понедельник, 8 октября 2007 г.

inaugural: liar!

I'm being lied to. Noah said he hasn't left Amazon yet, but a certain someone's email account reveals that he has left Amazon ALREADY and that he is enjoying his "unemployment" and that people miss him, etc. And yet, after having gotten off the phone with him 30 minutes ago, he made it sound like he was still at work and that *maybe* this Friday will be his last day. That no one really gives a fuck about when he will leave, and thus, he can pretty much do whatever he wants to do now. Is he fucking around with me? I really can't tell. But the point is, people have been surprised in emails that he has left and asking him how he's been ... presumably because he is no longer in the office! And well, if he's responding with, "it feels so good to be unemployed" ... I can too assume that he no longer works at Amazon. If this is the case, why hasn't he told me? He has been sooo laissez-faire with making work references these past two weeks and I never really thought about it much until now. For example, he never really uses his work laptop anymore. Why? Because he probably had to give it back to Amazon! And when I offered to drive him back to the Columbia Tower for work, he wouldn't accept my ride. Why? Because he probably went somewhere else after we had lunch instead of going back to work. Or "work." Why would he lie about this to me? I know it's his life, but it's still a rather big life decision that I would like to think he would inform me about. And what is there to hide anyway? The fact that he didn't tell me really hurts me; I feel like he doesn't trust me, and as a result, I feel like I can't trust him. I mean, he's lying about being employed at this very moment! To me and my mom! And everyone else. I'm thinking about busting him on it. But the fact that I feel like I can't trust him makes me not want to be around him. To not be intimate with him or even see him. And of course, I can't openly drag this out because then that would include admitting that I was in the wrong ... heh.

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