well, fuck. I am amusing myself with my own writing... shit, this&nbsp;IS lighthearted fun. CURSES FOILED AGAIN" aaaand so on. ... fuck, I'll finish the fucking thing. Wait *thinks*...god, I'm not sure I can do it. How many fucking POV changes do I need... lessee.... switch one... switch... switch... FUCK. I think we can rule out that. So. Scene from 'Verse it is. Just need to think of a good one. I'll go do that now.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-228229367595721566?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-72226470085112807702007-10-08T23:48:00.001-07:002007-10-08T23:48:58.793-07:00Over this summer, I didn't really post much of anything. Largely, that's due to the fact it pales to the last, where (for the first time in my life) I went someplace outside the US that wasn't Mexico or Canada. I'll admit there was just something magical about having gone to Europe - a kind of feeling that you only come across every once in a while, but goddamn, you want to savor every bit of it for as long as you can. Of course, such a great thing came at a cost and that cost was the summer after. It would've been more bearable had not everyone else I knew were busier than I was and not having the budget to do much, you sort of get stuck between a rock and a hard place - mostly the hard place. So, I'll say why that is, and with the many things that made the whole season such an undesired affair to begin with. <br /><b>1. Judd Apatow Movies</b> I know this is probably an odd place to start, but I am anyway - if only because of the overwhelming praise that both Knocked Up and Superbad enjoyed even before release and soon after. I, of course, am once again part of the vast minority who came out of both movies a little less ecstatic than most others were. True, both films have their merits and those should be noted, but I can't help but feel that they're simply products of faux-populism in today's cinema. That isn't to say that, like Snakes on a Plane, it was practically engineered from beginning to end to be a piece of fluff made to entertain the typical movie-goer. Oh no, it's far worse, I think: it gives the illusion that it's risque and challenging, only to end up pandering towards a narrow world view that only the likes of the abhorrent Moral Majority or neoconservative Republicans would champion for. If not that, they're just simply far, far less than the sum of its own parts. Let's start with Knocked Up: as funny as the film was at times and its willingness to actually show couples feuding in a way that actual couples might (say, instead of vague romantic glances), it doesn't bother ever explaining why its two protagonists, Ben and Alison, are agreeing to go through a pregnancy - together nonetheless. Truth be told, neither individual seems to be made for each other and, through most of the film, it rings true more often than it does not. Alison, for all good reason, should have made completely different decisions than those shown in the movie. Her fling with Ben is but a one-nighter and the morning after, she knows it was a mistake from the beginning. Worst of all, when finding out about her pregnancy, expects this same man (whose only past-times involve smoking dope and making a pornographic website) to buck up and become responsible. Either she lacks a two-digit IQ (which she hides well) or, in this world, pregnancy makes you stupid. Considering the situation she's in: living with her older sister and brother-in-law, on the verge of a new career, and having little attachment to Ben - she may've well have gotten an abortion and not dealt with any of this shit. As much as I'm sure most people could argue against it (whether for "practical" or "moral" reasons - both of which are likely founded on emotional bias and, thus, most likely bullshit), it didn't make sense that she'd do this to herself. At no point is it ever suggested that she wants to have children or even be in a relationship of any sort with anyone at this time, as she's driven for independence (a far worthier cause) than motherhood. Besides that, Ben never shows interest in going along with any of this. Even if Alison did want the baby, for whatever reason, expecting this guy to be anything more than a lazy bastard is utterly befuddling. Of course, the film (or, more accurately, Apatow himself) can't let this happen - thus begins a barrage of plot elements introduced abruptly to make sure we get a happy ending that's totally implausible. It wouldn't be surprising for me to say that Ben, out of nowhere, finally feels obligated enough to try being more active on the fatherhood role. Earlier, not only does he mention, quite explicitly, that he's in the US illegally, but he doesn't have any notable skills that could get him an actual job. Maybe the somewhat pornographic site he and his fellow layabout housemates try to make throughout is supposed to suggest he might have some notable computer skills, but it doesn't really matter as it is never expanded upon at any point - he's just instantaneously skilled out of convenience, with greencard. I'll also go back to the abortion thing and say that, to me, it's pretty fucking heinous to never suggest it as a viable option with someone in Alison's scenario. The word is never uttered and those who suggest it (through other phrases) may've well been dressed as Snively Whiplash as they twirl their mustaches and hold a bloody fetus that they soon devour whole. Okay, that would've been ridiculous, but neither character who suggests it does so with a reasonable demeanor - they're caustic about it and, as such, the audience is expected to dislike them for offering such "abominable" advice. It seems, then, that Alison should only be allowed to carry the child (her productive rights be damned!) and that the end result should involve giving birth to it and living with it, even if it ends up ruining her life. But, again, nothing in this film follows any logic that might be found in the real world. In reality, her pregnancy would lead her to losing the same career she's been working hard for and I'm sort of doubtful that her sister, as supposedly caring as she is, would tolerate letting a woman who lets herself get pregnant leech off her and her husband (the latter who works his ass off, yet still seems to get nothing but complaints from the earlier). But, again, Alison's boss says that her being pregnant is now cool and hip (when the fuck did this happen?) and apparently this is a world where leeching is acceptable as money must grow on trees (this must also explain how Ben and his friends, despite lacking finances, can still live in a house), so she is always well off despite the fact this sort of thing takes a lot of money to deal with. So, it seems, Alison can't go through any actual hardship as (GASP!) that would suggest her having a baby - a product of a one night stand, no less - would be more detrimental to her being than anything else and that abortion might actually be a reasonable and, therefore, better option. It's the sort of world Pro-Lifers want to exist, but wouldn't admit to as it would only show their dislike of women's rights and their insistence on calling any woman with a healthy view on sex as a "slut". Superbad, on the other hand, is horrible if only because it's another teen movie, and one that's practically grasping for straws every minute. When it isn't using conventions of the sub-genre that had grown tiring ten years before, it loves to wallow in lots of jokes that are predominantly about the All Mighty Phallus. There's also two cops in the film, both of which seem to have had their antics based on those already found in Reno 911!, and a series of misadventures as three losers trying to get beer so they can also get laid (is there any other way for kids to have sex? Guess not...). A scene that is symptomatic of Superbad's lack of insight or ability to handle anything realistically is when Jonah Hill and Micheal Cera end up getting a ride to a party where, hopefully, they can get some booze for the pre-graduation bash they want to get to. During this time, Hill comes across a fairly cute, pixie-faced girl who rubs against him to Notorious B.I.G.'s "Big Poppa" (that doesn't have consequence to anything - I just like pointing out songs from one of my favorite rappers) like a cat in heat. After the song is over and the girl is done rubbing her estrogen over Hill's clothes, Hill tries get out of the place with beer in hand. Before finally reaching his exit, two guys notice that there's something funny smudged on Hill's pantleg. Is it ink? No. Probably some paint? Not at all. Oh God, are you telling me she had her <i>period</i> on his pants? Yes, yes she did. Now, maybe I'm the one who doesn't know anything and am just fooling myself, but it is really possible for a young woman, especially wearing some jean shorts and probably a undergarment and tampon under that, to get menstrual blood on a guy's pants? I'm sure if such a thing did happen, it'd make for a great story to tell among your friends when sharing tales of embarrassment, but I can't think of any incident to ever happen to remotely resemble such. The closest I ever came was having to end up using the women's restroom (as the men's was non-functioning) and had the misfortune of going into the wrong stall with an unflushed toilet, but none of it involved a woman doing so on any piece of my clothing. Well, same goes with anyone else, in fact. I wondered if any women had read the script and pointing out that, in fact, that probably never happens and, if it did, it would be even surprising to them. Obviously not, as it's still there, but it does show this film is largely rooted in the masculine teenage view on life which, in turn, seems to be completely ignorant of anything that would truly take place in this world. I mean, it must be, if you think women going through their cycle hop oh-so-hornily onto young men and leave their mark, if only to just gross them out. There's also the fact I just can't ever empathize with either Cera or Hill's characters on the basis that they're both incredibly self-involved (albeit differently) and never seem intent on doing anything of worth other than the next momentary distraction. True, most teenagers are like this - an aspect of the film that actually works - but at the same time, this is a fictional story and, as such, I could care less whether teens act like this or not when the two individuals whose journey we're supposed to care about is ruined by the simple fact there's nothing likable about either of them. Hill's Seth seems to be a closeted homosexual, and even moreso as he seems to only see the opposite sex as a means to proving otherwise. He becomes more intolerable with each passing minute as the guy's also a bit of a bully (if mostly to his own friends) and expects others to fall with him as he fails, if only he can live with himself. Cera is slightly more tolerable as he lacks the need to bully or pull down others down with him, but he's a coward who willing lets his friend get him in trouble and rarely ever speaks up about it. Hell, even when a girl who he likes finally gives some affection back (true, she's a little drunk, but she doesn't seem unaware of what's going on around her), he can't go through with it as it makes him uncomfortable - yet he let's his buddy treat him like a Japanese housewife and doesn't budge. Fuck, talk about not having your priorities straight... At the end of the day, the whole thing is about three guys hoping to get laid. It is also expected they learn a lesson, one that proclaims there is more to life than getting laid (do we need to be told this?) and that sometimes friendship doesn't always last long, or at least forever. These messages are obviously all trite and don't need to be said, having been said a million times before. What humorous scenes that are there were played ad nauseum in the ads and trailers, leaving the remainder to be made up of awkward conversations, mistakes and misunderstandings that lead to inconceivable results, and lots (and I mean <i>lots</i>) of underhanded homoeroticism. So, why go after these among the hundreds of others that're even worse than these two? Simple: the largely undeserved, hyperbolic, and lavish praise both seemed to gain for simply <i>existing</i>. I don't begrudge those who like either film (there's a lot to like about them), but please don't tell me (or convince me) either film is more than a fun night out to the theaters or to go out and rent something. Neither of them are anywhere near as good as Apatow's previous venture, The 40 Year Old Virgin, which was far more likable, consistent, and well realized than either Knocked Up or Superbad could ever dream of being in a billion years - but maybe that's the problem. Apatow, who had experience working in television and soon gained attention for 40YOV, was expected to bring out similar films soon after and, thus, the result we see now. They're just as entertaining, but neither original or surprising. I'm expecting there, by next year perhaps, to be another similar film that will even be more simplistic and less well written. Needless to say, I'm not spending a dime on it. <b>2. No Cape Cod</b> If there is a fate worse than death, it was being trapped at my grandmother's this summer. I'd go through the shitload of annoyances, stresses, and whatnot that seem to occur there, but I'd rather not bore anyone with such details. Just trust me when I say that, between having to converse with the non-matriarch of my father's family at any given point and pulling the trigger of a gun pointed right at your temple - I'd suggest the latter. I was hoping that my uncle Jeff, as well as my aunt Liz and two cousins, would decide to go on their annual trip to the Cape and I'd get an invitation. Unfortunately, they (like everyone else around me, it seems) were busy with many other things and it just wasn't an option this year. So, it just didn't happen. It would've been nice to visit with the other side of my family and to be able to go to the Cape again, hopefully to not only enjoy its beaches, but parts of nearby Boston as well. I get a little more than sick of Los Angeles County during the summer as not only does it get hotter than Hades (this year, there was a point where even the air conditioners in the house didn't do shit-all against the heat), but I'm around people who I wonder how I could've ever been genetically related to in the first place. Tolerable from time to time, but unbearable with more exposure. It didn't help that, due to my trip to Europe last year, finances were low and, in general, there just wasn't a lot of anything interesting happening. Hell, I even had a hard time convincing myself to go see a movie at times, as they all looked horrible to me (and they mostly were). In the end, it would've just made for a much needed distraction - too bad it never happened. <b>3. San Diego Comic Con</b> This might change soon enough, but I'm saying it now: no time in the near future will I ever go near a comicbook convention. You have the San Diego Comic Con to thank for that. It was more of an ordeal than anything else, especially given that the convention center had basically become an overglorified can of sardines in the first day and continued being such to the very end. It was never suggested that those who were managing this whole ordeal could tell some of the people going in and out that there was a limit to how many could actually be in there, which was probably why one would spend more time trying to navigate among the dense crowds to get to the desired location than actually enjoying anything that was actually happening there. I love having an excuse to spend more money on comics and comicbook-related material, but it felt less worth it here than it did at any other time I've gone to a convention. I'm already someone who could give less than a shit over The Big Two (i.e. Marvel and DC) and their new line-up of bottom-of-the-barrel, artistically-devoid superhero books for next year or a preview for something I'll more than likely be able to have the satisfaction of downloading a few weeks later anyway. No, I always enjoyed going to the booths and talking to the professionally creative types there. They feel like kindred spirits and you can carry an actual conversation with them, unlike 99% of the fanboys who roam the same floors. I even felt complimented when some of the artists there that gave me a sketch or two mentioned that, unlike everyone else there, I was giving something them interesting to draw rather than just another sketch of Batman or Superman. It was also nice to meet up with two individuals I had known for a while, Drew Edwards (the creator of the very entertaining <a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://www.halloweenman.com/">Halloweenman</a> - check it out!) and <a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://vacuumboy9.livejournal.com/">Steve Higgins</a>, who I had met before and had a chance to hang out a bit with him here. But, obviously, those were the best parts of this whole thing. Otherwise, it was like going through cardiac arrest for three days without a sign of relief in sight. I <i>might</i> go to Chicago again at some point, but I even doubt that as there will be as many people I despise as those whose company I'd enjoy and, again, the nature of the comicbook convention was killed for me with the inept planning and handling of the one in San Diego. <b>4. No Trip to Colorado</b> Although I could've put this along with Cape Cod, I didn't on the basis of preference. As much as I would've liked to have gotten away from SoCal for whatever period of time, Colorado is certainly far from where I've wanted to go. Still, it'd of been another possible escape from the general boredom that I was often inhabited by. My aunt Kim and uncle Mike had moved there and were, at the time, now putting one of my cousins through college (which, I hear, has not gone well) and also dealing with my other cousin, who is apparently the same hellion he always has been - now with teenage hormones replacing child-like ignorance. To an extent, maybe it is good that I didn't go, because then I would've had to drag my grandmother along. Neither Kim or Mike like her in their home, but they feel obligated to as she's family. I'm sure, if the situation were different, they would've probably liked to have me over as company and could've taken Charles (the aforementioned younger cousin) off their hands for a while. Oh well... <b>5. My Job</b> Over this summer, I had the privilege (yes, I mean that...) to have a job. It was strictly under the table, but it paid well and was close enough to where I could take a bus there and back. I also got to work with my hands, which is simply a fulfilling feeling to have at the end of the day. What made it a disappointment? The fact that I got stuck with an insane, narcissistic, and most-likely-racist hypochondriac for a boss. He's the kind of guy who, after ranting incoherently, would write down what he just said as though it's gold and complain about scents and smells that nobody else besides him can notice. Also, for a guy who works in a machine shop, he always seems to be on the verge of some horrible allergic outbreak that'll render him a vegetable. Then again, if that truly was the case, he wouldn't be working there. I always sensed that his perceived maladies were simply that: perceived. He claims to have been involved in some program that completely detoxifies your body (which, he also claims, rids of any psychological problems as well - like he even believes in such a thing...), yet I've never seen a man as sickly as he is. Is this so-called great program nothing more than a diet that renders your immune system useless? From what I've seen and heard, yes. True, my body is probably filled with so many vile toxins that I should probably not think about it, but I'd rather be sick and filled with disease than following any "program" the reduces me to someone who can't even walk through somewhere without a faint odor knocking me unconscious. Also, as a fanatical Christian, he was always attempting to "show me the light" by talking about his supposed conversations with Jesus (he claims he wasn't just praying) and basically paraphrasing things that he most likely read from Thomas Aquinas (who he just wouldn't shut the fuck up about - which I would've liked, as I despise Aquinas and all other overly religious "philosophers") and was told by the local priest at his church. Of course, he doesn't stop there: while he never outrightly says it, I just knew he was calling me genetically inferior on the basis I was Jewish (which I regret ever mentioning, even off-handedly, to him) through his none-too-subtle stories involving people of Jewish descent always (supposedly) failing in the steed of those who "truly believed". He also went on about Mexican-Americans not being able to get into colleges because they aren't as smart, but he changed to "'cause they weren't born in the states" when I brought up several Mexican-Americans do, in fact, go to college. The worst part of all this was that, at first, the guy seemed completely sand and rational. I got along with him well enough, but soon enough he starts treating me like a dick (he called it "being a boss", but apparently he forgot that he technically was supposed to on the first day - his fault, if anything) and unloading other crap upon me to make me feel increasingly uncomfortable. Eventually, I had it with that kind of shit and told him that, if he didn't stop, I'd just quit then and there. Luckily, I knew he liked the work I did and wouldn't throw away an extra helping hand because he wanted to go on about his bullshit beliefs and logic. So, from there, I worked the next two weeks, got paid, and never had to speak to him because he expected me to. So, if anything, I'm happy it did happen to way it did - it taught me how to behave with my next boss, if anything - and it was a good experience. Which, even for all the none-too-comfortable shit at the end, makes it the least disappointing part of this summer.<br /><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-7222647008511280770?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-35471933624473368102007-10-08T19:12:00.001-07:002007-10-08T19:12:04.726-07:00Bottom of the 5th inning, Yankees are trailing by 5.&nbsp;<br /><br />I don't get how Alex Rodriguez becomes such a bad player in the post season and how these kids playing for the Indians become post season greats without ever having played a single post season game. [Rodriguez hits a single to left with one out] I hope Rodriguez doesn't come back. It will be the nail in the coffin of the Yankees as <em>The Evil Empire</em>. I think it'll be the end of signing top notch expensive talent and the beginning of playing hard with good players. [Posada hits to the second baseman, then Matsui pops up to short; end of the fifth inning] It would have been better if the Yankees hadn't made it to the post season, then the franchise would seriously have thought about how to get back to the championship ways of the late '90s.&nbsp;<br /><br />If I were the general manager I'd let Rodriguez go. Then find some young arms, from within the farm system or trade for young arms. Maybe trade Matsui or Abreu for good pitchers? The bullpen needs serious help. Joba Chamberlin and of course Rivera are the only sure fit in the bull pen. They need to stop signing these pussy relief pitchers who always need to hit their spots and start signing some hardcore fastball flame throwers who can throw them for strikes. Not saying to go out there and start looking for Benetiz and Acevado, what I am saying is go out there and find the Zumayas, the Turnbow, the Papelbons. All these changes won't happen overnight, maybe two seasons at best, but I'd rather root for a team with potential than a team whoa re all in for one season. [Mike Mussina has been pulled out of the game.]<br /><br />I restored my computer to factory out of the box settings. The system was slowing down, I think the CS2 system took up a lot of the memory of my fragile laptop. Plus I think there might have been a few viruses? Or maybe worms? I don't know. So I restored it to the new state. I uploaded important documents to Google Documents and emailed all the family pictures to myself through Picasa, which I found to be really cool. Once I restoration was complete downloaded the IE7, chose not to download FireFox, the messengers I fruquently use [MSN, Yahoo]. Installed Word, and Frontpage. Updated Windows Media Player. I need to download iTunes.&nbsp;<br /><br />Ramadan ends this Friday. I'm fasting and I'm also trying to complete the Holy Koran. There are 30 parts, I'm up to 22.5. Tonight I'm planning on going to 23. Then 3 a day until finished. I'll score big points if I finish before Friday because I'll be able to call up my Hafiz, who is the Arabic teacher who comes over to teach me, I'll be able to tell him that I finished and then during the Friday Prayer that I am told I have to attend, which I always try to attend, will add my name to the long prayer that he's going to present.&nbsp;<br /><br />Will the Yankees win tonight? Nine more outs to go. Let's find out.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-3547193362447336810?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-19017532580579203792007-10-08T18:44:00.001-07:002007-10-08T18:44:46.774-07:00Being right too soon is socially unacceptable. - Robert A. Heinlein<br /><br /><br />_______________________________<br /><br />So, I'll start my post off for this evening in a very disgruntled mood. Came home today to a blessedly empty house, was in a fairly good mood, ate a power bar, became severely hyper, talked to Janis on the phone for 45 minutes, drank tea, and piddled around with a drawing. And then my parents got home. My good mood prevailed for all of ten minutes before I decided I don't like my dad all that much.<br /><br />I know I should be looking for college stuff now, and hurrying to apply and all that crud, and I actually have been starting things, but that hasn't stopped my dad from pestering me every waking moment about getting things done. And that's almost tolerable. But when I told him today that Jamie got two full-ride scholarships from two very nice schools, ((Which I'm so happy for her about! She completely deserves it, after how hard she's worked.)) he became very pushy and rather irate about the fact that I hadn't received any scholarships from schools. Why wasn't <b>I </b>hearing from as many colleges as Jamie? Why wasn't I valedictorian, like her?<br /><br />Look, I know I'm not exactly perfect; I definitely have my flaws. But I have busted my ass to impress him my entire high school career. I am not exactly the most brilliant of students; I struggle to get the grades I do, which, I might add, have never been good enough for him. Everything I have done I've done in the hopes that I could make him proud of me. And apparently he was expecting me to be just like Jamie. Maybe he should have been HER dad. Well, no. I wouldn't wish that on her.<br /><br />And, again, there I go sounding like I'm complaining about a good thing. I can just hear people thinking, 'Well, she's just whining. She's got it good, her dad loves her and wants her to succeed.' Yeah, ok, that's the truth to a degree. Yes, he loves me.&nbsp; Yes, he wants me to succeed. But he isn't a good dad. A good dad wouldn't pick fights with you whenever you show the slightest inkling of being happy. I know I sound like I'm exaggerating, but I'm not. He does it maliciously, and I'm not lying.<br /><br />Wow. I really sound like a whiny little baby. Maybe if you knew him you'd understand. I can't explain it all to a stranger, it comes out all wrong.<br /><br />Well, whatever, enough about him. He's a bastard, whether or not anyone else thinks so. I've got my mom and my friends and that's all I need.<br /><br />I'm meeting Janis after school tomorrow; she's my friend/semi-boss, and she's adorable. We're going to get coffee at the new bookstore they just opened in Spirit Lake, and I'm excited. Next week we're going into town to go shopping and go to an internet cafe so I can teach her a few more things about her laptop. <br /><br />Speaking of next week, it's Homecoming! I'm rather excited, even though I'll only be at school for three days of it. Finally, Homecoming as a Senior. Yay me. Thursday, which is also my eighteenth birthday, we're going to see Antigone at Whitworth, and then after school I'm going with my mom and a friend of ours to the casino, and we're staying a night and I'm taking Friday off. On Friday I'm either going to the Homecoming game, or going with another friend into town to mess around. Saturday is Kristyn's halloween party, but I'm not sure if I can go. Anyway, I'm excited. It'll be a full week, but fun.<br /><br />Oh, and this weekend... Friday is Sarah's birthday party, Saturday I may be taking pictures of Jamie, and then later going to the powderpuff football game, and Sunday I'm sleeping. Woo.<br /><br />I shall collapse.<br /><br />_______________________________<br /><br /><br />The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that English is about as pure as a ribhouse whore. We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary. – James D. Nicoll<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-1901753258057920379?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-43021235177130551932007-10-08T18:25:00.001-07:002007-10-08T18:25:29.059-07:00I'm trying to check my 'tude but it's really hard to focus on school. When I wake up I just think that it's okay because in six hours I can come take a nap. During school today all I could think was the the Bachelor is on tonight and that isn't it funny that the President of STAND works at Starbucks and that Mr. Farris is one of the most interesting people I've ever met in a totally not creepy way and that college is maybe not for me and that all I want to do at home is wear my red striped beanie and how I used to date this kid that wore a hat whenever he was at home and I always thought it was a really weird thing to do but now I'm totes understanding the comfort that can be found in head apparel but then our neighbor came over and asked to see Goldie and I told him she had been dead for just about a year and he didn't believe me so he asked my mom and my mom said yes she is a pretty dead dog and my brother cried and I tried to study physics and then my brother played the saxophone and it totally reminded me of the Simpsons so I went to turn on the TV but someone broke the TV a few days ago so instead I came back to my room and turned on the computer and watched rock of love reunion episode on the internet and lived happily ever after.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-4302123517713055193?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-31314202841165359802007-10-08T18:10:00.001-07:002007-10-08T18:10:33.511-07:00Despite the fact that we have about fifty million pictures of the cat on the computer, I had a hard time finding photos that showed him next to things that would give someone an idea of his size. <table> <tr> <td><a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://pics.livejournal.com/delphica/pic/0003b8sq/"><img src="http://pics.livejournal.com/delphica/pic/0003b8sq/s320x240" alt="" height="240" width="320" border="0"/></a></td> <td><strong></strong><br /> Here is the Gryff at the computer, so he is about as high (when he is sitting up) as the computer tower.</td> </tr> </table> <table> <tr> <td><a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://pics.livejournal.com/delphica/pic/0003cf32/"><img src="http://pics.livejournal.com/delphica/pic/0003cf32/s320x240" alt="" height="240" width="320" border="0"/></a></td> <td><strong></strong><br /> A while back, we saw a documentary about cat show cats on TV, and the judges would pick up the cats like this, so sometimes we announce we are going to play "Cat Show!" and subject the Gryff to this. James picks him up and I clap and say "ooooh!"</td> </tr> </table><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-3131420284116535980?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-56569415986025154582007-10-08T17:51:00.001-07:002007-10-08T17:51:57.320-07:00stolen from m'love . 1. Open your Winamp/iTunes.<br />2. Put the shuffle-mode on.<br />3. Find a picture of the first 20 artists. If the same artist comes again, skip.<br />4. Have your friends guess who the artists are. and since i don't have iTunes on my mom's computer anymore, shall be using my old last.fm account, and mixing up the top twenty, or something. :D i still listen to pretty much the same music last year as i do now, so. 1. <a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://photobucket.com"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v42/somethingrotten/all132132members.jpg" border="0" alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket"></a> 2. <a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://photobucket.com"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v42/somethingrotten/bathtuboflove.jpg" border="0" alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket"></a> 3. <a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://photobucket.com"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v42/somethingrotten/blondeambitions.jpg" border="0" alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket"></a> 4. <a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://photobucket.com"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v42/somethingrotten/chasingthedream.jpg" border="0" alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket"></a> 5. <a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://photobucket.com"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v42/somethingrotten/deathtothestars.jpg" border="0" alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket"></a> 6. <a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://photobucket.com"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v42/somethingrotten/firewalking.jpg" border="0" alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket"></a> 7. <a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://photobucket.com"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v42/somethingrotten/folkboys.jpg" border="0" alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket"></a> 8. <a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://photobucket.com"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v42/somethingrotten/genocide.jpg" border="0" alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket"></a> 9. <a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://photobucket.com"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v42/somethingrotten/hairdownlow.jpg" border="0" alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket"></a> 10. <a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://photobucket.com"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v42/somethingrotten/heavensent.jpg" border="0" alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket"></a> 11. <a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://photobucket.com"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v42/somethingrotten/hermadjesty.jpg" border="0" alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket"></a> 12. <a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://photobucket.com"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v42/somethingrotten/kindalikesex.jpg" border="0" alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket"></a> 13. <a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://photobucket.com"><img 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Photobucket"></a> 18. <a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://photobucket.com"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v42/somethingrotten/washerforhalloween.jpg" border="0" alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket"></a> 19. <a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://photobucket.com"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v42/somethingrotten/waterbound.jpg" border="0" alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket"></a> 20. <a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://photobucket.com"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v42/somethingrotten/youbetterknow.jpg" border="0" alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket"></a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-5656941598602515458?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-1209654880273988662007-10-08T17:37:00.001-07:002007-10-08T17:37:17.958-07:00Okay not like I wanna be, I had way to much fun this past weekend in St. Louis. I really didn't wanna come home, I could've stayed abit longer but I'm going back in December thanks to Daddy for my Christmas present. I'm going to see the Rams play the Steelers.&nbsp; St. Louis is so pretty and there's so much to do, I went nuts in the mall. Me + Mall= trouble. I did spend way to much money when I was there but honestly I don't care, alot of money that I did spend was at the Dome on sunday.&nbsp; I thought I was gonna need another suitcase, b/c I wasn't sure if everything I bought would fit in mine. But I got it all to fit, it wasn't easy, but I made it work. As for the game, I got there early and had a blast. There is so much to do before the game tailgatting, booths to visit, things to do. The food at the dome was the best. Had to go through a pat down and purse search but that was okay, got in finally and had to walk along ass way down to my seat. Was happy one I got there b/c the guys where out warming up so I go to take pictures, ofcourse most of the pics I did take where of Marc, The game itself well, yeah thanks to the refs, drop[ed balls, stupid pens, and three int's by the back up quaterback gus we lost!!!!!!&nbsp; When it rains it pours on the Rams, nothing and I mean nothing went right for them. Now with an 0-5 record they go to balitmore to play the ravens. YIKES!! Plus once again Marc will be sitting b/c of the broken ribs and sore knee so it could be another long sunday.&nbsp;&nbsp; I was really disappointed that the Rams didn't win, but trying to get out of the Dome was a bitch so I got fed up and waited until most of the ppl left before I took off out of there. There was just to many ppl pushing and shoving and I really didn't need that on my back so I stayed back and waiting until it was empty enough to head out. Well dumb me kinda got mixed up going out and I ended up walking out the back entracne of the dome instead of the one I came in at that leads back to the hotel. Figures Right?&nbsp; Well it didn't turn out to be all bad b/c I saw some ppl waiting around after the game they where hoping to see the players as I find out. Granted I was tired and on the verge of losing my voice but I stuck around hoping to meet my quaterback Marc Bulger and I did get to meet him, made my day, my weekend, my whole trip to be honest. He is the nicest, sweetest guy i've ever meet. I had fun talking to him, yes I've got pics, and I got his autograph so I'm a happy girl.&nbsp; I enjoyed my whole weekend away from the computer, I didn't miss it one bit. Yes I could've brought my laptop w/ me but I'm really glad i didn't do that. I'm lagging b/c of the lack of sleep, but as I told Kori earlier sleep is overrated. I did lose my voice, it has yet to come back. Well I get back here and ofcourse I had to find out how No Mercy played out.&nbsp; Umm yeah No Mercy looked like a really bad RAW/SD/ECW put together. Are you fucking kidding me?&nbsp; What they did w/ the WWE Title &nbsp;Sucks ASS!!!!!!!! They blew a big chance lastnight. First you do the dumb thing and just fucking hand Orton the damn belt BULLSHIT!!!!!! Only to have NOSE come out and take it from him MORE BULLSHIT!!!!!!! Then have NOSE defend it against Umaga and beat him, then turning around and still have the Last Man Standing Match only to have Orton win it back. WHAT A CROCK OF FUCKING BULLSIT!!!!!!!! There is no way in hell Orton should have the belt, he doesn't desereve it. Nose shouldn't have it either&nbsp; that's the last thing I wanna see. The really fucked up w/ that whole title situation lastnight.&nbsp; Bouns Match Mr. Kennedy teams wins, good.&nbsp; What the fuck was up w/ the Eating Contest what a waste of space, poor Melina having to do something like that instead of doing what she does best and that is wrestle.&nbsp; ECW Title match oh please that was a train wreck in the making, and where the hell was Morrison? I hate Punk, i'm glad he got a massive beat down but Morrison should've come out and finished his sorry ass off.&nbsp; Glad to see Batista is still World Champion, I was gonna puke had that thing won it back. Where the hell was the Undertaker??&nbsp; Finlay and Rey Rey that was a crock of shit match.&nbsp; The only good thing that came out of that ppv was the Glamazon winning the WWE Woman's Title from Candice Michelle. Finallly a real woman's champion, not some paper doll. Yes I like Candice and yes she's improved but she should've never been given that belt she defending what three times in the four and half months she had it, that's sad. Now we have a woman's champion we can be proud of and that can actually wrestle.&nbsp; I'm happy for Beth she really earn that belt and I know she's gonna make a great woman's champion.&nbsp; Not really looking forward to RAW tonight, but atleast Johnny is gonna be on, RAW is gonna suck w/o him.&nbsp; Well off to finish playing w/ my digi camera and getting the pics taken care of. Later Gators xoxoxox<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-120965488027398866?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-85360874153226488132007-10-08T17:26:00.001-07:002007-10-08T17:26:26.537-07:00I decided to combine my entries for both Tuesday and Thursday because Tuesday was so short! So far, I love working at Stantec. Everyone is really nice and helpful. I really wasn't aware that Stantec did so much work in the Rochester area. Right up the street from me at RIT is something that they designed right there! Tuesday I met with Bill S. He will be my main mentor, but Jen and Donyelle will also help me learn about the marketing world. My initial visit made me extremely nervous. Even though I had secured a internship there already, I was anxious as to how the whole thing would work. My computer experience was something that he said was key on my resume and he was impressed that I had good knowledge already with the Office programs. *What will be the most beneficial Thursday was my first big test.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-8536087415322648813?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-57176113076498866102007-10-08T17:05:00.001-07:002007-10-08T17:05:11.257-07:00Apple shares might be at $167.89 right now (!), but why is it that I can't find a single store within a reasonable driving distance that has an open genius bar spot TODAY? Or hell, tomorrow? In Los Angeles, too. I just looked at open times for the Grove, Beverly Center, Century City, Pasadena, Glendale, Sherman Oaks, Manhattan Beach, Santa Monica, and Thousand Oaks. I just have one dinky problem with one dinky laptop battery and I want to go to the genius bar but I have to make an appointment for Wednesday night at the earliest on Monday afternoon. Thanks a fucking lot, Apple.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-5717611307649886610?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-69639048589397412472007-10-08T16:51:00.001-07:002007-10-08T16:51:40.985-07:00<p align="left"><font size="2"><em>when the sun came up<br />we were sleeping in<br />sunk inside our blankets<br />sprawled across the bed and<br />we were dreaming.<br /></em></font><br /><br /><br />i am someone who was made to love. and this great capacity to love is trumped by an exponentionally greater capacity to be hurt, and as i sit at this computer desk on a long monday night i try to reconcile where i am with where i want to be.&nbsp;i search for small bits of myself in crevices, in the corners of my room and my writing and my art and my longing to make a difference in my&nbsp;world. i think of the canyons between the person i am and the person i&nbsp;wish i were; i am much more of a hypocrite than i may seem.<br /><br />i wonder what it's for. i wonder about the point and purpose to the things i write, to the people i listen to and watch and think about. i am so fascinated, i am so disconnected, i am so disillusioned.&nbsp;<br /><br />i am all of these things, and all sorts of nothing and everything and the chasms in between.&nbsp;<br /><br /></p><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-6963904858939741247?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-17115647241251354552007-10-08T16:30:00.001-07:002007-10-08T16:30:32.866-07:00<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN:0in 0in 0pt;"><font face="Times New Roman" size="3">Well, I got a 91 on my physics exam. Not bad. Especially because he counts an 88 as an A. Then I have an algebra test this Wednesday and a chemistry test next Monday. Our new schedules came out at work. I haven’t seen mine yet. I know that Brook is pissed because she looked at her schedule and apparently it’s all blue, which is always the first section to get cut. Meaning she won’t be making much money unless she switches into yellow or green. It’s starting to get cold out, so patio won’t be around much longer. And while it still is around, not many people want to sit there anymore, so you still don’t make any money off of it. I want to see my schedule. I hope Lauren gave me some good closing shifts. </font></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN:0in 0in 0pt;"><font face="Times New Roman" size="3">&nbsp;</font></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN:0in 0in 0pt;"><font face="Times New Roman" size="3">I find myself actually looking forward to winter this year, which is highly unusual. I usually prefer warmer climates and therefore hate the cold. But I think it will be refreshing. I love the smell of snow. How clean the air feels in my lungs. Thinner. Colder. More noticeable. I ordered a black lambskin trench coat online. It’s supposed to be here on the 17^th, nine days away. That’ll be nice when it snows. Just in time too. It’s getting chilly. I like October in Colorado . The leaves are changing color and the wind is blowing them all around. I can blow smoke with my breath in the mornings! When I went out to my car this morning, there was frost all over it. I had to scrape it. Lol.</font></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN:0in 0in 0pt;"><font face="Times New Roman" size="3">&nbsp;</font></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN:0in 0in 0pt;"><font face="Times New Roman" size="3">There is one positive thing I can say about myself. (Yay!) I’m starting to notice the beauty in small things more. Like frosty mornings. And the other day I was sitting in my Jeep waiting for Keegan to come down to the car, and the scene in front me was beautiful. The grass and the sunlight filtering through the tree and light pole. I took a picture of it on my cell phone and it turned out so well that it I made it my background. Pretty. I like pretty. </font></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN:0in 0in 0pt;"><font face="Times New Roman" size="3">&nbsp;</font></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN:0in 0in 0pt;"><font face="Times New Roman" size="3">I got my paperwork completed on my student loans, so now I’m just waiting for the financial aid office to tell me what I qualify for. I WANT A COMPUTER!!!! Yep. And that’s what my leftover money is going towards. I haven’t decided yet if I want a PC or a laptop. I think PCs are nicer, but a laptop might be more convenient….</font></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN:0in 0in 0pt;"><font face="Times New Roman" size="3">&nbsp;</font></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN:0in 0in 0pt;"><font face="Times New Roman" size="3">~Sarai<br /><br />Oh yeah! And one more thing.&nbsp;<br /><br />Jake broke up with Taylor.<br /><br />(Will it last?)</font></p>&nbsp;<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-1711564724125135455?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-27321050823218690342007-10-08T16:13:00.001-07:002007-10-08T16:13:04.714-07:00Liz and I are doing some more Shion bashing. Basically because I'm being voted as Shion over at xenorating and well, I don't like Shion all that much. She's all indecisive in Episode III. {mar, yo.} [i can't dance and i really can't sing.] says:<br />Shion's a lil' hoebag in XS3.<br />[liz // VIVA LA COBRA!] [ THE "Making people laugh with idiocy and killing evil with photoshop" CAREBEAR] says:<br />xD. shion is weak. she pretty much sucks. a bit. xD<br />{mar, yo.} [i can't dance and i really can't sing.] says:<br />She's like, "OH, I LOVE KEVIN SO I'M GONNA GO OVER HERE."<br />{mar, yo.} [i can't dance and i really can't sing.] says:<br />and then she's like, "OH, I CAN'T GO WITH YOU KEVIN 'CAUSE I JUST NOTICED ALLEN LOVES ME."<br />{mar, yo.} [i can't dance and i really can't sing.] says:<br />And then she's like, "OH GOD KEVIN I'M DYING HELP ME." and Wilhelm's like, "Ho, did you hear anything? I SAID ETERNAL SUFFERING WITHOUT DEATH."<br />[liz // VIVA LA COBRA!] [ THE "Making people laugh with idiocy and killing evil with photoshop" CAREBEAR] says:<br />xDDD<br />[liz // VIVA LA COBRA!] [ THE "Making people laugh with idiocy and killing evil with photoshop" CAREBEAR] says:<br />&lt;33 Well, she does. But in my game she's pretty strong. Now that's she's exactly level 70. I attempted to fight Zarathustra again. Oh my gosh, dood, I probably should have used Recover Break after the second thing was activated. It was all, "The rings of Order and Chaos have combined into one! [does total break move and kills everyone except chaos who then dies later]" Serious. But, at least I got that far. I feel accomplished about that, at least. I actually learned how to sleep in today. I slept for like, an hour! Whoo. I'm eating breakfast food for dinner. Yay. I gotta restart my computer because MSN is being funky again. STILL LOOKING FOR A NEW MOODTHEME.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-2732105082321869034?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-14557428960695398982007-10-08T15:55:00.001-07:002007-10-08T15:55:51.914-07:00Ok...so I have had an ok day but it has been an ish day. I was at work till 2PM and it was just a long day. My computer hates me....first Warcraft stopped working and now I am getting a "IP Error" and hardware error. Gator will not be home till Saturday....ugh..... If it happens again I will ask a very good friend who lives near by to figure it out. I hope the computer does not die on me.............ugh...I need my internet but I do have another computer if this one dies.... Ok it is just going to be a long week. I will make threw with a smile on my face and a dance in my feet. It is pouring rain out side.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-1455742896069539898?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-20218843488083671182007-10-08T15:26:00.001-07:002007-10-08T15:26:52.568-07:00What song are you listening to? fix you. cold play! When was the last time you ate? recently What would you like to eat now? naw What would you like to drink now? chai. i always wanna be drinkin chai. Who was the last person to come over to your house? max Who was the last person to call you on the phone? max or my mom or my dad What was the last thing you got in the mail? college When you go to your favorite restaurant, what do you order? i dont think i have a favourite restraunt What kind of top are you wearing? sweater How many teeth do you have? idk, 20 something right? Ever had any cavities? yes What color are your shoes? mostly black Are you wearing jewelry? not raelly If so, what are you wearing? a bracelet So do you like pudding? yes! If so, got a favorite pudding flavor? nilla! What's your favorite pair of pajamas? um, .. yummy ones What's your favorite chore to do? i dont have weekly chores or anything What's your favorite sandwich? i like... sammichs... What's your favorite type of Pringles? ii dont really like them What's your favorite color to wear? black like my soul Do you like green apples or red apples? red Do you like your music loud? yes Are your parents religious? nope Are you religious? no Is there any movie or CD you're looking forward to? um... no.. Have you ever had a dream where you've had sex? kinda Do you sleep with the ceiling fan on? nope Do you have a night-light in your room? i have light lamps. What kind of drunk are you? a sexy one Are you an immigrant from another country? nope Are you afraid of being buried alive? no.. How do you dress on an average day? jeans. shirt. layers What were you like as a child? annoying What food do you hate more than anything?&nbsp; fat Ever felt like you were "on top of the world?" yes Ever thought you were going to die? yeah What was the last injury you had? idk What was the last favorite thing you bought? max and me drinks. haha. Name five things sitting to the left of you: the left is the boring side. a speaker. a lamp. books. straightner. ect. What do you normally order from Starbucks? i stopped going there. i used to get double chocolate chip fraps in the summer and vanilla lattes in the winter. What kind of underwear are you wearing? a thong, IM SO SCANDELOUS Clay, Crayons, Markers, Pastels, Charcoal, or Paint? pastels and painting. i like charcoal too. im sooo bad t drawing. What color is your bathing suit? pink and black. What is the most expensive thing you're wearing? my sweater was like 20 dawras. What does your hair look like right now? messy Do you have an alarm clock? yes If so, what does it look like? hello, kitty! What is your favorite condiment? .... ? Do you like sushi? a lot If so, what is your favorite kind? um.. i really like squid.. Name one near death experience: don't wanna Do you know anyone with the same birthday as you? yes If so, who is it? clicky Do you wear a watch? nope What is the desktop backround on your computer? sony vaio pink thing. because i have a pink sony vaio. What is the wallpaper on your cell phone? um max and me's scrabble game. What do you spend most of your money on? food. Do you like to cook? yeah... If so, what is your favorite thing to cook? the only thing i am capiable of. which is either cupcakes or stir fry. Do you like your computer? yes How about your ISP? .. my isp? as in my internet ? umm i have a cable modem Do you like Jam or Jelly? whats the difference What kind? good How many drugs have you done in the past 48 hours? none!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-2021884348808367118?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-38314153691830079002007-10-08T15:12:00.001-07:002007-10-08T15:12:44.711-07:00I'm back in London now. It's strange -- I used to feel such a sense of belonging to this city, I had all these dreams where I would study art and work at great museums and live by the river in a beautiful flat. Now I am here, studying art, living above a great museum and right by the river too. I have never felt so lost and overwhelmed though. I've reconnected with some old Cheltenham friends and it's been nice -- like time has hardly passed, give or take a new boyfriend, a new job. Mary and I went to TopShop and it was a sensory overload. So many beautiful things, all right there, just to touch and to have, but too much all at the same time that I was dizzy and sleepy by the end. The whole city feels like that to me. So much to see, to taste, to do... and yet here I am, in my room, on the computer, my quiet river flowing outside. What's wrong with me? I'm scared I think sometimes. After Paris, I am acutely aware that being alone at night is not the safest. Also, it gets lonely, eating at places by myself. It can be purposeful I guess at times, when I have some work, but more often it's just lonely. After dinner today I spent some time walking around my neighborhood. I finally found a place that would sell coffee after 8pm and sat drinking a cup on a bench, listen to an old guy sing and play his guitar. His voice was lovely, and I cried. I guess if I really really wanted to, I could make friends. But I don't want to, really. The small talk, the effort, the extra-mile... I'm too old for that. I think about home every day, and the people there whom I can spend a good long time with, without talking at all. It would be nice to have lots of purpose, to have lots to do. It's the second week of school, after all. Nothing yet though. I have a quickie presentation tomorrow and some reading due next week that I already finished last week. Oh it was awful, I bumbled into a class thinking I was late and totally interrupted a whole other class I had nothing to do with -- MY class is still next week. Everyday I have been talking to strangers, not just in a which-way-do-I-go sense, but in a meaningful way. I've had a cab driver, a Malaysian fashionista, an indie boy with braces and a tourist couple from the South of England all strike up conversations with me, asking about life... my opinions, my politics, music, the law, David. It's been interesting, at least. So often I wish I had my fat golden retriever with me, Sophie. I miss picking fleas off her fur. Don't laugh. I miss the so many comforts I got just by being around her. She likes to sit and watch the world go by, and feels no obligation. No shame from hours of sleep, from the soft flab on her belly. Yet when she does actually get off her butt and do things, she does them with the utmost enjoyment and love. She also gets a lot of love and time in the sun.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-3831415369183007900?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-73459819475647002872007-10-08T15:02:00.001-07:002007-10-08T15:02:05.841-07:00<p dir="ltr" style="MARGIN-RIGHT:0px;" align="left"><font size="2">Obviously, I have nothing better to do than play around on the computer whiIe I&nbsp;should be&nbsp;doing homework and studying. &nbsp;I can't help it, I just feel so lazy. I honestly have no idea how to work this web site. It's realy confusing and I don't feel like taking the time to figure it out right now. I have other things on my mind right now. I guess&nbsp;I should get back to studying for my Spanish 3 test tomorrow. I probably will be taking a nap instead, haha.<br /><strong><br />Adios!</strong></font></p><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-7345981947564700287?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-48424775183019700522007-10-08T14:43:00.001-07:002007-10-08T14:43:48.643-07:00MATCHBOX TWENTY ON THE TODAY SHOW, WUT? This made my day. I was getting ready to leave the house and on TV, they showed the Today Show and some guy singing, and so of course my grandma was like, "Hey, who is this?" So I stopped and listened and OH MY GOD. DO YOU KNOW WHAT I HEARD? ONLY ONE OF MY FAVORITE SONGS EVER. Actually, I don't know the name of the song. But it was old, from way back when Closing Time was amazinngggggg. (Not that it isn't now. It's still one of my favorites.) So, yeah, that was great. I've been with my grandparents for the past few days, which means I've been on the computer for a total of about an hour over the past three days. I worked in the yard with my grandma today `cause she needed help digging stuff up (!!!) and I got to use some type of cutter things (!!!!). The kitten got to run around for the 45 minutes we were outside, and she's <i>still</i> sleeping, exhausted, from that. Right now, I got lucky with some time on the computer while my grandma's in the kitchen (oh, yeah, I know I should be helping. don't worry, I will be as soon as I post this.) making dinner (steak, of course, and salad and sweet potatoes and mushrooms [ick.] and corn [!!!]). The Food Network is blaring on the TV. Life is good. P.S. Matchbox Twenty = new fandom? The lead singer was adorable.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-4842477518301970052?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-55468522000908264152007-10-08T14:18:00.001-07:002007-10-08T14:18:31.616-07:00This one is for Trio, because I finally have a fandom I can write in that she's reading. It's been a while, nee-san. Hope you like it. I wrote this entirely by hand on the bus to and from school, in less than a week. @_@ I never write by hand, but I've been getting desperate because schoolwork prevents me from having any time at my computer. Now my hand hurts. ;p Title: Three's a Crowd<br />Series: Ouran Host Club<br />Pairing: Hikaru/Haruhi, Kaoru/Haruhi<br />Rating: PG13<br />Warnings: Het (what is it with me and het stories lately?), about as much twincest as is in canon, ie they're playing it up for the club. Minor spoilers for episode... 14, I think?<br />Length: 10,159 Things get complicated when it's not just 'our world' and 'everything outside our world' anymore. When Kaoru had set Hikaru and Haruhi up on that date, he'd known he would be jealous. It was inevitable, after all - though he'd been the first to acknowledge that he and his twin needed to reach out to other people, that didn't mean he <i>wanted</i> to give up the unique closeness they had always shared. So he'd braced himself for the emotion and managed to mostly ignore it, and the reward had been seeing Hikaru slowly emerging from his self-absorbed shell. It had been worth the effort, even if it had hurt like a bitch. What Kaoru hadn't expected was the way he felt when Hikaru came back from his <i>second</i> - and much more private - date with her. The expression of startled joy in his twin's eyes made Kaoru ragingly jealous all over again... of the fact that Hikaru had Haruhi, but Kaoru himself was still alone. And probably always would be. Haruhi was one of a kind, and who was to say it wouldn't take them another fifteen years to find a second person who could tell them apart? Even then, there was no guarantee that said person would be anything like Haruhi. She had a charm that was all her own, and which only peripherally had to do with the way she treated them as separate people. She was sweet, and pretty, and Kaoru <i>liked</i> spending time with her. If he hadn't been so focused on shoving Hikaru out of his comfort zone, Kaoru <i>would</i> have gone on that date with her. And probably have had a lot more fun than his brother had. Hikaru, of course, wanted to spend half the night lying in bed talking about what had happened that evening. It was what they always did whenever they were separated for some reason, and when Hikaru got excited he about something he could talk without stopping for hours on end. Listening to his twin babble on about Haruhi, Kaoru struggled to smother a growing sense of discontent and anger. Hikaru was oblivious, lost in his own enthusiasm, and that only irritated Kaoru further. Here he'd given up everything to help his brother, and Hikaru couldn't even be bothered to notice that Kaoru was hurting! The worst of it was, he had only himself to blame. Kaoru was the one Haruhi had expected to take her on that first date, and he was the one who'd played sick in order to force Hikaru to go instead. He found himself bitterly regretting it now, but it was far too late to change his mind. "...have to keep it hidden from our lord, of course," Hikaru was saying, still blithely unaware of Kaoru's emotional turmoil. "We don't want him going ballistic on me, and you know he will if he finds out I'm dating Haruhi. But <i>he</i> can't tell us apart, so you can stand in for me sometimes and confuse him. I mean, he'll notice there's only one of us there, but as long as he thinks it's a different one each time it'll probably take him a while to catch on..." "No." The word was out of Kaoru's mouth before he realized he intended to say it, but once uttered he had no desire to take it back. Helping Hikaru to slip away to make out with Haruhi would be rubbing salt in an open wound. "No?" Hikaru repeated, surprised. Then he frowned. "You don't think it's a good idea to try to sneak off when Tamaki is around? You might be right. Our lord is sharper than most people give him credit for. And we don't want Kyoya noticing either. Damn it, that really limits the amount of time I'll get to spend with her, though. Well, maybe we can arrange 'study sessions' or something. He probably won't think anything of it if <i>both</i> of us are supposedly with her. Once we're away from school you can just come home and..." "No," Kaoru said again, putting more force behind the word this time. He glared at his twin. "I'm not helping you spend time with her, Hikaru!" Utterly bewildered, Hikaru gaped at him. "But... why not?" he finally sputtered. "Because you're assuming you've got sole claim on her," Kaoru said, making each word deliberate and holding Hikaru's eyes the whole time. "I gave you that first date because I wanted to push you out of your damn ego. But I wasn't conceding defeat." "What the hell are you talking about?" Hikaru demanded. "I'm saying," Kaoru replied softly, but with an edge in his voice, "I'm saying that <i>I</i> want her, too. And I'm willing to fight you for her." There was a moment of stunned silence. Even in the dim light Kaoru could see the way jealousy flooded Hikaru's eyes, and he knew he'd just thrown down the proverbial glove. "I got her first," Hikaru pointed out, just as softly but with no less force. "If you wanted her, you shouldn't have played sick like that. Of course I knew," he added scornfully when Kaoru looked at him in surprise. "Do you think I'd have left you alone if I'd thought you were actually sick? I figured you'd just changed your mind and didn't feel like being sociable, so you were foisting it off on me instead. But you chose to do it, Kaoru, I didn't make you. Why should I let you horn in now?" "What makes you think you've got a choice about it?" Kaoru countered, his voice slowly rising. "You can't stop me. Why should you be the only one who gets to be happy, huh? There're two of us and only one of her - you do the math. I'm not going to be the self-sacrificing one this time, damn it." "You're too late!" Hikaru insisted, volume increasing to match Kaoru's. "She's already going out with me, and I'm not giving her up. And what do you mean, 'this time'?" They were sitting up now, glaring fiercely at each other from across the width of the bed. Kaoru felt a twinge of apprehension. They'd squabbled before, of course; they were only human. But all their big 'fights' had been staged for the entertainment value. This was the first time he could remember them actually being angry at each other. But he wasn't disturbed enough to back down. "If you weren't so damned self-centred, you'd know exactly what I meant," he snapped. "I've always given way to you, always made sure you were happy first. Not. This. Time. You've been on <i>two</i> dates, you're not exactly married to her. Even you haven't been calling her your girlfriend yet. So she's still fair game." "Yeah? Then I'll <i>make</i> her my girlfriend," Hikaru snarled back. "First thing tomorrow. So what are you gonna do then?" Kaoru winced. It was hard to predict what Haruhi would do at the best of times, but she obviously felt some attraction to his twin or he wouldn't have had to spend the last hour and a half listening to Hikaru talk about how much fun the date had been - including enthusiastic tangents about how it felt to kiss her. If Hikaru asked her to go steady, he was pretty sure she would agree. "You really are just a selfish bastard, aren't you?" Kaoru said, his heart aching from the double blow of knowing he was going to lose his chance with Haruhi and this irrefutable proof that his twin was utterly self-absorbed. Kaoru had always suspected that Hikaru would put himself first no matter what, but he'd never had it confirmed before. "Who's selfish?" Hikaru retorted. "You're the one threatening to steal my girlfriend from me! You missed your chance, tough luck!" "Excuse me..." a hesitant voice came from the doorway. "<i>What</i>?" they snapped in unison, turning to glare. The twin girls who served as their maids were hovering there, eyes wide. Seeing Hikaru and Kaoru practically ready to go for each other's throats wasn't something that happened every day. "Is something wrong, sirs?" one of them asked. "Yeah, it's too damned crowded in here all of a sudden," Hikaru declared bitterly. "I'm going to sleep in one of the guest rooms." The girls exchanged a glance, then bowed. "As you wish. We'll get one ready for you." Watching as Hikaru gathered up the things he would need for school the next day, Kaoru had second thoughts. In fifteen years they'd <i>never</i> been so upset with each other that they hadn't slept together. But damn it all, he was <i>always</i> the one who ended up compromising. He'd never really minded before. The problem was that this time, giving in meant losing his chance with the only girl who'd ever seen them for themselves. Silently he turned away, clenching his teeth on the apology that wanted to escape him. This time he was damned well going to stand up for himself. If Hikaru wanted to win this one, he was going to have to fight for it. <hr> Tossing and turning, Hikaru tried to get comfortable in the guest bed. He wanted to blame the unfamiliar mattress for his insomnia and restlessness, but he'd never had any trouble sleeping in strange beds before. It wasn't the bed that was responsible; it was the fact that he was alone in it. They always at least slept in the same room, if not the same bed, and the room was achingly empty without the sound of his twin breathing and moving around next to him. Growling, Hikaru punched the pillow with far more force than was required to fluff it. Why had Kaoru decided to go and start this stupid argument, anyway? And then to act like <i>Hikaru</i> was the selfish one because he wouldn't give up his girlfriend without a fight! If Kaoru hadn't wanted him to date Haruhi, he shouldn't have set things up this way in the first place. Not that Hikaru wanted his twin to be alone and unhappy. Far from it - the more he realized how good it felt to be with Haruhi, the more he wanted Kaoru to have a chance to experience it as well. But not so much that he was willing to give her up and leave himself alone, instead. Especially not now that he knew what he'd be missing. The problem was, as Kaoru had pointed out, a simple matter of math. Two of them, and only one of her. It didn't add up no matter how he looked at it. And the odds of finding another girl like her anytime soon were astronomically low. Really, he should have expected this. He and Kaoru were different people, but their tastes were very similar as a result of having shared everything throughout their whole lives. It wasn't just the fact that Haruhi was the only one who could tell them apart. Hikaru was coming to care for her for her own sake - and that meant Kaoru probably was, too. And that just complicated things even further. Worse, he wasn't really sure he was ready to ask Haruhi to go steady with him, and jumping into it to spite his twin seemed like a bad idea. What if it was too fast for <i>her</i> and she turned him down? Then he'd lose her anyway. But if it was the only way to keep Kaoru from taking her from him... Of course, it wasn't like he was planning to announce it to the school even if she did agree to be his girlfriend. Tamaki's obsession with Haruhi was obvious to everyone but Tamaki and Haruhi. As far as Hikaru was concerned, Tamaki's insistence on trying to act like her father instead of like a potential boyfriend meant the older boy had left her up for grabs, and it was Tamaki's own damned fault that Hikaru got her first. That didn't mean he wanted the older boy after his hide, though. But the fact that they would keep it quiet, combined with the threat he'd already made to ask her to go steady, meant that Kaoru would probably assume he'd done it even if he hadn't. Hikaru sighed and rolled over. It wasn't a perfect solution, because it still left the two of them at odds with each other, but it was a start. At the very least it would buy him some time to think of a better idea. And in the meantime, be damned if he wouldn't soak up every moment of time Haruhi would give him. The more time he spent alone with her the more he understood what might have driven the idiotic girls who always confessed to him and Kaoru. And damn, but kissing was addictive. Hikaru fell asleep with a grin on his face, replaying the last half-hour of his date over and over in his mind. <hr> Kaoru stuck close to his brother from the moment they got to school the next day. He had a half-formed notion that if he could just keep Hikaru from being alone with Haruhi, his twin wouldn't have an opportunity to ask her to be his girlfriend and Kaoru would still have a chance. He was <i>fairly</i> sure Haruhi would accept a date with him if he asked her, and quite certain that she wouldn't agree to go steady with Hikaru when she'd promised a date with him. There was just one small flaw in his plan. Staying close to Hikaru meant <i>he</i> didn't have a chance to speak to Haruhi in private, either. And he wasn't quite bold enough to ask her right in front of his brother. So how the hell was he going to do this? Maybe he could write a note asking to speak to her at lunch, and then sneak away when Hikaru wasn't looking. As they had during their staged fight, they'd sat with her between the two of them, a tacit drawing of the battle lines. It would be easy enough to slip her a message without the teacher noticing. He shifted in his seat, checking from the corner of his eye whether he'd be able to get her attention. To his shock and dismay she was already holding a little piece of paper under her desk, reading it silently. When she then looked over at Hikaru and nodded, Kaoru knew they'd once again twin-shared the idea and Hikaru had beaten him to it. Hikaru caught him looking and smirked, and Kaoru snarled silently at his brother before returning his attention to the front. Now what? Hikaru had asked before him, so Haruhi would go with him before Kaoru. And then it would all be a moot point. Kaoru had to talk to her <i>first</i>. But how? He still hadn't come up with a good idea by the time the bell rang to release them for lunch. He watched miserably as Hikaru stood and declared, "You go ahead, Kaoru. I need to ask Haruhi about last night's homework. I'll meet you in the cafeteria." There was nothing Kaoru could say or do and they both knew it. Nodding reluctantly, he conceded defeat with ill grace and gathered up his books to leave. He felt like his heart had risen into his throat and was trying to choke him. By the time he finally saw them again, lunch was nearly over. Haruhi normally ate in the classroom, but Hikaru had apparently persuaded the stubbornly independent girl to let him buy her lunch for once, because they were both carrying trays as they approached his table. They were also both flushed and a little mussed, and Kaoru clenched his teeth as he realized they must have been making out. The smug, triumphant look on Hikaru's face left no doubt. He'd asked, she'd agreed, and that was the end of it. Feeling suddenly like he might be sick, Kaoru stood up and picked up his tray. "Here, you guys take this spot," he said, and hoped his voice hadn't come out quite as much of a croak as it had sounded to him. "I'm... not feeling very well. I think I'm just going to find somewhere quiet to rest until lunch is over." He avoided looking either of them in the eyes, but he couldn't quite evade the hand Haruhi put on his arm to stop him. "Are you okay? Are you sure you don't want us to come with you?" she asked, her big brown eyes full of concern. "We can skip lunch, or I don't mind eating alone if you just want Hikaru. I can study or something." Somehow Kaoru forced a smile, though it probably looked as sickly as he felt. "Nah, no sense in you two going hungry just because I was a pig and ate too fast. I'll see you in class." He shook off her hand and made his escape before she could say anything else. At the door he looked back just long enough to see that they'd sat down and Hikaru was watching him. The smug look in his twin's eyes had been replaced by something that might have been an apology, but Kaoru wasn't ready to accept it. Not yet, not when just seeing them together made his chest feel like it was on fire. Maybe not for a long time to come. <hr> "Are you two fighting?" Haruhi asked Hikaru nearly a week later. "Eh?" Hikaru blinked, startled by the sudden subject change. Not that they'd been talking about anything - going by way of the roof wasn't exactly the fastest route between their classroom and the Host Club, but it did win them a few moments alone. Without Kaoru's help the 'study session' plan was lacking a crucial element, and Hikaru had been forced to find less satisfactory methods to spend some time with her. He made the most of every moment they got, and she didn't seem to object. "I asked if you and Kaoru are having a fight," Haruhi repeated, twining her fingers through his. Hikaru shifted uneasily and forced himself to laugh. "After the way we fooled you last time? I'm surprised you'd even think it. You didn't strike me as the type to fall for the same prank twice." "But that's just it," Haruhi said, looking up at him. "You're not being theatrical about it this time. In fact I think you're doing your best to keep people from noticing. If it was another act you'd be trying to draw attention." Damn the girl for being so observant, anyway. Granted it was exactly that frightening level of insight that had drawn him to her in the first place, but it was working against him now. As far as Hikaru could tell, nobody else had noticed the tension between him and his twin. They were doing their best to act normally, still teasing people and playing their 'forbidden love' game for the club. But things <i>were</i> strained between them. They weren't outright fighting, but Kaoru was avoiding him whenever they didn't have to be together for the sake of appearances. And truthfully Hikaru had been avoiding him too, because he couldn't stand to see the wounded look in his twin's eyes. Trust Haruhi to be the only person to see what was really going on. Briefly he considered dissembling, but she wouldn't believe it. Finally he sighed and raked a hand through his hair. "It's complicated." "Want to talk about it?" she offered. "Maybe it will help." He'd already opened up to Haruhi more than to anyone but Kaoru, but this was one thing Hikaru couldn't talk about. Tell her they were fighting over her? That would make her feel guilty, and he didn't want to seem like he was putting the blame on her shoulders. It wasn't <i>her</i> fault she was only one person. "I can't really." He shrugged and tugged her closer, tucking her head under his chin and wrapping his arms around her waist. He liked holding her like this, almost as much as he liked kissing her. But it was weird to feel so close to someone other than Kaoru. "It's just... growing pains, I guess. Don't worry, we'll work it out." Surely, they would. They had to. They couldn't live like this forever. Eventually Kaoru would have to forgive him for keeping Haruhi. Wouldn't he? "I hope so," Haruhi said, resting her head on his shoulder. "It's hurting both of you, and I don't like to see that. You know if there's anything I can do, you only have to ask." "Find a way to clone yourself?" Hikaru suggested under his breath, only half joking. When she pulled back to look up at him questioningly, he shook his head. "Never mind, I'm just being weird. As much as I hate to say it, we should go or people will notice we're late." She nodded and turned to go, one hand still caught firmly in his. They wouldn't let go until they got down to the stairwell where people might see them. Sometimes Hikaru wondered what Haruhi thought about their relationship, and his request for secrecy. He'd explained about not wanting to set Tamaki off and she'd agreed, but she'd looked a little dubious. Did she ever think he was ashamed of her low status or something like that? She was so hard to read, he could never tell what was really going through her head. For a girl with the iron will he <i>knew</i> she possessed, she was remarkably easy-going and undemanding, and her willing compliance most of the time made it hard to tell what <i>she</i> wanted. "Haruhi," he said. She looked back at him curiously, and he found himself suddenly tongue-tied. "I... I just... I don't appreciate you enough," he mumbled, flushing. "I mean, I know I kinda suck at communicating with people, or whatever. You deserve better." She smiled at him, the same smile that had made him fall for her in the first place - the one that said she was perfectly aware of his flaws and thought he was more than a little odd, but she liked him anyway. "I don't mind," she assured him. "You're learning." She reached up to kiss him briefly. "Now hurry, or we <i>will</i> be late." They had to run through the last few halls to make it in time, but they slipped into the music room just before Kyoya started assigning the groups of girls to a Host. The second-year raised an eyebrow at them, but Haruhi blinked innocently and Hikaru shrugged a sheepish apology, and Kyoya apparently decided to drop it. Moving to take his place in the group of Hosts, Hikaru accidentally caught Kaoru's eye for a brief moment. In his twin's expression he saw regret, jealousy, longing, and a loneliness so deep it made Hikaru's heart ache in sympathy. They both looked away, unable to hold the contact. Throughout the entire first round of Hosting, Hikaru kept catching his brother glancing over at where Haruhi was seated. Kaoru was doing a better job of hiding his emotions than before, but Hikaru could still see that soul-deep sorrow if he looked hard enough. He tried not to look. Unfortunately, the whole mess was now affecting them badly enough that it seemed Haruhi <i>wasn't</i> the only one to notice. Their hearts just weren't in their act, and several of the girls asked if they were feeling well. Gratefully taking the offered out, Hikaru 'admitted' they were suffering from a bit of a cold. The flood of sympathy that resulted probably more than made up for any revenue losses that might have been caused by their lack of enthusiasm. But they couldn't keep that up forever, and they had to do something to break this stalemate they were caught in. Preferably before it ate one or both of them alive. "Let's switch it up," Hikaru suggested abruptly when they took their first break. "What? Now?" Kaoru asked, startled. "Sure," Hikaru nodded firmly. "This is getting out of hand, Kaoru. We need to do something to distract the girls - and us. Switching places will force us to think about being each other instead of brooding." Trading places had always been one of their favourite ways of entertaining themselves. Not that anybody could tell them apart to start with, but <i>they</i> knew they were very different people. Seeing how well they could act like each other was a challenge. Maybe spending an afternoon thinking like him would make Kaoru realize what a difficult position Hikaru was in. Maybe it would even make his twin forgive him. "Hey, I know!" Hikaru added, inspired. "Let's see if we can fool Haruhi! If we're really trying, I mean. That ought to be enough of a challenge to keep us occupied. Think we can do it?" Kaoru looked thoughtful. "Yeah... I think we could if we put some effort into it," he agreed. "What the hell, why not. It's been a while anyway." Gleefully Hikaru set to work fixing his hair to lie in the other direction. He didn't think this would really solve anything, but at least it couldn't make things worse. And anything that got them out of this destructive rut would be a good thing. <hr> "Hi... Hikaru..." His twin blushed and looked up at him uncertainly, from much closer than usual. The 'slip and catch' routine had gone off without a hitch, and now they were pressed tightly together in a <i>very</i> suggestive pose. Kaoru looked back at his brother, his expression one of fierce protectiveness. "I've got you, Kaoru," he murmured in a husky voice, as if the position was affecting him and he was trying to hide it. "You know I'd never let you be hurt." The girls squealed and sighed, and Hikaru fluttered his lashes and looked coy. "I know you wouldn't, Hikaru." His imitation of Kaoru's voice was perfect, just as Kaoru's imitation of him had been. They'd had a great deal of practice at it, after all. Maybe it should have felt strange to address someone else as if they were him, but they'd been doing this so often and for so long that he answered to 'Hikaru' as readily as to 'Kaoru'. Given that even their nannies hadn't been able to tell them apart, there was no way to be certain which of them had started with which name, anyway. They'd settled it between themselves when they'd been five, but it was a fifty-fifty chance they'd chosen wrong. Slowly, drawing out the time they spent in contact as if he couldn't bear to let go, he pulled Hikaru back to his feet. His twin was still blushing and keeping his eyes averted, and the girls were going nuts. Being able to blush on cue was one of their best moneymakers. Hikaru had been right about one thing, at least. The exercise was distracting them and making it easier to perform for the club. Kaoru felt better than he had in days, though he didn't trust it to last. For once he actually regretted it when Kyoya indicated that they could take their second break. With a brief exchanged glance they agreed to stay in character for the break and the final round of Hosting. Neither of them wanted to break the fragile truce. On the other hand, Kaoru didn't really want to stand around talking, either. He knew avoidance wasn't the answer, but it helped for the moment. Chances were good that Hikaru would take the opportunity to make people think Kaoru was also spending time close to Haruhi, and Kaoru didn't particularly want to watch. Except, as he discovered when he ducked into the back room, Haruhi was already there. It was just the two of them, though that could change at any moment. "Hey," he greeted her, heading towards her. Long habit made it Hikaru's tone and inflection when he spoke, since he was 'in character'. She was studying - no surprise there. The Host Club took up a lot of the time she would have otherwise spent studying, and she made up for it at every opportunity. But she looked up at him with no sign of irritation at being interrupted, and smiled at him. "Hi. On break?" Kaoru almost tripped, because there was so much more warmth in her voice and expression than he was used to seeing. Belatedly it occurred to him that she must think he was Hikaru. Even though he'd stayed in character and the whole point had been to see if they could fool Haruhi, he realized he'd subconsciously expected her to know it was him. He should tell her the truth. They'd proved they could fool her and that was the point. Better yet, he should turn around and leave so she wouldn't be embarrassed when she realized she'd looked at the wrong twin that way. He should, he <i>knew</i> he should, but he couldn't get his feet to move. How often in the last week had he imagined what it would be like to see that look on her face? Haruhi was far too self-contained to indulge in the sort of theatrical displays of affection that most of the girls seemed to think were normal. But that very reserve made the quiet warmth in her eyes feel so much more powerful. All the jealousy he'd slowly been shoving away came surging back, and he found it hard to breathe. He wanted her to look at <i>him</i> like that, like just being with him made her that happy. Not for the first time or for the last, he cursed himself for pushing Hikaru into that first date. "Are you okay?" she asked. Jolted out of his thoughts, he realized she'd stood and come over to him. She put a hand on his arm in concern, and suddenly it felt like she was much too close. Kaoru swallowed hard to try to clear his throat, intending to reassure her and get the hell out of there. Before he got the first word out, a desperate and insane urge swept over him and utterly sidetracked him. She thought he was Hikaru. This wouldn't have been the first time his twin slipped away to be with her for a few minutes during club time. If he asked her to go with him to, say, one of the change rooms... It was wrong; it was worse than wrong, it was unthinkable. But he <i>was</i> thinking it, and once he'd started he couldn't make himself stop. This might be his one and only chance to find out what it would be like. "Yeah, I'm fine," he said, burying himself firmly in his brother's persona. Hikaru, he was Hikaru, and this was his girlfriend. "Sorry, I was just kinda lost in my own thoughts. Do you..." There he faltered, having no idea how Hikaru would phrase a request to go make out. He nearly broke character, shocked at the realization that there was something about his twin that he <i>didn't know</i>. But either Hikaru had never figured out how to blatantly ask either, or Haruhi just assumed his hesitation was due to his earlier preoccupation, because she just smiled again and nodded. At least that put him on more familiar ground. He'd watched Hikaru lead Haruhi off more than enough times over the last week to know how his twin acted. Kaoru reached out and caught her hand firmly in his, praying she wouldn't notice the way he was trembling. The little curtained alcoves they used to change had more than enough room in them for two people to stand at a comfortable conversation distance. But Haruhi stayed as close to him as if there had been barely enough room for them both. Kaoru slipped an arm around her waist, and she turned in his arms and lifted her face to his. Heart pounding, Kaoru closed the remaining distance between them. Her mouth was sweet and soft against his, and she wound her arms around his neck to pull him closer. It was nothing like he had imagined kissing would be, but it was instantly addicting. Stifling an involuntary moan, he put his hands on her hips and drew her closer against him. The heavy school blazers they both wore kept him from feeling the shape of her body against his, but warmth ran through him at the contact anyway. He tried to match what she was doing with her mouth and act like he knew what the hell he was doing, because if she realized this was the first time he'd ever kissed anyone it would be a dead giveaway that he wasn't Hikaru. After a moment she parted her lips, and he took that as an invitation to slide his tongue into her mouth. That didn't feel anything like he'd expected it to, either. The moment when his tongue met hers, it was as if an electric shock pulsed through his whole body. This time he couldn't stop the soft groan that escaped him, and she made a muffled sound of desire in return. Gods, no wonder Hikaru hadn't been able to talk about anything else. And no wonder he was constantly scheming to try to find more ways to spend time alone with Haruhi. Kaoru could have happily spent hours like this, exploring the taste and feel of her mouth and listening to the little noises she kept making. No wonder Hikaru was so adamantly attached to her, for that matter. If their positions had been reversed, Kaoru would have flatly refused to consider giving her up, too. He wasn't sure he could bear to give her up <i>now</i>, he just didn't have a choice in the matter. She was Hikaru's girlfriend - and Kaoru was the lowest kind of worm for tricking her like this. He pulled away abruptly, gasping for air and feeling like a fish out of water. She blinked up at him, startled, as he held her at arm's length and tried to find the strength to let go entirely. "Kaoru! You're crying!" she exclaimed softly, reaching up to brush off the tears he hadn't even realized he'd shed. "What's wrong?" "Nothing, I just... <i>what did you call me</i>?" He broke character in mid-sentence, stunned to hear his own name. "Kaoru," she repeated with a bewildered expression. "What... but... did you know it was me when you came in here?" he asked, floored. "Of course. You know I can tell you apart," she said, giving him an odd look. "But then... what are you <i>doing</i>?" he demanded. His mind was spinning in little circles. If she'd known it was him and not his twin, why had she come in here with him? Why had she looked at him that way? "Um... I thought I was kissing you," she said slowly. "Isn't that what you wanted?" Dazed, Kaoru stared at her. Haruhi could think in strange ways sometimes, but there wasn't a single duplicitous bone in her body. There was no way, just no way he could believe she would so casually cheat on her boyfriend. Which meant Hikaru wasn't her boyfriend. He'd never asked her to go steady at all, he'd just let Kaoru think he had. Suddenly all the guilt that had been eating at him about kissing his brother's girlfriend vanished in a wash of anger - and elation. Anger that Hikaru had lied to him, and elation that he hadn't yet lost his chance. "Will you go to dinner with me on Saturday?" he blurted out, almost stumbling over the words in his haste to get them out before he lost his courage. She chuckled, a warm sound that went straight to his gut and made him shiver in reaction to the answering heat it evoked. "I wondered how long it would take you to ask. Of course I will." She'd been waiting for him to ask? Did that mean it was really him that she wanted? But then why date Hikaru? Maybe she just liked them both and wanted a chance to compare before she decided. That made sense and it emphasized once again that she realized they were different. Unlike all the girls who'd confessed to them over the years, who hadn't really cared which twin they dated. Feeling like he'd won some kind of battle, Kaoru pulled her close and kissed her again. She laughed and kissed him back, then pulled away. "I have to go, my break must be up by now," she said, and he released her reluctantly. She checked quickly to see if there was anyone outside, then ducked out of the change room. Kaoru waited a moment before following her, trying to compose himself. There were so many conflicting emotions surging through him that he could hardly tell up from down. Mixed with the most amazing feelings he'd ever experienced was more rage than he'd ever felt towards his twin. There was still a bit of lingering guilt that he'd tried to trick Haruhi, and just to make things even more complicated he was also sympathetic to Hikaru's refusal to give her up. Finally he drew a deep breath and forced himself to focus. There was still no one in the back room when he emerged; he'd gotten lucky. He - <i>both</i> of them - needed to be more careful if they didn't want Tamaki to catch them at it. As he headed for the door, he remembered belatedly that he was supposed to be in character. He struggled to put himself back into Hikaru's frame of mind, but it was more difficult than it had ever been before. He was too angry with his twin, and too happy as himself. He'd taken two steps into the music room when someone grabbed him roughly by the shoulder and jolted him right back into his own identity. Kaoru found himself yanked back and slammed into the wall almost hard enough to knock the air out of him. Shocked, he looked up and found himself face to face with his twin - and Hikaru was very much not in character. In fact, his brother was absolutely furious, and his hands on Kaoru's shoulders were tight enough to hurt. Leaning in close, Hikaru snarled at him. "You <i>asshole</i>, you let Haruhi think you were me just so you could get her alone, didn't you? What the hell kind of bullshit are you trying to pull?" Hikaru hissed at him, keeping his voice low enough that nobody would be able to overhear him. Kaoru stared into his brother's enraged amber eyes, and something in him snapped. Hikaru had the nerve to call bullshit on <i>him</i> after the bastard had let Kaoru spend a whole week miserably believing that Haruhi was taken? "Haruhi!" he called, loud enough to draw her attention. Not that he needed to; every eye in the room had been on them from the moment Hikaru had grabbed him. "Which twin am I?" "Kaoru," she replied promptly, sounding puzzled. Thankfully she didn't ask why he wanted her to prove it again so soon. For a moment, Hikaru looked so angry that Kaoru honestly believed his brother was about to punch him. He glared back, daring Hikaru to try it. Kaoru would give as good as he got. Instead Hikaru shifted his grip to Kaoru's upper arm and forcibly dragged him towards the door. "We are not having this argument in public," he snapped, flicking a quick glance at their avid audience - Haruhi and Tamaki in particular. Kaoru gave a short, sharp nod and went willingly. The astonished and excited whispers broke out before the door had even closed behind them, but he didn't care. Let them gossip. The truth was between him and his twin. By mutual silent agreement they went to the music room across the hall, so the soundproofing would keep the others from eavesdropping. Kaoru had a feeling it would be the last thing they agreed on for quite a while. He caught Hikaru off guard by taking the initiative, rounding on his twin the moment they were in the room and before Hikaru had a chance to do more than open his mouth. "You son of a bitch, you <i>deliberately</i> let me believe that you'd asked her to be your girlfriend, so that I wouldn't ask her out," Kaoru raged, fists clenched. "No, you <i>led</i> me to believe it. You never even asked her, did you?" He might be the more levelheaded of the two of them, but that just meant he didn't lose his temper as fast, not that he didn't have one. He'd well and truly lost it now. "Yeah? Did you know that before or after you kissed her?" Hikaru retorted. Kaoru flushed despite his best efforts not to, but refused to let himself be sidetracked. "She knew it was me right from the start, and <i>she</i> invited <i>me</i> as much as the other way around." It hadn't really hit him until he said the words; that warm expression had been directed at <i>him</i>, Kaoru. "Face it, Hikaru, you fucked up and you wasted your best chance, and I'm not going to let you get a second one." "You... damn it, you already asked her out, didn't you?" Hikaru exclaimed, dismayed. "I'm not just going to take this lying down, Kaoru. I <i>will</i> fight you for her." "And I'll fight back," Kaoru said, his voice cold. "But the winner will be up to her." "What do you mean?" Hikaru asked, wary of such a seemingly obvious statement. "We both just go ask her to go steady and let her pick?" Kaoru successfully hid his wince at the idea, but it was an effort. That <i>was</i> the obvious solution, and given that she'd spent all her time with Hikaru up to this point it wasn't hard to guess which of them she would choose. Thankfully nobody knew Hikaru as well as Kaoru, and he'd spent years learning his twin's weak spots. "Oh sure, that's fair," Kaoru scoffed. "I haven't even had one date with her yet. First you let me believe you're going steady with her, and now this. What's wrong, Hikaru? Afraid if she has a chance to get to know me, she'll want me instead?" It was the sting to his brother's pride, not the appeal to his sense of fair play, that Kaoru was sure would buy him the time he needed. Hikaru was obviously afraid of exactly that, or he wouldn't have lied to Kaoru in the first place. But Hikaru's stubborn pride would never let him admit to a weakness like that. Sure enough Hikaru's face went pale, and he jerked back as if Kaoru had punched him. "I'm not afraid of anything," he snapped. "I'm just trying to spare you the heartbreak of having her turn you down <i>after</i> you've had a chance to try to win her over." "Then prove it," Kaoru challenged his twin, voice soft and dangerous. "We'll both date her, do anything we want to convince her except ask her outright to go steady. We wait for her to ask one of us." Hikaru considered it, eyes bright as he probed the idea to see if there were any traps or loopholes. "It'll take forever, doing it that way," he pointed out. "You think?" Kaoru gave him a mocking smile. "I don't know. From what I've seen, when she decides she wants something she doesn't let <i>anything</i> stand in her way. She's here at Ouran, isn't she?" "Fine, you're on," Hikaru said instantly, stung once again by the implication that Kaoru knew her better than he did. "Then I guess that makes us rivals." "I guess it does," Kaoru agreed. There was a moment of hesitation as they looked into each other's eyes, silently asking if they really wanted to become enemies. They could have taken that chance to turn back, but they both turned away instead. So be it. Maybe in the end, they were too alike after all. <hr> When the twins had 'fought' in the past it had always been spectacularly public, and they'd had a great deal of fun coming up with dramatic ways to show their supposed anger with each other. But when it happened for real, the battle was more of a cold war. For more than three weeks they didn't speak to each other more than was absolutely necessary, and they were icily civil when forced to interact. They sat on either side of Haruhi in class and as far apart as possible in all other situations. One thing was certain, Hikaru reflected as he flirted half-heartedly with his assigned girls at the Host Club. They were never again going to be able to convince people that their staged spectacles were for serious. Not now that the real thing had been on display. "So, are you and Kaoru..." one of the girls began tentatively. He flicked a glance at her and she gulped and fell silent. Nobody quite had the nerve to ask when or if the twins were going to make up, or even what the fight had been about. Not after their reaction to the first few questions, anyway. There had been a huge outpouring of sympathy for both of them at the beginning of the fight, but as time went by and the twins showed no signs of reconciling, the girls had begun to get bored. Fewer people were asking for either of them, and if things continued in this trend they were going to be in serious trouble soon. The 'forbidden love' aspect had been what drew the girls to them, and if they didn't find something to replace it with they were going to end up with no customers at all. Trying to do some damage control, he gave the girl a flirty smile. "What can I say, ladies? Kaoru just can't compete with your charms. I'd rather spend the time with you." They giggled and fluttered, but looked disappointed. By the time Kyoya called the end of the session Hikaru was fairly certain he'd lost their interest entirely. Scratch three more off his list. He looked around automatically for Haruhi, hoping to get to her before Kaoru did. Most people seemed to be assuming that they were using Haruhi as a convenient intermediary, and that was fine with him. It meant that Tamaki thought nothing of them seeking out her company, as long as they were careful to keep things utterly platonic in public. He found his brother first; Kaoru was looking towards the door to the back room with a worried expression. Hikaru's heart lifted. Maybe Kaoru had just asked Haruhi to do something with him, and she'd turned him down. Maybe she was finally going indicate her preference. It wouldn't fix the mess entirely, but if he and Kaoru weren't actively rivals they might at least be able to speak to each other again. Hikaru wasn't willing to back down, but he honestly wasn't sure how much more of this he could take. To his surprise, Kaoru headed towards him. He still looked worried, which was a distinct improvement from the frozen, polite expression he usually used with his brother these days, but it made Hikaru uneasy. "What is it?" Hikaru asked warily as Kaoru reached him. His twin ended up standing much closer to him than had been their habit of late. Hikaru heard excited whispers start up among the girls, and wondered if Kaoru was just trying to drive their numbers back up. Well, if so, Hikaru was willing to play along for the moment. "Kyoya just pulled Haruhi into the back room with him," Kaoru murmured, keeping his voice low. "Yeah, so?" Hikaru asked, baffled as to why that would make Kaoru look so worried. "What, you don't think <i>he's</i> going to ask her out, do you?" That was the <i>last</i> thing they needed, another rival. Kaoru gave him an impatient look. "Hikaru, we've been losing the club an awful lot of money lately, and I'm pretty sure Kyoya has realized that Haruhi is what we're fighting over. What if he decides to take it out on her instead of us?" Hikaru's head came up like a deer scenting a hunter, and he stared wide-eyed at his twin. "Shit. This would be the perfect chance for him to put her back in debt to the club. Damn it, we can't let <i>her</i> pay for <i>our</i> issues." "Agreed," Kaoru said grimly. "Let's go." They didn't need to discuss what they were going to do; they fell back into working as a seamless unit as easily as if they'd never stopped. They ducked out of the main door of the music room, and headed quickly for the other door into the back room. Once there they paused, and Kaoru carefully inched it open far enough for them to peer inside. As they crouched down so they'd both be able to get a look, Hikaru was hit by a wave of longing. He'd missed his twin fiercely, but he hadn't realized how <i>much</i> he'd wanted their easy synchronicity back until this moment. Sure enough Kyoya looked like he'd backed Haruhi into the proverbial corner, and he was wearing his 'upset accountant' frown as he spoke to her. Thankfully they were close enough to the door for the twins to be able to hear them. "...has to stop," Kyoya was saying. "Things cannot be permitted to continue this way." Far from being intimidated, Haruhi looked a little baffled. "I agree, but as long as they keep refusing to speak to each other I don't think there's much the rest of us can do." "Not 'the rest of us'," Kyoya corrected her. "<i>You</i> have to deal with it. This fight won't end until you put a stop to it." "Me?" Haruhi was startled. "What have I got to do with anything?" "Gods." Hikaru kept his whisper low enough not to carry, but his anguish came through clearly anyway. "She's <i>oblivious</i>." Too softly to be heard inside the room, he thumped his head repeatedly against the doorframe. "How can someone as smart as she is not have realized that we're fighting over <i>her</i>?" Kaoru moaned in agreement. "This is <i>never</i> going to end," Hikaru muttered hopelessly. "Shh," Kaoru said, and they leaned in close to the door again. "...deal with it once and for all. Pick one of them and tell the other that it's over," Kyoya ordered her flatly. "Or all the lost revenue so far <i>and</i> all future losses will be your responsibility." Kyoya folded his arms across his chest and gave her a stern look. "<i>Pick</i> one?" Haruhi repeated. She'd gone from confused to indignant in the blink of an eye. She planted her hands on her hips and matched Kyoya glare for glare. "I would <i>never</i> try to come between them like that! They come as a set. Anyone who tries to date one of them without involving the other is in for a rude awakening. They've been too close for too long for someone else to break that bond." Stunned, Hikaru pulled back and braced his hand against the wall. He needed the support; it felt like his legs had turned to jelly. On the other side of the door Kaoru had done the same, and when their eyes met they traded identical dazed expressions. "We come as a set," Kaoru echoed her softly, astonished. "It's so simple. We come as a set, of course we do." "Trust Haruhi to see things at right angles to the rest of the world. Is she still the oblivious one, or is it us after all?" "I think it's us." "I think you're right." Looking back into the room, Hikaru watched as Haruhi continued to chastise a visibly startled Kyoya. What were the odds of them finding a girl who not only could tell them apart and was attractive in her own right, but who understood them better than they understood themselves? Approximately one in six billion, because Haruhi was one of a kind. Feeling like a massive weight had been lifted off his chest, Hikaru looked at his twin and a wild grin spread across his face. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" "Aren't I always?" Kaoru replied with an identical smile. He softly closed the door again, and then held his hand out to Hikaru. "No more fighting?" "No more jealousy," Hikaru agreed firmly, and took the offered hand. "We always did do best when we shared." They pulled each other into a tight hug, and Hikaru would have sworn he could <i>feel</i> the shock as the world put itself back in its rightful order. "So. Who apologizes to whom?" he asked when they finally separated. "We'd better put on one hell of a show to make up for the last couple of weeks." "I will," Kaoru said, lowering his eyes with a hint of a blush on his cheeks. "I owe you one anyway. I... Haruhi knew from the start it was me that day, but <i>I</i> thought we had her fooled until she said my name afterwards." "You what?" Hikaru started to get angry all over again, but he just couldn't sustain it. The truth was, he'd probably have done the same or worse if their positions had been reversed. "Yeah, well. If I hadn't lied to you in the first place you wouldn't have been that desperate, so I owe you one as well." They both nodded, a silent acknowledgement that the apologies had been heard and accepted. Now they could put it behind them, and hopefully never think about it again. "I'm the 'uke', though," Kaoru pointed out. "You're perceived as being the more dominant and independent one, so it makes more sense for me to be the one to decide I just can't live without you anymore and back down first." "Right, but how do we keep them from suspecting that we already did the making up while we were out here?" Hikaru asked. "They'll want to know what we spent all this time doing." "That's easy," Kaoru replied, and the quality of his grin was enough to convey his thoughts to his twin. "Perfect," Hikaru agreed, a wicked light in his eyes. "Let's do it." When he re-entered the music room, Hikaru's hair and clothes were mussed and he was visibly favouring his left leg. Conversations came to a screeching halt when people saw him, but he lifted his head proudly and ignored the attention, acting as though he always looked like he'd come straight from a fight. Kaoru slunk through the door a few moments later, limping on his right foot and keeping his shoulders hunched and eyes down. He was just as artfully mussed as Hikaru - it had taken them the better part of ten minutes to get the look just right. Neither of them sported so much as a single bruise, but it was amazing what body language and a bit of strategic rumpling could accomplish. Everyone in the room instantly assumed that they'd just been in a brawl. Well, almost everyone. Hikaru saw Haruhi giving the two of them a bemused smile, and somehow it didn't surprise him that she was the only one to realize it was an act. In all respects he and Kaoru continued to treat each other exactly as they had been for the last few weeks; which was to say, they each did their best to pretend the other one didn't exist. They took their places, and their plan bore instant fruit. There was a fresh rush of sympathy towards both of them, and the girls flocked to them. Hikaru put up with the mothering, but answered all questions about what had happened by changing the subject abruptly. A few times he let himself drift off and stare into space with a pained look, and it made the girls coo and flutter each time he did it. He didn't need to look to know that Kaoru was doing the same, only with more emphasis on 'mournful' and less on 'grieving'. Hikaru was also paying close attention to the chatter of the girls around his brother, and he was finally rewarded when he heard one of them give the cue they'd agreed to act on. "Kaoru-kun, you seem so distracted," one of the girls simpered. "Are you very hurt?" "No, I just..." Kaoru trailed off, his voice anguished, and Hikaru had to admire his brother's sense of artistry. "It's not my body that hurts, it's... it's..." Hikaru could actually <i>hear</i> the wobble in his twin's lip, and only long practice kept him from snickering as the girls lapped it up. "I... I can't stand it anymore!" Kaoru burst out, and there was a startled gasp from the girls around him as he flung himself to his feet. "Hikaru! Hikaru, please, I can't take this, please forgive me!" Kaoru's eyes welled with unshed tears. He'd always been good at crying on cue, one of the few things about him that Hikaru couldn't quite perfectly mimic, but when Hikaru met his brother's eyes he sensed they weren't entirely an act this time. Some of it was reaction to the very real relief of the end of hostilities between them. Hikaru glared at his twin as Kaoru crossed the room, but allowed his gaze to soften when Kaoru threw himself down to kneel at Hikaru's feet. "Please!" Kaoru begged again, letting one tear slide artfully down his cheek as he looked at the ground. "Please, I was wrong and you were right. I swear it will never happen again. I don't want to fight any more. Hikaru..." Another tear fell, and this time Hikaru caught the droplet on his finger, brushing his thumb over Kaoru's cheek. "Don't cry," he murmured, and he didn't have to try very hard to make his voice husky. He was no less relieved than his twin. "Please don't, Kaoru, you know I can't stand to see you cry. I'm sorry, too. We were both wrong." "Then you'll forgive me?" Kaoru pleaded, lifting his eyes. Hikaru leaned over him protectively, cupping his twin's face in both hands as if he was about to kiss Kaoru. The girls squealed, and he saw a flicker of amusement go through his brother's eyes. "If you can forgive me for hurting you that way," Hikaru murmured tenderly. "Kaoru..." "Hikaru..." Kaoru smiled through his tears, now flowing freely, and Hikaru heard at least one flash bulb go off. "I can forgive you anything as long as you stay with me." "Always," Hikaru promised passionately, and the girls went wild. Despite the fact that they spent the rest of the last round of Hosting effectively ignoring the girls and supposedly absorbed in each other, Hikaru had a sneaking suspicion they'd put a good dent into recouping the revenue losses caused by their fight. Kyoya certainly looked happier as they closed up for the day. They caught up to Haruhi on her way out of the school, coming up behind her on either side and each reaching to take one of her hands. She wound her fingers around theirs, smiling up at each of them in turn. "Let us take you to dinner?" Hikaru asked her. She was remarkably stubborn about how much money she would allow them to spend on a date with her, but he was learning to adapt to her restrictions. Presumably Kaoru was too. "We're celebrating," Kaoru continued. "You can pick the restaurant..." "...but you have to let us treat you," Hikaru finished. "Together? All three of us?" Haruhi asked, and looked both relieved and joyful when they nodded. "Oh, good! You've finally got things worked out, then. I told Kyoya-senpai you'd manage. I'm glad. Whatever it was, it was eating you both alive." "Haruhi..." Hikaru had to know, or he'd spend the rest of his life wondering. "Hmm?" she said, tilting her head at him. It was Kaoru who actually asked the question they were both thinking. "Do you really not know what we were fighting about?" "No," she shook her head. "I couldn't get either of you to talk about it. But it will be much nicer now that we can all go out together instead of trying to split my time between the two of you. We don't get enough time together as it is." They exchanged a look over her head that was full of amused exasperation. She still had no idea - it had clearly never even occurred to her that they might fight over her, because in her mind it had been obvious from the start that they would share. When they spoke, however, their voices held nothing but grateful affection. "Don't ever change, Haruhi." "We like you too much just the way you are."<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-5546852200090826415?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-24413799787712538632007-10-08T13:57:00.001-07:002007-10-08T13:57:40.265-07:001. things are good. social life is busy. school is overwhelming, but still good. I have so much shit going on this week (3 tests with one of them being 2 days long, one paper due. ick ick.) and this morning i wrote the majority of my paper and then my computer deleted it. woo! I'm thinking about going up to my lakehouse this weekend, for a day or a day and a night. just to be there near the water, sit outside near the cliff. sit at a big table, have a beer, spread my readings out. nap in a king sized bed. i need a bf so i can make him go with me. oh man all that sounds so good right now. cannnnooottt wait. 2. i'm thinking about my living situation for next year and it is so exciting to me. courtney and i have discussed it a bit and i poked around on craig's list. i'm hoping it is as good as i'm envisioning it. 3. i went home this past weekend. went friday, came back saturday. home was so good. I got to see everyone. my aunts, uncles. jack and i talked u.t. football. me and matthew discussed consol and its slutty hoes, pep rallies and various teachers whom i miss (oh mr max!). I freaking love that kid. He's such a nice guy and its almost like he's a brother. I am terribly protective and we can just talk about nearly anything. I dont think I will ever think any girl is good enough for him. I also got to talk to Dr. Owens who freaking rules and his wife too. saturday i sat around, watched football, went to heb with the sibling and walmart. ate a pizza. then my mom and i cried hahahah. we are nuts. i made a phone call, went to liz's and then here i am once again. 4. My dad went to a Halloween party one year when he was dating my mom and he was a flasher. with a sock on his nether regions. wtf. why. ahhahahhahahhahahahhaha. i bought bloomers for my costume. wooo. and a red headband. so excited. 5. college station had an eventful weekend and u.t. has had an eventful morning. a dead body of a missing woman (not affiliated with the university) was found near the san jacinto garage. then, there was a bomb threat and they evacuated the UTC. dun dun dun! 6. travesty is good. way good. except that sometimes I feel particularly useless. oh wellz. megan suggested we have the travesty trip at my lake. i dont know how i feel about a bunch of drunk, stoned hoes at that house though. a house with a cliff. we will seeeee. 7. my sister is the cutest. and jungle book rules. and i don't know how i feel about my septum. i think i may hide him for now. also, if you say you will do things, do them. yehhh!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-2441379978771253863?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-23769930374855122002007-10-08T13:04:00.001-07:002007-10-08T13:04:18.721-07:00For some reason, I've been having a dream on my mind lately which happened when I was in high school. I think I was in 10th grade at the time, or possibly 11th. A boy in my church youth group committed suicide. Nobody suspected that he was depressed or suicidal, so that made it all the more of a shock when they found his body downstairs. I remember where I was and what I was doing when I found out. It was after school. I was playing Terranigma (on an SNES ROM) on my family computer (I remember the part I was playing at in particular and that made this even more chilling) when I heard my mom on the phone, and heard her start crying, and then she told me and burst into tears again. I didn't cry until later on the car ride to the church. I felt some guilt because he and I used to be pretty good friends, and I wondered if we remained that way if he would still possibly be alive. I sat feeling guilty while other people from the group shared their experiences with him. It wasn't until a couple weeks later in which I had the dream. I dreamt I was standing in the back of the church and he suddenly appeared. I asked him how he was doing, and he told me he was doing fine. He was a little sad, but seemed at peace. I nodded, and then he told me to let his family know that he was doing fine. I never said anything to them, but when I talked to them again, I sort of thought about it. I think they picked it up. The whole experience was a turning point for me because it made me more determined to find solutions <b>other</b> than suicide when I was depressed. It also made me question my church's support network, even though I'm not sure how much that would have mattered anyway. It made me question the power of my dreams a bit more, of course. But I'm still curious about the answer to "Why am I thinking about this dream right now?" Blah.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-2376993037485512200?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-14285190855265920902007-10-08T12:53:00.001-07:002007-10-08T12:53:32.821-07:00Mike and I went home to Utica this weekend to accomplish some wedding stuff, and to see my parents, because my dad's birthday was the 2nd and my mom's was the 5th. Russ also came home from school, it was really nice, but the weekend FLEW BY. <br />I got in to Utica late friday night after sitting on the train for 5 hours next to a CRAZY PERSON. I had my laptop and headphones ( I was watching Upright Citizens Brigade, season 2) and she kept TALKING TO ME! More like, mumbling in my general direction, questions about the train, and my computer, etc etc. I would slowly pause my DVD, take off my headphones, and stare at her, uttering no more than an "oh" or "mmmmhmmm" but she didn't get the picture. It was actually pretty funny! Saturday I got my dress fitted (it was just a little large- in the CHEST, sigh), mike and I got our wedding bands (he's actually wearing his grandpa Mike's, but needed it resized), and we checked out two places to have our party/reception/whatever we're going to call it next summer. Originally we thought it would be cheaper just to rent a big tent and put it in his aunt's yard, but with renting the tent, chairs, tables, dance floor, porta potties, generators, and not to mention the cost of food and alcohol, it turns out to be pretty expensive. That's thrown together wtih the concern about mud, bugs, rain, and then the cleanup of everything. So we thought, hey, let's at least SEE some places that we could have the reception at, couldn't hurt! The place we found is GREAT. The cost is going to be about the same as if we had done it the tent/yard way. This place is on a golf course (but does NOT look like it). It's very Adirondack-y, with a huge wraparound porch and the inside has dark exposed beams and really cute lanterns everywhere. It's very us- infact I would love to have a house someday that had the same vibe. So it's got a huge field behind it, and the guy said that if the weather is nice, we can just basically hang out outside and have drinks and even when we do our vows, we can do them out there. And if it rains, then WHO CARES- we have shelter! Just not having to worry about rain and bugs is worth it for me. Now we just have to decide on a final budget and figure out what we want for food, but that won't be a big deal. Plus we still are planning on having the campout at his aunt's house, complete with bonfire! THAT is going to be awesome. This way we can weed out the crazy drunk relatives- they can go home from the reception and all the cool youngin's can go up to his aunt's for the bonfire/campout! wee! Anyway. We left utica early sunday morning and I'm just exhausted. I love when my brother is home from school - Mike comes over, Russ's girlfriend comes over (Carrie) and the 6 of us hang out and listen to music and have fun. It's really nice, we all get along so well. I love my family. So in short, we only have to get our marriage license and finalize our vows/ ceremony stuff with the officiant, and in 19 days we shall be MARRIED! I can't wait! asdjaskjdljdf<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-1428519085526592090?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-80585859078720223192007-10-08T12:39:00.003-07:002007-10-08T12:39:54.221-07:00...energy, that is. I have managed a couple of things today at work, but not much. Luckily, the pressure's off from last week. Unluckily, the St. Paul-based boss of all the tech guys in the same cube farm is here today and she's set up shop in the little conference room right across from my cube. Which means she's frequently either having conversations with everyone right outside my cube, or coming out to see me on Amazon or Wikipedia or whatever. Bleah. Speaking of which, I found out today that getting stuff OFF of an Ipod onto a computer is a pain in the butt, which I guess most Ipod users know already. I have an 80 gb external hard drive at home with my ripped stuff, and a 40 gb one at work, with slightly different collections. So I wanted to drag my "fun pop" list onto my work computer, no dice. I had to download a non-Apple utility to do it. And I haven't yet looked to see whether it was smart enough just to copy the stuff I don't already have in my collection, or just blindly copied everything. No biggie. I was also reminded that Amazon is now selling MP3s directly and I thought I'd look to see if there were any cheap classical (entire) albums worth downloading, and found one of Bach violin concerti for $5.50. But I tried downloading it and it didn't work and then I played with the setting and realized I had to tell it about the work firewall, and did, but by then Amazon thought I'd downloaded it and won't let me do it again. So I have an email into tech support. That sort of thing must happen constantly. So, yeah, the weekend. Saturday was laundry and Mame rehearsal - I didn't have to be there at the beginning, they were just doing book scenes, and I thought I'd have a ton of time, but I ended up getting there right on time. We blocked "That's How Young I Feel" (which is Mame and the "kids" - 8 girls and 4 guys - and 3 of the 4 guys didn't show up. Sigh. And it was hot and gross and those poor dancers were frantically trying to lindy.) Oh, yes, and dinner with Bunthorne Boy. We went to a teeny Italian restaurant on 53rd St. called "La Gioconda" (actually I was there a half hour early, and just drank Pinot Grigio until he showed up). Had a very nice time. I graciously offered to let him dump all his sorrows on me, since when we had met for <i>his</i> birthday dinner a couple of months ago, I totally dumped on <i>him</i> (classy, right), but we managed to have a reasonable two-sided conversation. He's playing rehearsal piano for the G&S Xmas Carol that VLOG is doing and is discovering fun music from the shows he doesn't now - he kept humming them to me and I would say, "Oh, that's Sorcerer Act I finale" or "Oh, that's Iolanthe's Lament" or whatever. Foodwise, I started with grilled calamari on mesclun greens, then had veal saltimbocca (very good) and tiramisu. Much wine was consumed. Very pleasant evening. I thought Sunday would be easy-peasy and I'd get a ton of stuff done, but with ironing and lunch and errands and taking out the air conditioners, I didn't actually turn my attention to THE LIST until about 3:30. What I got done: made the list of cuts and changes to the Mame score (which is almost complete, since we've pretty much staged all the numbers). I will have to proof that tonight, then send it out to everyone. Then I finished feeding "If He Walked..." into Finale so I can then transpose it up a step (or into any key I want). I need to proof that, too. We finished watching Ugly Betty, Season I, except that Mr. Man fell asleep on the last episode, so we'll have to watch it again tonight. I have the first episode of this season taped, but forgot to get the 2nd - I will have to grab that on some rebroadcast. Wow, for someone with no energy, this is turning into a brain-dump-fest. Today, oddly enough, I'm not needed at rehearsal, so I won't be back there until Wednesday. I came into the office only because I was planning to go to the gym, but I ended up taking a walk along the Hudson instead. I will have to repeat that when it's cooler (it was really hot and gross), but also remember that it would be very easy to take the subway down to Chamber Street, then start the river walk at the north end of Battery Park City (which is where I ended up today) - as the walk between Houston and there is not particularly interesting and now seems to be all beat-up and constructiony. Have I reiterated my love for Laurie R. King lately? I'm now reading "Justice Hall", am once again riveted. Having never read any Sherlock Holmes, I have no idea whether she's imitating Conan Doyle's style, but maybe I should rectify that hole in my knowledge.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-8058585907872022319?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-76256505267987323152007-10-08T12:39:00.001-07:002007-10-08T12:39:31.269-07:00Title: Keeping You a Secret<br />Chapter 11: Iris<br />Author: Liberty<span id="storyField"> Beta: Helen<br /> Proof: G.M.<br /> A/N: Lyrics are in Italic and the note is in Bold. I got the lyrics from Azlyrics.com.<br /> <br /> <a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://pics.livejournal.com/libertysfic/pic/0000b071/"><img width="320" height="80" border="0" alt="" src="http://pics.livejournal.com/libertysfic/pic/0000b071/s320x240"/></a><br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /><div class="ljcut"> Justin doesn’t remember where he is but he knows that he isn’t at home. He slowly opens his eyes and sees that he is in Brian’s house, more specific in the living room on the couch.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> He can tell its dark. He glances at the clock and sees that it is after 11. He pulls himself up and walks up the stairs to Brian’s room. The door is slightly ajar and he can see the light is on.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> He walks up to it and knocks gently.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> Brian is sitting at his computer, shirtless, when he hears the knock. He turns around and sees Justin standing there watching him. He crosses the room and takes the smaller boy in his arms.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> Brian: “How did you sleep?”<br /> <br /> Justin: “Okay but I am still a little tried. How long was I out?”<br /> <br /> Brian: “About two hours. My mom is gone. I wanted to wake you but she told me to let you sleep.”<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> Justin smiles into Brian’s chest.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> Justin: “Smart woman.”<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> Brian walks Justin over to his bed and they sit down.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> Brian: “You want to tell me what’s wrong?”<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> Justin looks at the older boy in the eyes and he can feel the tears well up.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> Justin: “My mom found my sketch book of drawings of you.”<br /> <br /> Brian: “Okay, well, tell her they are for art.”<br /> <br /> Justin: “I can’t *blushes* they are nudes too.”<br /> <br /> Brian: “You just saw me naked for the first time today,<br /> <br /> *looks at Justin who is bright red* you used your imagination?”<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> Justin nods.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> Brian: “I think I need to see these….”<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> Justin laughs.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> Justin: “So my mom asked me what they were and why I had so many and I told her they were of my boyfriend and that I was gay.”<br /> <br /> Brian: “Wow!”<br /> <br /> Justin: “Yeah, she told me I was mistaken and I told her I wasn’t. She told me that if I was saying I was a faggot then I have to leave; she would send me to St. Louis to live with family.”<br /> <br /> Brian: “What! Are you fucking serious?”<br /> <br /> Justin: “Yes. She told me that I have until Sunday night to figure out if I am really gay and if I am …I’m gone or I can lie and stay here but I wouldn’t see you again.” *the tears that once were threatening to fall now have fallen*<br /> <br /> Brian: “What are you going to do?”<br /> <br /> Justin: “I don’t know and I don’t want to think about it right now.”<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> Brian looks Justin in his eyes and reaches behind his neck and pulls him in for a deep kiss.<br /> <br /> They lay back on the bed with Brian half laying on Justin, with his arms wrapped around Brian’s waist, pulling off the blonde’s shirt. Brian looks to try and see what’s there…<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> Justin: “Help me forget …Please.”<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> Not needing another word spoken, Brian and Justin somehow ended up completely naked with their hands running over each other’s bodies. Spit mixed with the heavy moans as Brian slowly kisses down Justin’s alabaster skin.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> As Brian holds himself at Justin’s ass he looks into his blue sapphire eyes and sees nothing but love and wanting. He rolls the condom on and slowly starts to push himself in and sees the pain on Justin’s face.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> Brian: “Breathe…”<br /> <br /> Justin: “Does it always hurt?”<br /> <br /> Brian: “Yes, it will get better I promise.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> After a few very intense minutes, Brian feels Justin start to relax Pushing himself against him; they soon find a rhythm and start rocking against each other. The house is suddenly filled with moans and gasps of oxygen. Both boys suddenly know it’s about to end even though it is far too soon for either of them.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> After a few minutes of catching their breathe Justin leans up on his elbows and smiles down at Brian’s half shut eye lids and kisses him gently on the lips.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> Brian: “What are you doing blonde?”<br /> <br /> Justin: “Just thinking how fucking beautiful you are.”<br /> <br /> Brian: “You’re not bad yourself.”<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> Justin falls back on to the bed.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> Justin: “What am I going to do?”<br /> <br /> Brian: “Tell your mom that you were wrong.”<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> Justin looks at him like he grew a second head.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> Justin: “What the fuck are you talking about?”<br /> <br /> Brian: “Justin, it’s something you will have to do so we can still be together.”<br /> <br /> Justin: “You still want to be with me?”<br /> <br /> Brian: “Yeah, you kinda of grow on a person.”<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> Justin playfully slaps his stomach…<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> Justin: “We won’t get to see each other a lot.”<br /> <br /> Brian: “We will work it out.”<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> Brian leans down and kisses Justin gently.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> Suddenly the alarm goes off and instead of that annoying beeping sound, the intro to Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls fills the room and as Brian reaches over to turn it off Justin stops him.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> Justin: “I love this song.”<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> They both lay on the bed just letting the words wash over them and secured that they will be okay but unsure what will happen with Justin’s mom knowing the truth.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <i>And I'd give up forever to touch you<br /> <br /> 'Cause I know that you feel me somehow<br /> <br /> You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be<br /> <br /> And I don't want to go home right now.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> And all I can taste is this moment<br /> <br /> And all I can breathe is your life<br /> <br /> 'Cause sooner or later it's over<br /> <br /> I just don't want to miss you tonight.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> And I don't want the world to see me<br /> <br /> 'Cause I don't think that they'd understand<br /> <br /> When everything's made to be broken<br /> <br /> I just want you to know who I am.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming<br /> <br /> Or the moment of truth in your lies<br /> <br /> When everything feels like the movies<br /> <br /> And you bleed just to know you're alive.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> And I don't want the world to see me<br /> <br /> 'Cause I don't think that they'd understand<br /> <br /> When everything's made to be broken<br /> <br /> I just want you to know who I am.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> (break and solo)<br /> <br /> And I don't want the world to see me<br /> <br /> 'Cause I don't think that they'd understand<br /> <br /> When everything's made to be broken<br /> <br /> I just want you to know who I am.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> And I don't want the world to see me<br /> <br /> 'Cause I don't think that they'd understand<br /> <br /> When everything's made to be broken<br /> <br /> I just want you to know who I am.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> I just want you to know who I am.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> I just want you to know who I am.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> I just want you to know who I am.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> They fall asleep holding each other.</i><br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> Justin wakes up right before dawn. The events of night before comes back to him and he smiles. He looks at Brian and he’s just struck at how beautiful he is in the morning light. He leans down and presses a gentle kiss on his lips.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> Justin: “I’m sorry, please forgive me.”<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> With that Justin gets up and starts to dress himself and as he leaves, he places a note on Brian’s chest. He hates what he is doing but he has decided that he has to do what he knows is right in his heart. Brian wakes up sometime after nine and feels the empty bed and then feels something on his chest. He opens the note up and reads:<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <b>“Brian,<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> You look beautiful first thing in the morning. I am sorry to be gone when you wake up and trust me nothing more would make me happier then to wake up in your arms. I have to do this. I won’t let her send me away but to deny who I am and who you are to me, is not an option. I’ll be back soon. I know this maybe soon but I love you and I’m falling really hard and fast; so for me to ignore that is impossible. I am sorry if you don’t understand but I will come see you when I’m done with my mom.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> Love,<br /> <br /> Justin”</b><br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> Brian: Fuck!<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> Brian gets up and runs to the phone to call his mom. He doesn’t know how, but it has to work; he can’t leave Justin alone.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> Justin’s house<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> Justin walks into the house and he’s not surprised that everyone is still in bed. He knew this morning, when he woke up next to Brian, he could never ignore the feelings the older boy stirred in him. They were too strong and powerful.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> That’s when he made his choice, he was leaving home still unsure about everything else in his life but completely sure of his love for Brian and his truth of himself.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> He walked into his room in the basement and he feels free for once as he realize that this was never his home. He had never felt he had a home before. He pulls out a huge duffel bag and starts to place his clothes, sketchbooks, cd’s, and school books in there. As he looks around he realizes it’s a little sad that his whole life can fit into a large duffle bag. He starts to head up the stars into the kitchen and sees his mom there.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> Justin: “Hello.”<br /> <br /> Jennifer: “What are you doing?”<br /> <br /> Justin: I made my choice. I’m gay mom and nothing will change that. I could lie and say that I was confused but I’m not. I’m very sure and for once in my life I feel at peace and free. I can’t and will never deny that. So, I am leaving. I don’t know where I’m staying yet so don’t ask but I can’t stay here you made that clear. I do love you but I’m sorry.”<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> Jennifer doesn’t say anything as she watches her son walk out the door and her life forever.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> When Justin walks out he lets out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. Right in front of his house is a black jeep with Brian inside watching him. He carries the bag and Brian meets him half way in the yard and pulls him into a hug.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> Justin: “What are you doing here?”<br /> <br /> Brian: “Thought you could use some help.”<br /> <br /> Justin: “Thank you” (he whispers as the tears start to fall)<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> Brian leans down and gently brushes his lips against Justin’s<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> Brian: “Come on, let’s go.”<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> They get into the Jeep and Justin looks back his home and his family. He sees his mother in the window watching as he drives away</div><br /> </span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4758228620596436919-7625650526798732315?l=notebookpc13.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>notebookPC13http://www.blogger.com/profile/05159214534790122315noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4758228620596436919.post-55656769351399954362007-10-08T12:17:00.001-07:002007-10-08T12:17:17.745-07:00I'm almost back up and running at work. My frequently-ill co-worker was out again today so I just used her computer to bang out some work while this, my main computer, was getting the old "format from scratch and reinstall windows" treatment. I'm restoring all my work files from a backup from the day before I got ad-ware so I should be 98% functional. Of course, I lost lots of personal touches because I exclude anything not-work from the backup. Some of my bookmarked links and such may be within the system files but anything else, gone. It's nothing Earth-shaking, for instance, a lot of the base files in Photoshop for icons would have been not backed up. But you know, I don't care. I had a lot of stuff downloaded I never used anyway, if I did, I already sent it home. (In fact, this may be a good time to start using that Firefox tool that syncs your bookmarks between two computers...) The day's been just strange. It's October, the leaves are brown and falling, drifting on the wind... and it's 90. Yeah, NINETY. And seriously, as nice as the weather is, you'd think eating lunch outside would be great. Well, not so much when the tree above you is dumping leaf after leaf directly into your Over the weekend I gritted my teeth and replaced the heatsink in my computer. You may remember, a few months ago I bought a dual-core CPU and had trouble mounting the heat sink I got with it. I used a temporary heatsink but after a while I decided I needed to go through with the real deal. It was kind of a hassle (I ended up removing the power supply so I could reach in better) but I got it done. The <a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://www.frostytech.com/articleview.cfm?articleID=1895">new heatsink runs really quietly and it cools a lot better than the stock sink</a>. With the old one the CPU ranged from 42C just websurfing up to 60C while playing a demanding video game, and 65C is as hot as that chip should get (5C is not enough margin for sensor error in my book). With the new one it ranges from 38C to 44C. Oh, I also got in some City of Villains this weekend. Quite a lot actually, though nobody noticed me skulking in the background until I said something on global Sunday night. (I got 2 levels on my Mastermind while reacclimating.) Hee. I definitely had some 'motion sickness' problems at first but I got over them by playing in short sessions. I really ripped up the apartment over the weekend though, as I pulled things out of my closet to sort and/or throw away. I totally want a T-Shirt that says "<a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://www.stylenetwork.com/ssms-site/style.do?showId=6130">WWNND?</a>" and "FOOLISHNESS! Mayhem!!" on the back. I'm not done with that. But, I'm t