понедельник, 8 октября 2007 г.

fourninetyfive

So yeah. I really can't sleep. And you can't say I didn't try, because I layed down for bed at 3am, and 3 hours later, nothing. Fuck. What is worse? Staying up all night or getting 2 and a half hours of sleep?
If it wasn't creepy as fuck, I would go and sit on the back porch because it seems like its nice out, or watch the sun rise or some shit. My ideas/thoughts that came to me while I was trying to fall asleep and failing:
-Mental to-do list:
--call the people I need to call
--make a calendar with Danny and whoever else wants to. Perhaps make a night of it and drink
-Mortality, time passing, and scary things
-Road trips, long weekends, Kurt, Utah, Jordan, and snowboarding
-Jake and various possibilities
-Winter break and learning to drive stick shift
-Doing laundry, Kimbark, various expenses
-What beds are made of
-going home and Thanksgiving
-Johnny's Ice House, rat hockey, taking my hockey stuff on the green line
-The pictures from shark fishing, asking my dad to teach me to drive shift
-how the thoughts that keep me awake at night are about laundry and how thats kind of funny. They don't really keep me awake. I just can't sleep. I need to fix this sleeping bs so it doesn't get to be like last year. I'm guessing this could be fixed simply by waking up at better times. Possibly no caffeine after 8pm may help, but I don't think thats the common denominator here. This didn't happen nearly as frequently during the summer. I am going to try to go back to sleep. I'm really close to finishing Gold Coast by Nelson Demille. 3 Chapters left. I made myself stop reading and try to sleep. This is way less sleep than the math team adventure night. The math team adventure was epic. It wasn't the most fun thing ever, but it was somehow very special. Cruising down Lake Shore at 3:30am listening to Reel Big Fish and singing along with Brian and Chris. It was nice to be included. Depot tasted incredible, and now I keep wanting to go over Brian's gigantic apartment and play Wii. Think I'll be able to wake up at 8:40am? I don't.
Think I'll be able to stay awake in class? I don't.
I'm planning on going to all 4 of them, so it will be a bit rough. At least I can come home and nap to my heart's content. I'll aim for C-Shop lunch between Chemistry and Discrete, that way when I get back to the Spacestation I can just crash. An astronaut venturing out into the void only to return to the spacestation with the Russians. So I left my mp3 player in Mollie's car. Thats a bummer. I busted out the old CD player because of it. I used that thing to death. Well loved. I only have 4 CDs here (although I could burn my entire music collection, if I had the time or more importantly the desire to. I've got Shine Some Light, the Dan Lang-Gunn benefit album. It's great, probably the best CD purchase I've ever made, but I can't listen to it straight through. Then there is the Tossers CD sampler that I have from the Tosser's show. Emily's copy has been on my desk forever. It only has 4 songs on it, 1 of which I don't even know if its the Tossers. It doesn't sound like it, and is not labeled on the sleeve thing. I found my MC Lars CD, The Graduate, which was in a CD case, and I had no idea it was there. I was just on the hunt for something to listen to on my walk to class tomorrow. MC Lars is the man. It's been so hot here. I almost want it to get cold. I was thinking about what good earmuffs my big headphones make, and how I'll be putting them on tomorrow and going outside, but it's supposed to be almost 90 degrees. I am still very much enjoying my air conditioner. I thought about asking someone to be more than friends. The sun must be up by now. I can't tell. The light of the computer monitor is making it impossible to accurately judge how much light is coming in through the blinds. Also, my window looks out onto a brick wall. If I want to see anything, I have to look out at a funny angle. In addition to that, that funny angle faces west. I wish I was back home, riding out to the ocean on the Cookie II, looking to the east and watching the sun rise over Moriches Bay. This time I wouldn't be anxious or nervous, just thanking God for every second. I wish the weather was the same, too. I think I would like to try to cry myself to sleep listening to Billy Joel (thanks for the idea, Mike). Too bad my mp3 player is in the back seat of the Eon. It's officially 3 hours until class has begun. I'm going to go give it "the old college try" and see if I can't get myself to sleep.

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