вторник, 9 октября 2007 г.

silent_muse06: it's 90 degress Farenheit in October...

I worry about the dumbest things. My life's not going to end if some guy doesn't like me. I need to concentrate on important things, like my grades and how they suck and how if I don't improve them I will lose my tuition waiver.  That's fairly worrisome, I think. However, I have no motivation. All I want to do is sit on my ass and fool around with my computer and sleep.  I get tongue-tied. Did I mention that I'm awkward? I am. I'm very awkward. And crazy. Literally.  There's no point in worrying about this. I should do my philosophy homework or at least read for sociology. I should, I really should. I should do lots of things. I should go for a walk.  I should stop sleeping so much. I should eat more. I should stop skipping chapel. I should clean my dorm room. I should leave my dorm room once in a while. I should stop being so dramatic.  I hate the word 'should.'  I'm obsessed with "Soul Meets Body" by Death Cab for Cutie. I listen to the same songs over and over again. I need to expand my horizons. Should! Stupid word!  I hate how my school looks like an industrial park. Maybe if my college looked properly collegiate I'd feel like doing homework. Probably not.  I slept wrong and now my side hurts. Serves me right.  I fell asleep in my clothes last night. I hate it when that happens; I always feel gross when I wake up and I'm still in my day clothes and I haven't brushed my teeth or taken my medication or anything. Disrupt my schedule and I become very unhappy. I'm like a toddler, really.  Why is it that I feel more like myself when I'm online than when I'm actually physically interacting with someone? Pointless.

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